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[fredsmummy]

Hi all,

Im Zoe and I am a single mother from London. I found this great site as feel at rock bottom and could really do with talking to some people who are going through similar. I struggled to find any sites liked this in the UK

My second son is age 4 and has not yet had a diagnosis but I have known for a very long time. We are in the process and nursery have called in early intervention as he is needing 1 to 1 support at all times. Im currently having to pick him up from school at 11am as they do not have enough staff to support him until we get some funding.

This is challenging as I work at the same school

Going through a divorce too so really is all a mess at the moment. The separation appears to have made his symptoms much worse

Would love to chat to some of you!

Zoe

[ElinaK35]

Hi, sorry to hear about your struggles. What are some of his behaviors? Once your son gets a diagnosis, do you have accommodations and IEPs in schools like we do in the US? How do you feel about medication once it is suggested by the neurologist/psychologist? You are facing a lot right now, so don't forget to take care of YOU so that you are able to tackle everything. Make sure you get that time to recenter and compose yourself, and this site is a great resource for advice and also just venting when feeling extra frustrated.

[fredsmummy in reply to ElinaK35]

Thank you so much for your reply Elina!

So, he is extremely hypoer active, he cannot sit still for long, he has emotional outbursts and is over sensitive. at school he is mostly in time out and he has one teacher that goes and does activities with him as he is mostly unable to join the class. lunch time is challenging as he just runs up and down. Now there is a concern because he is throwing things at people. he is also hitting and kicking adults.

Here we have educational health care plans which we have applied for but his actual diagnosis is going to take up to a year as the waiting list for the NHS is so long

Thank you so much for getting back to me, its great to hear from somebody.

x

[ElinaK35 in reply to fredsmummy]

You are very welcome we are all here to support one another. Tell me, while you wait for the diagnosis (a year is a very long time), are you at all able to get him into some sort of behavioral therapy on your own? Our son sees a therapist once a week at a community center near by and it is very affordable and we just pay out of pocket. I'm assuming without diagnosis they can't put him on any medication right? That is very tough. Sounds like he has impulse control issues which is very common. Our daughter has the kind of ADHD where she can't sit still or concentrate and medication is helping a lot with that. The only other thing I can recommend is looking into natural ways to try and calm him down. Have you done research on CBD oil? Also ADHD kids are deficient in Magnesium... if he likes baths consider adding two cups of Epsom Salt to his baths. You can also consider adjusting his diet and removing dyes and gluten and possibly artificial sources of sugar as much as possible. It's great he is able to get that one on one in school... is there anyone in school knowledgeable about ADHD and ODD? Maybe the school can provide more help while you are on the waiting list... a year is a very long time and without help he might get worse. I wish you lots of strength and reach out any time with questions.

[fredsmummy in reply to ElinaK35]

Thank you so much! I will look into CBD oil? He is taking omega 3, also someone said to try coffee? which didnt work. But ill try anything! yes, it means he cant get medication until diagnosis. We are trying behaviour therapy at home and at school. Things got bad suddenly, almost overnight. He is talking about missing daddy alot but he has become so violent I dont recognise him and i see people at school staring with judgement faces! im grateful for your replies, thank you so very much x

[WendyKirkpatrick in reply to fredsmummy]

My son is 30 now. We had more than our fair share of heart ache for our much loved son. We had to fight the school district on meds because they made our son so sick to his stomach. If you limit carbs and sugars and try Vitamin B, it can't hurt and may help with the behavior. Doctors and therapists usually just want you to give them the medication. I have no problem with a small amount of medication combined with special education assistance and behavior modification, but we felt like we were being handled by drug pushers. We found that the best solution was to read books on behavior modification techniques and warmly reward them for the good things that they do. These kids get so little positive reinforcement, only complaints about their behavior. There is a response from an individual at this site with detailed information on medications and vitamins that could help enormously and this person has the condition. I have a book on createspace.com and Amazon.com called "I have ADD and I'm Proud to Be Me." Please don't think I'm hawking a book. My profit is about $2.00 per book so I won't go on a cruise if you buy one on line. I wrote it from the perspective of a young boy with A.D.H.D. (like my son) since I never was able to find a book that presented the issue from the CHILD's perspective. I found that if you can walk in another person's shoes, you will somehow know what is right for your child of any age. You know your child better than anyone else and your love and support and special techniques will help in time. It is an uphill battle and very slow, but have faith. My biggest heartbreak was his problem making friends. Kids without any condition can be cruel and so can their parents. I wish you and your family the best of luck, and write any time. Wendy

[EJsMom]

My third son has adhd and odd. Like you, I always knew he was different from about 6months old. My ex and I separated when he was about 4.

And it made things a lot worse for my son. The instability and different routine was hard and he would get very angry. I had to just talk to him as best I could and tell him everything would be ok. That I loved him and would always be there for him etc... He cried every time I took him back to Dads.

It’s been 10 years now, he’s much happier. He still has a lot of issues in school but he has learned to talk out his anger.