Limiting (eliminating?) YouTube gaming videos etc.

I'm sure I'll be making daily posts this next few weeks as we attempt to save our sanity and help our lovely kid find his way.

While we are doing all the things we can think of, my wife and I had a sitdown about video time today. He's 6. Like many (most?) 6-year olds, he loves watching YouTube and I thought this was a benign thing until today. I realized that many of the gamers he watches really have ADHD, treated or not.

We decided to eliminate almost all the gaming videos by going to YouTube Kids. I'm sure this is going to be extremely popular with the kid when he discovers this tomorrow.

Question is - have you found changing the screen habits are helpful? As many have pointed out the screen does a superior job of "distracting" the kid. But we pay for it later. What are your screen time experiences? Pediatric website says 90-120 minutes/day. We are even thinking of going more extreme to no screens at all during the week.

[Pennywink]

We are fairly stringent with screen time & what we allow to fulfill it. Each child (ages 7 and 3) gets 30 mins a day on weekdays while I’m fixing dinner (though they can watch the other child’s 30 mins as well.) We allow a Saturday morning tv binge if they do it together, otherwise just 30. And no screen time on Sundays unless it’s a full family thing. We definitely encourage screen time they do together, like cartoons, over solo. We also do not allow YouTube or internet searches without an adult, as who knows what would pop up. No screens are allowed in bedrooms, when guests are over or during outings (except car rides over 2 hours).

So far, this set up is working fairly well for us, but I also realize different families have different needs. (When I’m sick, it’s tv binge for all! Lol.) For us, our children have a fairly easy time occupying themselves with out the screen once it’s finally off (which they delay & fuss about), which is my preference. My older child (with ADHD) loves reading, crafting & inventing, and my younger (who does throw a fit every time we turn the screen off) is happy doing puzzles and playing with toys. And I stick them outside whenever I can, as fresh air & exercise seem to help.

I would imagine if we had started more generous, there would be some push back at first to a more restricted setup. Your child probably will throw a fit - and it will probably get worse before it gets better as he tests how far he can go to make you cave in. It if you stay firm, they will adjust.

[Hidden in reply to Pennywink]

Thank you. The overall feedback has been to reduce significantly the amount of screen. We've done screen free weeks in the past, usually at the beach or other place where a lot of outdoor time is available. We started last night by deleting YouTube off all the access points. He complained this morning and then I watched some kids stuff with him. We talked about what we were watching and I felt that he was getting a more "human" start to the morning as opposed to the usual bang-bang-bang start he's had for the last few months.

[Pennywink in reply to Hidden]

Studies have shown that parent interaction involving screen time can actually be quite beneficial and educational. So watching something with our children and discussing it is a far superior use of screen time. But doesn’t let me get the kitchen clean. 🍿

[Onthemove1971]

I am not a fan of eliminating screen time. Our children will need to do everything they can to fit in ( and as a teacher, I know) and screen experiences impact what they talk about with peers. I also think it is important to allow children their own down time and for them screen time is what feels good to them.

Now what and how much is up to you... we travel a lot so we allow it when we travel, but we also limit it when he has had to much. I also allow ( when he is very dressed and filled his H2O jug) him to watch when he eats in the am.

But at night when we are together for dinner, and very little at night.

It can also be used as a carrot, if you do x you get screen time ( but only 30min or whatever).

We see it as balance..

Good luck

[MomofOne13]

My son (8) watches a lot of you-tube gaming videos as well, and we've had to put some limits on it. He has a very specific set of you tubers he's allowed to watch (because we've already determined they are kid-friendly) and asks permission before he strays from them. I agree, it's clear alot of the you tubers he watches exhibit ADHD symptoms, but it also shows they've found a creative outlet! My son will also take what he sees in i.e. minecraft videos and try to replicate it in his own games, which means he's learning, and he's starting making his own short videos as well. I think you have to decide how much time is ok, and set reasonable limits (we don't allow screen before school, and limit it to just a couple videos in the afternoon, before I'm home to help with the homework anyway). Weekends can get excessive, but I alternate screen with outside activities. I think this will be tougher battle when he's older and has more homework, but for now this is working for us.

[jmhunter1014]

We're with you! Our 8yo son is ADHD Combined Type (with behavioral component), and if left to his own devices (no pun intended!), he'd play video games and watch YouTube all day long. We've noticed that when he has more than 2 hours per day of any screen time, it's overstimulating for him and he becomes hyper focused on the content, then turns into an aggressive, easily agitated monster. We have frequently taken time to "detox" him by removing all screen time for a minimum of a week at a time. Recently he was grounded from all electronics for a month and a half, and had to remember all the other fun non-electronic things he had in the house. He read books, played with his Hot Wheels cars, built LEGOs, played board games, and drew/colored. We're now on a strict 2 hour a day limit (also NO GAMING ON YOUTUBE or Amazon/Hulu is an absolute must - they're the worst!), and any time we go over that we notice a massive difference in his behavior that not only happens at home, but carries over to school, and lasts for DAYS. I highly recommend restricting it.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to jmhunter1014]

This journey is very long… one of the things that I have recently learned about was making sure that the punishment we give our son fits the action and is appropriate for his ADHD. But in order for a punishment to work it must be short term and related to the action.

I would I would like to recommend the podcast "parenting ADHD". Recently she talked about punishment and wow did this change my life.

The The past I know I have punished because I was angry, which is normal

for many parents.