Rough nights

[Fiercemama130]

So lately my 3 year old has been needing to take melatonin to go to sleep at night as he is so off the walls when he gets tired he would stay up until almost 11 which is unacceptable. He has also been wanting me to rock him to sleep which I must admit I love the cuddle time. He is never able to sit long enough to cuddle any other time of the day. Tonight however when I was rocking him he was fighting against it. He kept calling for daddy and when I wouldn't give in to it (if we give in to the switching it's a never ending back of forth between the two of us lasting for 2 minuets each and stretching as long as he can get away with it) he proceeded to yell no mama want daddy and slap me in the face. This act sadly is nothing new to me as his ODD characteristics continue to surface. I know I can't take it personally but it is so hard not to! Is there anyone out there who can help me keep it together and not take it personally? Everything I read keeps saying don't take it personally but never really gets into how you are supposed to do that when your everything, your world, the light of your life is adamantly physically violent to you! It breaks my heart into a million pieces every time he does it and he is still to young to understand the effects of his words and actions. He doesn't understand what emotionally hurt is. Please help!

[Shotsymama]

Have you tried putting him to bed together? Then there will be no rejection of you, no hurt feelings. And yes, everyone says your the adult, your supposed to understand that he doesn't mean it... but, your also a human. Wait till he tells you he doesn't love you for the first time! If he's anything like my rebellious little one it'll happen eventually lolAnyway, you should try reading in his room together as a family, then rock him a little, give hugs and it's off to sleep.

At least then he'll see you're on the same team and can't do the back and forth.

Also, i know it will be hard (because I had to do it too!) but have you considered not rocking him till he is all the way asleep?

I used to do it with our son, but then realized that I had almost no adult time to myself at night. So, I started rocking him till he got sleepy... then (and this is the hard part) saying goodnight and that I'd check on him in a little bit. It took over a week of crying, screaming, fit throwing, can I have a drink?, I have to pee, I can't sleep... before he realized this was the new thing and we were sticking to it. It sucked! I won't sugarcoat it. We also had to do it in the middle of the night, since he would get up in the middle of the night and get into bed with us EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

Good luck ❤️

[Fiercemama130 in reply to Shotsymama]

We have tried putting him down together and when we can it works but dad works nights 4 days a week and it's tough at that point. He used to be an amazing easy sleeper! We would give him his water in bed tuck him in say goodnight and that would be it. He would play for about 30 minutes and then crawl into his bed to sleep. Then it started to turn into 1 hour then 1.5 then it was too late. He requested rocking completely out of the blue! We have never had to rock him to sleep even as an infant. I don't know where he got it. I don't rock all the way to sleep either. Hes been ok with that. But I need to get out of this rocking business. I feel horrible though because the 2 times I haven't rocked him he has woken up 2 hours later with a nightmare screaming no mama leaving with his eyes still closed! I'll try the bedtime story tonight though and say no more rocking. Let's hope it works! Thanks!

[Fiercemama130]

UPDATE- instead of rocking him I read 2 stories and said goodnight. He was a little upset but I stuck to it. As of right mow he is making his noises that he makes when he is falling asleep. In about 10 minutes he will be out for the night! Going to try this everymoght as his new routine. Here's hoping tonight isn't just a fluke!

[Shotsymama]

Great! I'm so glad you got to get him to sleep without a struggle...and you got some mommy time to yourself.. so important!

I feel like the longer I'm a parent the more I realize everything is a phase! Sometimes that has to be my mantra for days, or I just feel I'll go bananas!

Hope you guys have another successful evening 😊

[Fiercemama130 in reply to Shotsymama]

Thank you!!!

[Grandma01]

Try soft music or lallubye music

[BVBE]

I have a 7 year old son who has diagnosed ADHD and ODD. He used to yell me on a daily bases that he hated me and wished I died when he was a baby, would call me the worst mother in the world EVER and was extremely aggressive and violent towards me. I know the feeling of deflation and utter defeat. After awhIle I would just 'agree' and say "Yes, you are right. I am horrible. How do you stand me?". They are right, it isn't anything person, it is just their 'words in the moment'. If you know you are doing your best, then please don't beat yourself up too much. AND... good for you that you are not in denial that he may be developing ODD symptoms at his age. They younger you can address the better off your baby will be.

[Fiercemama130]

Thank you for your words. It's just so hard to hear them say things like that. A lot of the time he is my happy boy. Laughing and begging for "more tickles" but when he gets aggressive it hurts so much more.