I sometimes, ok, more than sometimes, just not wanting to care anymore. Math homework? Meh, let me just google that nyengage, wildly confusing math problem or better yet, let me just use my calculator and we'll work backward. You lost your coat again(third time this year)? Meh, here wear my sweatshirt, it's only 25 degrees and you're going inside anyway. You're crying on the couch why? Oh, because Christmas is NOT today? Meh, it'll get here sweetheart. You want to sleep in my bed again? Meh, sure, I guess at some point you'll want to be in your own bed, right? RIGHT? cut to me watching an entire season of BRIDEZILLAS from Amazon, blue screen light shading my face, dog's head in my lap.
I feel like some days my brain and honestly, my heart just doesn't want to do this anymore. I always snap back and get my wind back, but it's SO hard to be 100% "on" all the time. The outside world expects more from us, at least that's how it feels. I don't even tell my best friend about ALL the episodes because it's honestly just way too much for someone that doesn't get it.