When Grandparents become Parents

[Abolita]

I feel blessed to have found my way to this Forum through CHADD. Thank you all for sharing what is obviously a life altering trial. Some of the comments are heart rending and I pray that you can find the strength and the insight you need to meet your own particular set of challenges. Our 7 year old ADHD granddaughter is coming to live with us...permanently. I'm reaching out through every avenue I can, so that I can stay informed and receive support through the challenges ahead. Ever since our granddaughter was a baby, she's struggled with mental health issues. I've found that there is a stigma associated with Mental Health and it's difficult to find someone with an empathetic ear. (so if your reading this post...thank you) Our grandbaby hits several of the 'markers' for autistic spectrum disorder and it's taken years of suffering to get anyone to diagnose her. (although, once she started School her issues become more noticeable and a diagnosis was forced) She's been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD. Most of her Teachers, her Parents, her local Community and even her Doctors have thrown their hands up. She's only in First Grade and she is in CRISIS (she almost had to repeat 1st Grade). She's been suspended from school on multiple occasions and displays the inattention and impulsiveness (not hyperactivity) of ADHD. I've no doubt that she is being bullied in her after school program and she responds violently when provoked. When I asked her how she felt about coming to live with us, she said, "Happy...so, so happy Grama." We've always done well with her when she comes to visit (we live 10 hours away), but that's only for a max of 3 weeks at a time. We love her dearly and we've always seen the best and the beauty in her. We want to advocate for her and support her toward living a productive and full life. When she's with us she seems to blossom and become a gentler version of herself. I have no disillusions, that after the 'honeymoon' period, there will be challenges, but we're hoping and praying that we can provide her with what she needs to believe in herself. I've carefully chosen her Doctor, her School and a Nutritional Program. We have a relaxed schedule, which seems to suit her. (we are working 'retired') She's off meds right now, because of heart palpitations and is currently seeing a Pediatric Cardiologist. I plan on supplementing with DHA & EPA, GABA and Pro/Prebiotics until we can get her established back on the appropriate medication. I could really use some helpful suggestions on Reading material, additional online support, suppliments, nutrition and any processes that we can implement. And of course, the wisdom and insight of your own experiences. Thank you so much!

[Pennywink]

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles - and glad to hear your Granddaughter is getting a fresh start!

My 6 year old son has Tourette w/ ADHD Inattentive/ Impulsivity (not hyperactive.) Besides caffeine, we haven't noticed dietary changes make a difference for us, besides caffeine (helps the ADHD, but possibly makes the Tourette worse.) Early bedtime / sleep & behavioral changes have been the biggest help to us.

Here are two resources I have found to be the most useful. Both are Dr. Russell Barkley, whom you'll probably see mentioned elsewhere on this site.

The first is school accommodations, but adapting them for home has been a game-changer:

russellbarkley.org/factshee...

Also, this video is long, but such a great source of info:

youtu.be/SCAGc-rkIfo(Not working as expected?)

[Grandma01]

Congratulations for stepping up and supporting your granddaughter. Your right after the honeymoon period things may change for better hopefully.

I am raising my grandson 6 yo. Though not completely on my own but it often feels that way and to some may look that way.

I call myself his primary caregiver because I'm not working right now so I too have a lot to be to dedicate to him, so we do a lot of activities around the community such as library programs, visiting museums, swimming at the local rec center and skating.

I go to the cultural events when they have free days and I don't have to worry about the price of admission and I look for other free discounted programs.

My favorite websites to visit is:

UNDERSTOOD.ORG and ADDITUDE.ORG They both offer great advice on the various cognitive disorders, IEP's, IDEA, 504 PLAN, various tests and so much more. I found my greatest strength in this website healtunlocked because can hear from real people who live with these exceptional children who have been through the same struggles. Professional video and websites can tell about what your seeing and give it a fancy name and title and tell how it should be handled.

Wow!! I'm so excited for you.

[Wapsisandy]

My heart goes out to you!!! We are in much the same situation, except that my daughter died suddenly at 42. We have had my grandson (now adopted) since he was three..just now getting him on medication and he is 9. Just didn't want to put him on drugs but now because how he is socially we have no choice. It is a tough road but time flies. Many blessings watching them grow!