Hi, I am glad the school year is coming to an end also. The nights my son does not see a tutor and I have to sit with him is nerve wrecking. I have not thought of asking my son to set goals but maybe I should think about it. Does your son get any type of reward if he reaches a goal?
My 8 year old son set a goal to have no meltdowns, or what he calls "red fury." At first, he wanted to go 7 days and since that was unrealistic, we started with 3. That was around New Years. Now he is regularly passing 7 days!
And if we see him getting himself under control, we reward him for that too. For instance, he says a bad word and tears up homework - but then he doesn't escalate, instead using his tools be they breathing, taking time alone, or doing something in his sensory room. Since he took care of himself, he earns a reward regardless of the behavior that lead to his need.
This is more for younger children I think but, My 7 year old sons grade 1 teacher and I came up with a star system for at school. It has been a work in progress but she has a little piece of paper on his desk with 5 boxes. She then puts a star in a box when he accomplishes a task. Usually having to do with speedily finishing a worksheet, or getting his shoes coat on quickly. ( I have a daydreamer type) Then at the end of the day he brings it home. It is an effective way for the teacher and I to communicate how the day went and gives him goals. Right now we are adding up stars at the end of the week and turning them into some sort of reward. Therefore the teacher doesn’t have to deal with rewarding him in front of others. It is discreet at school. Seems to work for him on most days. 5 star days are still rare but to see his face all lit up on a day when he gets one is cute. Both the teacher and I feel we are way less naggy as well.
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