High School Blues

[Allirose]

Hi, I am new to this site. My son who has ADHD just started high school this year. Although he’s doing well academically, he seem to be so drained physically and emotionally when he comes home from school. He doesn’t want to talk to me at all just wants to be left alone. If I do try to get him to open up, he gets upset and makes rude comments. He also seems to be more disrespectful especially to me overall. Anyone else dealing with this kind of behavior? Any suggestions?

[Aniusia]

Hi and welcome.

I have been dealing with this type of behavior forever lol My son 14, never tells me anything about school, if I ask how was school he says “ good”. Or he would say, “ mom I just came back from school, I don’t want to talk about it “ .

In conclusion, no advices from me .

[Allirose in reply to Aniusia]

Well, thanks for sharing. I guess we’re in the same boat, lol My son has never been this unwilling to talk to me as he is now that he’s in HS has yours? I’m sure having ADHD with being in high school is pretty tough. I tried just ignoring him today when he was disrespectful, told him to go to his room and think about his behavior but I think he just wants to be alone or not around me. 😩 FRUSTRATING. Have you or anyone tried counseling? If so, was it helpful?

[ChristinaR1967]

Hello,

My son is 14 and has inattentive type ADHD. He just started high school as well and so far, not bad. He doesn't share much either--dont know if that's the ADD or he just being a typical male teenager. He is currently unmedicated--his doctor prescribed Straterra for us to try and when I saw a side effect was suicidal ideation, I just couldn't do it. I hope to get some answers and try something else at his next appointment. He has adjusted pretty well so far to high school. This is the school he really wanted to go and his best friend is there, so that has given him a positive attitude. I still have to help him with organization. I go through his binder and ask questions everyday to help keep him on track. It's a struggle. I feel at this age I should be "letting go", but I can't. I worry that he can't do it on his own. My plan was to get him a 504 plan, so I do want to move forward with that. It's really hard, all I can suggest is you keep talking with him. My son comes home and takes a nap as well. I think it's draining for kids with ADHD, especially ones that are trying really hard unmedicated like my son has been doing. Overall he's happy and grades are going well for the most part, so I pray this continues.

[Allirose in reply to ChristinaR1967]

Thanks for the support!! I’m so glad that your son seems to be adjusting to high school so far and really nice that he has his best friend there with him!

My son also was diagnosed with the inattentive type of ADHD but showing more defiance lately. He was also diagnosed with OCD for a short time when we moved to a different state and a new school. His pediatrician did prescribe Strattera to take at night to help with OCD and to help him sleep and that seem to really help! We eventually weaned him off that medication and he’s now doing fine as far as the OCD and anxiety. We have also switched from Adderall to Vyvanse and that seems to be working as well. My son is also very disorganized but doesn’t seem to want any help… Always wants to do everything on his own which is good but he still unorganized and forgetful.

I’d really recommend getting your son set up with a 504 plan that way all of his teachers know about the ADHD and can make special provisions for him. I hope that helps. Hang in there!

[ChristinaR1967 in reply to Allirose]

Hi there,

We tried Vyvanse last school year and it was awful. By the end of the day, he was irritable and exhausted. I'd try to ask him how his day went and he'd snap at me. He would come home and go to sleep, it was terrible. The school he was at had tremendously long days 8-5!, but also I learned that Vyvanse has something call a "Vyvanse crash". Basically, after taking the medicine and it being in the system for several hours, towards the end of it the person gets worn out and can be very irritable. The medicine wasn't helping with his school work and we stopped taking it. Once he was off of it he was my happy boy again. I'm very saddened and dismayed with the medications out here. Maybe the Vyvanse is causing your son to have the sullen behavior and fatigue? We will keep looking for meds. I keep hope there's something out there to help him.

[Kiandra]

What is he taking. My son is on folican 15mg and he was withdrawn. Not disrespectful but he's not a teen. There are side effects like the one you referring to and lost of apppite.

[Allirose in reply to Kiandra]

My son is on Vyvance. We’ve had to increase his dosage twice as he seemed to have tolerated the other dosages. Yes, I guess maybe these behaviors are some of the side effects of the meds. He was on Concerta with Straterra before with same side effects. 😩 His behavior and grades are great when in school so can’t complain about that. Guess just have to deal with it.

[anirush]

My thirteen-year-old grandson's counselor just keeps saying this is teenage boy. He is actually doing really well on intuniv, Wellbutrin, and Seroquel. When he's in the mood he's happy and talkative. But after school all he wants to do is lock himself in his room and be left alone. Hard to adjust to, but as long as he's keeping his grades up we are trying not to complain.

[Allirose in reply to anirush]

Thanks for letting me know about the meds. My son is on Vyvance which really seems to be helping with his attention and hyperactivity while he’s at school and so far, his grades have been great! It’s just when he gets home and his meds start to wear off that I have a problem. His behavior has always been better in school than at home though.

[wendyks]

I find when I enforce my 13 you’d phone plan, we do better. When you’re screen free and someone says - hey want to come ____ with us? The invitation is more palatable.

Also we did have a convo yesterday about my husbands daily “what did you learn today” I also feel it’s too much pressure, feels like a quiz. My daughter said - just ask me questions about regular stuff like mom does. That surprised me because I didn’t feel like I was that much more ahead in this conversation game! I do find that I have an advantage because I drive her around and if she’s laughing at something funny on her phone, I can be like, “what?” And the stories come out.

[Allirose in reply to wendyks]

Thanks for the advice! Those are both good suggestions and I think I’ll try them with my son. He does LOVE his electronics and I can’t have any kind of conversation when he’s on them. I know he doesn’t want to talk about school at all right after school is out... think he just needs to unwind so I’m trying to get better about not bombarding him with questions right after school. I’m sure trying to talk to him about something that he’s interested in may make him want to talk more with me.

Will keep trying. Thanks!!

[anirush]

We talked to my grandson's behavioral counselor and she said a lot of this is teenage boy. But if we plan a family outing like to the zoo, and give him plenty of notice, then he should be required to come.