Teen with adhd and a dad who refuses to help

[Leafsfan]

I have a 13 yr old son who was recently diagnosed with ADHD, which I have know hes had since he was probably 3 or 4. His dad and I share custody of him and his brothers and he his doing everything he can to not allow me to help my son. He refuses to allow him to take meds, wont let him continue seeing his psychologist, saying she is just going to label him and he'll end up on social disability for the rest of his life and never be able to get a job. I am trying to do everything I can so my son gets the help he needs and at every turn he is blocking me. Is there anyone put there who has had to deal with the worst ex in the entire world and still find a way to do what is needed for their child?

[hmrood]

I know exactly what you are going through. I put my son on a healing protocol almost a year ago and I can't get my ex to follow it so it has had no effect. For the life of me, I can't understand why he wouldn't want to help our son anyway he could. It's driving me nuts. I don't have any advice I can offer you. I still don't know what can be done on my end. I did speak to a lawyer and she told me once the child is 14, they have a lot of say in where they spend their time. My son is only 10 so right now there isn't much I can do. But for you, there is. Your son is a bit older and in court they take his input very seriously. Maybe talk to your son and discuss what he wants. If he feels like he wants to take the meds then maybe at this age he can take on the responsibility in taking them when he is at his dad's. Or maybe he can request to spend more time with you. Anyway, just a thought.

[Grateful17]

That sounds so terrible. I can’t believe the x says he will be on social disability! He should only wish. The government is not going to provide $$ to an ADHD person. Is there something I’m missing? If your child was profoundly brain injured I could see that happening. If my son didn’t take some tiny bit of medication in grade school he probably would’ve spent the entire time missing recess ( to catch up on work) or in the principal’s office or even just illiterate from learning nothing.

So sorry

[Leafsfan in reply to Grateful17]

My ex just a piece of shit and needs to feel in control over everything. Refuses to believe my son even has Adhd even though he was medically diagnosed back in October. My son is a very bright boy and can do anything he sets his mind to. He just cant control his outbursts or behaviour at times. His dad sees no issue and thats "just the way he is". I've been taking him to a psychologist to have an assessment done and he went and called the place and said they will no longer being seeing him without his written consent. The Dr is trying everything she can to use wording from our divorce/custody agreement to make sure my son gets what he needs but it's so difficult. I dont know what else to do. I dont have the money to take him back to court to get sole medical control.

[Hidden]

alrighty, I am also a single Mom. Luckily, my daughter's Dad doesn't see her very much. You may need to go back to court for this. It's not like ADHD is some out there diagnosis or something.

[beautyoutofashes54]

Leafsfan First if you have doctors whom have diagnosed your son, you can get a judge or some other legal person to help you. I would talk to someone at his school they may have some suggestions to get your son the help he needs. My son has ADHD, and I learned how to help him without his dad’s help. I also taught my son to not use his ADHD as an excuse for not being able to accomplish something. We found ways to help him without medication, by changing what he ate, had him get involved in things he enjoyed. Best of luck to you and if you need to talk more I am here if you would like. Beautyoutofashe54