I need prayer for my son that has Autism & ADHD, he is getting suspended for his behavior @ school. I'm getting ready for another IEP

[mab246375]

Meeting next week @ school. He doesn't have behaviors everyday at school, I want to continue to fight for my child. I really don't know what to do next, he has been through so much within the last year that I feel is an onset for alot of his behavior. Can anyone help me prepare what to say in this next meeting, I really feel that they will put him out of school this time?

[Aniusia]

Hello, oh I feel your pain!! Very similar situation here. How old is your son?

Mine is 14 and just in January he was suspended ISS 4 times and Out of School suspension once. He is ok at home , listens , little defiant, no more then an average teenager. He goes to school and something happens!

Just yesterday school received a parent complaint about my son harassing other students. Apparently they were fooling around, making comments about private parts etc. Boys. So today we had a meeting with the cop. Emergency PPT meeting Tuesday.

I have no advice for you. Maybe get an advocate , someone to help. Did he have FBA ? BIP?

[mab246375 in reply to Aniusia]

Thank you 🙂

[NGU-NeverGivingUp]

Greetings mab246375,

I also understand your situation from personal experience with my 13 yr old son. There is so much helpful resources and information available online but sifting through it all takes time. I'm a support advocate - meaning I research and gather specific information that will help both parents and teachers. They in turn support their child / student.

I wish I had more time for your specific case. However you may find a couple of these links helpful. This site, wrightslaw.com , is wonderful in regards to knowing more about your rights and those of your child. There are volumes of information but it can get complicated trying to sort out the specific facts that will help you right now.

What You Need to Know about IDEA 2004:

Suspending Children with Disabilities from School

wrightslaw.com/info/discipl...

Discipline: Suspensions, Expulsions & IEPs

wrightslaw.com/howey/idea.s...

The "All About IEPs" book from their site is jam packed with very helpful information. I'm reviewing the PDF version of the book currently and finding out there is so much that is NOT in my son's IEP and should be.

Regarding the behaviors themselves, there are specific parent-child methods that can be very helpful, but would need to know more about your son's situation.

Wishing you and your son a successful meeting outcome

[mab246375 in reply to NGU-NeverGivingUp]

Thank you 🙂

[anirush]

Going through this same thing with my twelve-year-old grandson. The schools say they can't tolerate certain behavior no matter what the diagnosis or IEP.

Just had a sleep study done on my grandson and found out he has severe sleep apnea. Waiting to see an ENT but everything takes time. Praying getting this under control will stabilize things.

[mab246375 in reply to anirush]

Life is so short, we spend so much time worrying & waiting for something bigger and better instead of focusing on everything around us every day. I am so grateful for being a Mom of 2 children, I am blessed beyond measure. My son has been diagnosed with Autism & ADHD when he was 3 years old. I know within my heart that when the school sees him having a meltdown, he's trying to tell someone what he needs/ wants. I just don't see all this behavior that he has at school, Reco having behavior @ school can be unbearable. The school needs to accept that there are limitations that follow with a child with a disability.Certain things could be a set off for my son. Autism in any child can be quite a puzzle but we must have a lot of patience and understand before jumping boundaries. Every day will not be a perfect 10 with any child with a disability. It would be

very helpful if there were some aspects of events in children with a disability. God knows that if Galax would have an event to help parents nurture there child with a disability it would be a blessing!

[anirush]

In a perfect world that schools would be understanding and work with you and the child. My grandson is often disruptive in class. Hes not violent. But there's constantly telling me they can't put up with this in class and he is constantly in ISS or home

[MomLeslieM]

I too understand what you're saying and where you're coming from. Know and understand your son's rights as per his IEP and also ask the school to help you understand his behaviors that are occurring at school. Are there any triggers that they 're not seeing - certain noises, a certain way someone is speaking, certain environmental issues, etc etc etc. It could be as simple as the sun coming in the window a certain way in that classroom - or as complicated as the combination of the number of kids, how hard the subject is and how the chair feels! Does the school know what he's been through in the last year? Does he see the school counselor and have a quiet escape place to go to when he feels things are too much?? If not those need to be written into his IEP -- if he has somewhere and someone to go to when he begins to feel issues coming on he can leave the classroom and go there to finish his work and settle down again. The idea of taking an advocate with you is a great idea - and in this case with the short notice even if it's a friend or another family member who can be a second set of ears would be helpful. Hang in there -- your son needs you to keep fighting for him - no one else cares about him like you do!

