Does not obey when meds wear off

[jam1959]

My 10 year old does very well on Vyanse. The problem I have is in the evenings when it wears off. Most of the time she will just not obey what I ask her to do. Things like, time to take your bath, please pick up your clothes, etc. This issue is minimal on a Sat/Sun when she has her meds. Her teachers say she is a delight in school since she has her meds. I realize kids try harder for others but I am wondering if it is normal for ADHD kids to just not obey. I am wondering if it is typical ADHD or could it be ODD. This is not a problem anywhere but with me. Also, I hear people reference an ADHD specialist. Where do you find that? I am hoping NateJ might respond. His responses have been so informative. TIA

[kcluanne]

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We are dealing with something similar with our 6 year old daughter. She is also on vyvanse and during the day when I am with her I seldom have a problem. At school she has improved but still struggles with getting distracted and listening. At bedtime however, she turns into a different kid. Getting her to brush her teeth is our biggest struggle. She laughs like it is all a big joke when we try to get her to do it and seems to enjoy frustrating us (a marked difference from her personality during the day). Punishments don't phase her, incentives can help temporarily but not in the long term. She can't not brush her teeth so it is a fight almost every night. We are extremely frustrated and exhausted. I wish I could offer you some advice but we are struggling too so the best I can do is say it's not just you.

I think it is common for kids with ADHD to not "obey" like you say, because of the deficits in executive function: the ability to think and plan ahead, organize, control impulses, and complete tasks. In general, kids with ADHD want to be able to sit quietly; they want to make their rooms tidy and organized; they want to do everything their parent says to do—but they don’t know how to make these things happen. We got our daughter diagnosed 5 months ago so things are still fairly new, but the thing I have to keep reminding myself is that she is not doing this purposely, she honestly can't help it. This doesn't make it less challenging to deal with, but it helps to see her actions through that lens instead of one that you view a neurotypical kid through.

[Crunchby]

Yep. Same issue here. Mine is 12... And disobey at this age = violent behavior. I don't have the answers and we are still navigating the hallways of hell... Here's what's helped:. Adding Seroquel, low dose, implementing Kazdin method for parenting the defiant child. But wait there's more ..(said like an made for tv voice-over)...add in total transformation for a dose of reality that Kazdin doesn't address. Oh, and weekly meetings with a counselor. So, yes, it seems daunting, but acting on multiple fronts feels way better than giving a pill and hoping all will change. Not that you're doing that, but I was. Full frontal assault mom 😀

[eeyore13]

This is what happend to my son from about age 10 to 12. It is actually a very common issue with Vyvanse. We put up with it for a few years because it worked so well, until we, and he, couldn't take it anymore and just switched to Adderall. Now that we are sending him to highschool (we have homeschooled for 8 years) and he has maxed the dose a pediatrician can prescribe for Adderall, we are looking at going back to Vyvanse with a smaller "homework" dose of Adderall to help temper the letdown. Maybe that would work for you?

[Janice_H]

Yes, this is normal behavior for a child with ADHD. I have the same concerns with my 12 y.o. He seems to follow other directions but does not listen to me. Try behavior therapy. They will provide lots of great advice on how to manage the defiance and inattentiveness with directions. For now, you could try praising and rewarding your child when they are able to follow directions the first time.