I Need Advice with My 8 Years Old Son not Diagnose as ADHD but has the Features of it

[Fav8]

I am looking for help with my 8 years old son who's behaviours matches those with ADHD.

He is not been diagnosed and his previous school says it is more of social behaviour.

This is really of a big concern for me as it's difficult for me to know how to help him.

We receive the same report both at school and various after school club he attends.

He doesn't follow instruction

When he is told off, he could get upset and keep to himself and doesn't want to do anything again for the rest of the day.

He forgets thing often, We have to remind him to repeatedly do certain things

He is very playful, he will jump and even hut his sisters badly

He finds it hard to seat down to do his school work

He mostly complains about everyone and most things except the majority of people praise that thing.

Most of the time he doesn't have confidence in himself, he will rather wait for affirmation but sometimes he really comes up intelligently that he can speak like an adult.

I really need help with him. He has changed school like 3 times now but we get complain from his teacher nearly every day. Same complain from his other activities.

I feel so frustrated.

Any advice is appreciated

[Emommaber71]

Sounds as your intuition and what has unfolded something isnt right. I would have his pcp primary care physician refer you to a child psychologist. Have your concerns heard with them. Express you would like him to be tested for adhd and other learning disabilities. Early intervention is key. Dont let the school belittle him or you. You are his advocate. I've been where you are. Then possibly get him in with a psychiatrist who deals specifically with children. I would get on this sooner than later as school yr almost up. If your sons test prove he needs intervention help you will need to have his schools intervention specialist involved. Personally if it goes that he has adhd or something similar or any learning disabilities he will be offered a 504 or an IEP. The 504 plan I personally don't think works in the childs favor. Works for the school because they spend less $$ to help your son. Now an IEP will alot more help and resources free thru public schools limited in private school. So this takes time. Definitely take the steps to get him evaluated. Good luck.

[Fav8 in reply to Emommaber71]

Thank you so much Emomma for your candid advice.

I was initially been a typical mum, waitng to see if things will get better but it's not. It then done on me that dad has some personlity disorder too.

The school said they will observe him by Easther and if things doesn't change they will refer him

But I think as you have rightly mentioned, I will go and see the doctor ASAP and see if they can put him on the waiting list as I understand it usually takes time for the appointment to come through.

Once again, thank you.

[trinitylynn53]

First if you “have to remind him, and forgets” everything that is exactly what you will see. For personal experience not judgement! Visuals help our family greatly. Color coding tacks for the entire fam so he doesn’t feel like the black sheep. Help him be patient with himself and the most helpful tip I can personally say changed our lives is teaching him DEEP BREATHING! It’s so simple yet so very powerful. If you have Video games YOGA games are priceless for yoga is nothing short of life changing. Another #1 tip is remember he is PERFECT just the way he is. Pay attention to ur vocabulary many times we as parents point things out to them and then the problem gets bigger. Like, oh he’s so shy.” But when family is gone they have no shyness at all. #1A. Help him learn to ask for what his body&mimd need to get back on track. Does he need to run a lap around the house/gym? #1B. Water is vital for him. I hope this helps. I could go on and on. The main thing is clear consistent boundaries, with lots of POSITIVE reinforcements- LOTS. There is SO much info available please keep in mind he is a child don’t up and Except him to change his world over night. Have a conversation WITH him and help him figure out his most prominent struggle is right now. You could choose one for school and one for home. Come up with a plan that he can learn to do for himself and then how those around him can help him. He can remind himself to watch his breathing to regain control of himself in the classroom and an adult can GENTLY and DISCRETELY GIVE A VISUAL/verbal cue. Make this as fun as possible come up with “code words” that only he knows. Most importantly LOVE HIM he is not broken and hold him accountable for himself. Have him come all the way back downstairs to pick up that towel or turn that light off- because you KNOW HE CAN! Not everything you try is going to work and it’s ok. Make sure you notice when he turns that light off on his own

[Fav8 in reply to trinitylynn53]

Thank you so much for the tips. I will include them to what I already have.

I believe they will make huge difference

[Aspen797]

Have you looked into signs of high functioning autism spectrum disorder? Many of your descriptions sound as though this may be something you might wish to consider. It truly is a spectrum with some children exhibiting fewer traits and some exhibiting more. Our son is on the spectrum and also has attention difficulties. Once you have a very good evaluation—speech (pragmatic language), occupational therapy (sensory issues, executive functioning, fine motor); development pediatrician— you will have a better idea of needs and supports. A website with helpful educational supports is here: iris.peabody.vanderbilt.edu...

[Fav8]

Thanks so much. I will look on the site. Honesly I don't have Idea of what it could be.

[HeathersWellness]

It sounds like you've received some really good advice on here already and I don't want to overwhelm you. But I know several families have been helped through an organization called Child Mind Institute -- bit.ly/2SOAsbM. I hope you'll find some useful tips on their website in addition to what you've already received from some of the ADHD moms in the group.

You seem like a wonderful mother and I know your heart is hurting. I know it's difficult but try not to worry. Our energies are put to much greater use when our minds and hearts and calm. I pray your son's behavior improves dramatically with the right interventions. Be encouraged and let us know how things are going with you and your family.

[Fav8]

Aww! Thanks so much for your kind words.

I will look up the webpage you mentioned for any helpful tips.

Thanks.

Many blessings