Newbie: Hi all, I have an 8yr old... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Hi all,

I have an 8yr old daughter, we have felt something isn’t quite right for a long time now and she has been under a paediatrician for a while now.

Two weeks ago she was diagnosed with adhd, i feel there is something but she doesn’t seem to be hyperactive all the time.

I went into school to discuss this with the senco and have spoke to her teacher and they don’t believe she has adhd.

The doctor said that she adhd but more on the lines of add. Her attention is poor, she is very easily distracted, her memory is terrible. She doesn’t recognise danger, gets very angry very easily, she doesn’t sleep and the list goes on.

Has anyone else had this.

I really feel at a loss, my eldest daughter has autism and pda and they didn’t believe her diagnosis at first either at the school.

I didn’t want a label for my child, i just wish for her to get the best support and help needed for a bright future.

Thankyou for listening and any help would be greatly appreciated.

Natalie

11 Replies
willandgrace profile image
willandgrace

Hello! My daughter has Inattentive ADHD so never was hyperactive, but had trouble focusing. She could never read a book or even watch a movie- I just thought she wasn't trying hard enough- I finally had her evaluated when she was 18! And still, most people don't believe she has ADHD because she doesn't have all those typical symptoms- so don't let what teachers or anyone else says bother you. I believe my daughter has ADHD and the meds help her focus, so I don't care what other people say or think. Did you have your daughter formally evaluated? I had a psychologist and learning specialist evaluate her. I have their report to show teachers/professors who might not believe it. Most people are SO ignorant about ADHD. It's extremely complex. And I agree about no labels- All I want is for my daughter to focus when she needs to, and to function as best as she can. I wish I had had her diagnosed earlier because she went through elementary and high school without paying attention except for when she was in math class. She missed a lot of information. She is now in college, taking Vyvanse, and focusing. She is flourishing. I hope you find your way through this.

Hi Natchid and Welcome! My daughter will be 12 in February and was diagnosed bipolar and ADHD last fall. All the studies show that ADHD in girls is wildly underdiagnosed. Girls are much less likely to display behaviors in the classroom that lead teachers to believe they are ADHD. They do not overly appear to be hyperactive. Instead, they are usually well behaved but inside they have absolutely no idea what is happening around them. They will push themselves extra hard to try and do well and usually the ADHD is expressed in depression or anxiety behaviors. Agree with willandgrace. For YEARS I just thought my daughter didn't want to do the work, but she was just struggling SO HARD. It is very complex for all children. The not sleeping to me is a really big red flag. I can't suggest highly enough that you see a pediatric psychiatrist and get some testing done to see what is going on. I know that none of us wants to "label" our children, but honestly, it is was it is. I don't think of my child as labeled any more than if she had diabetes or anything else. It isn't her fault, she can't help most of the behavior and I just need to help her in any way I can. Yes she can be very manipulative and the most difficult thing is figuring out how to handle of it at once so HUGS!

My daughter is on medication for both her bipolar and the ADHD. Therapy for both of us was the best thing we ever did. The anger and the anxiety and having to navigate all of this is REALLY hard, everyone here has LOTS of ideas, but I really can't say enough that getting a pedicatric psychiatrist involved with medication and therapy is a lifesaver!

Now a days they don't call it add instead it is ADHD inattentive

My son is more ADHD inattentive at school and at home he is ADHD hyperactive and impulsive

Kiandra profile image
Kiandra

Hey, I found doing my own research and watching my child and seeing it for my self. If you choose to medicate hopefully she only has to take a morning pill a hour before school( my 7 yr old daughter has to take a afternoon pill as well) and it's y'all secret. If the school don't see it oh well, they not specialized in that field. Good luck. Now it's a emtional journey trying to find the right meds. But to for my family it was worth it. I have three that has add adhd close to the same. All i know is they have the symptoms what you discribe. And if you google it you'll see them.

Janice_H profile image
Janice_H

Hello, from what you describe, it sounds as though she definitely has ADHD. The best route to take is to have her fully evaluated by someone who specializes in these disorders, not just a general physician or pediatrician. A teacher is not qualified to diagnose or suggest your daughter does not have ADHD.

paradoxlive profile image
paradoxlive

Hi! As I was reading your post I couldn't help but wonder if ASD might be a possible component. My son is very similar to your daughter in that he does not recognize danger and his anger is intense and very sudden like a switch was flipped. My son definitely has ASD and SPD. Working with an OT on his sensory issues has been very helpful as has his teacher's increased understanding of his experience. He definitely looks like he's got ADHD but it's possible he has both and also possible that all of the ADHD symptoms he exhibits are actually attributable to ASD. I'm not all about the acronyms either but I couldn't help my son until I knew what was different about him. We're still in the testing phase for IEP and my husband and I are trying out different practitioners for him - and us. We need to learn how to parent a child with ASD and SPD. The treatment he's had for those, the OT, has been by far the most successful treatment for him. I even turned a guest room into a sensory room - best thing ever! As my son has been using it regularly, his angry outbursts have reduced in frequency quite a bit.

You've had experience with this but each child is different in how their differences manifest. If you can get your pediatrician to refer you to a neuropsychologist for an assessment that would be awesome. For us, it started with asking for a referral for Occupational Therapy. I'd come across Dyspraxia and I saw it in my son quite clearly. That's what I took to his pediatrician to get the referral to OT. Our OT assessed him and after working with him, suggested he be assessed for ASD. If you're lucky enough to get a neuropsych eval, I suggest you research the neuropsychologists you can use. Some are better at seeing ASD in "high functioning" older kiddos. It's subtler - I can't get the school psychologist to see it no matter how many reports and specific examples I give.

Trust your gut and fight for assessment. I know a lot of people start with the school but they don't even see the ADD in your daughter so I'd try to get a specialist your insurance covers, if possible.

Thankyou so much everyone, you are a very helpful supportive group and I appreciate it. The paediatrician is also querying asd but they don’t double diagnose here, it has to be done by another proffesional.

I’m sure the dr said it was innatentive adhd, it is reassuring to read that you all as parents recognise that she has adhd yet the senco doesn’t.

She told me she had been filling out paperwork for the children in the school with adhd all that day and she would never say that she fits any of those boxes. She said she scored low in the questionaire but not in the concentrating area but surely thats what matters the most in school x

Ugh...where do you live natchid?

in reply to

Birmingham, England

limenavy profile image
limenavy

If your child were diagnosed with something like diabetes, would you feel the same way about the label? I never liked the idea of labels like ADHD, either. A couple weeks ago, though, my therapist was able to give my own struggles a label (not ADHD)...she said something like, let's give it a name. That "name" doesn't feel like a bad thing to me...it feels like hope and power. Now I feel like I can get the support and help I need to live my own successful life. I also feel better about my children's labels...they're just names that give us information about how to be the best parents we can be for our children and ensure they have the proper care.

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