[mab246375 in reply to MomLeslieM]

Thank you💜🎶💜🎶

[Kat1002]

Hello. Wow.. to hear such horrific events happening "everywhere"!

I had my child at the brick & mortar school till mid 5th. Had an IEP since middle 3rd grade when he was first diagnosed ADD/ADHD. Back then when he was in the 3rd grade, he was petrified by the male teacher who i found out by teachers in close classrooms and students in the class that my son was be "harassed"! He was being yelled at and was petrified! I made a request to move him and was told there was no class to move him to! He was held back and repeated 3rd again and barely made it to 4th grade and then got even a worse teacher who use to threaten him to call home! My son got upset and told the teacher, "Go ahead and call my mom!" Again, i tried to move my son and was told the same thing!

When my son would get frazzled, he would say, " What the!!!" But never beyond "the" and never any added word! The teacher calked to complain to say he very well new my son was saying, "Hell"! I informed the teacher if he ever said ANY other word behind "the"... and he had the audacity to tell me NO! So i said that my son wasn't cussing and he says it at home too! Teacher went on to tell me that he "knew" what my son way saying! I informed the teacher that there was no way of knowing if my son never said anything derrogotory and i disagree!

By the end of 4th grade... i decided to look into other options as the school was continuing to fail my son, as well as stress him and myself as a parent! I even tried to take the issue to school district where they did absolutely nothing!!

At the beginning of 5th, i decided to let my son start and see "if" there would be a chance for change. Well, there was some good, but mostly fair to lack thereof for my son. I ended up bringing him home to homeschool. To be perfectly honest, it was a little tough at first as there is definitely adjustment to keeping him home and to focus on studying and to understand the homeschool concept. With an IEP he gets services and more one on one educational support. There is less distractions to staying focused and definitely less stress to dealing with stressful obnoxious teachers as well as no bullying from students. Its been wonderful. My son has time to getting each lesson understood and completed. He can move around as he can chunk out his work throughout the day. This past semester, now in thr 11th grade he pulled in a 3.65 GPA!

My personal thought is the fact that having a child with disabilities is only added funds for the brick and mortar schools as they are given extra funding. As for educating our kids or focusing on supporting their disabilty or behavior, our kids are just a problem in class "all the time". Teacher who are NOT there to want to have our special needs kids in class or cannot attend to them because they care for too many students at one time, gets our kids lost through it all. To me personally, a child with disabilities need more support which will not happen in public schools unless an instructor or teacher has a heart for them. And if there is a teacher at your school, they are far and few and you are definitely blessed.

There are many homeschool programs. My son is in a FREE program as it is considered a Charter School. Again, there are homeschool programs that are with tuition. There is also homeschool conventions to check out all the schools in one place. The one that comes to mind is Greater Home School Convention. They have about 4-5 conventions across the USA.

Oh, i also wanted to let you know that when i have had difficulties with my son's class or teacher, homeschool directors get involved to come to the quickest resolution. The most recent issue was the fact that my son had issues with his class schedule and special ed teacher. I had 9 (nine) administrators and child advocates working to getting it all straightened out, as well as through the weekend! I know i would get no more than one public school person to support or give "me" options as its always what fits their criteria or plans.

Hope my story and thought are helpful to anyone reading. God Bless and praying you can make better for your child!!

[mab246375 in reply to Kat1002]

Thank you God is good, very pleased with today's outcome of the meeting💜 I am one blessed Mom💜

[Hidden]

Sending a huge hug ur way. We all get it here. Just be u.. talk from the heart and know that u are ur sons biggest cheerleader. If u feel the school isn't listening or doing there job... go to the superintendent.. school board.In my case all did zip and I had to threaten to call local radio and TV stations to let everyone know our school wasn't doing there jobs..You can also mention they wont get there school funding if the right people find out that protocols aren't being followed.Its sad we have to do this but... its our kids.. and this is what u so. Best of luck to ya!

[mab246375]

Thank you, I didn't have to worry at today's meeting. God is an on time God, I am happy with how the meeting turned out.. I will always fight for either one of my 2 children, at all cost anytime... I am one blessed Mom beyond measure💜