Our 16 year old, any new ideas would be appreciated.

[SparkyAmadeus]

Our 16 year old has a learning disability, ADHD and depression. We have finally found a great school where he is not only learning, but has, for the first time in his life, real friends. He struggles with extreme black and white thinking whether it is at home or at school: I'll never be able to do this, I wasn't nice to that kid and now he hates me, I was rude to my mom, and she'll never forgive me. Recently, he got really down on himself and cut up the back of his hand. He's not in a locked ward with other kids struggling with dangerous depression.

We are in the process of changing his medication and this program is a good one. I"m just wondering what else we can do. He lost interest in life and his future.

[anirush]

My daughter cut herself a lot when she was in high school. She always said it help to relieve stress. She is an adult now and hasn't done it for years and surprisingly has no scars from it. It is awful to deal with though.

Is he on any medication for anxiety?

[Echo27]

Maybe help him to realize that while his feelings are valid, when he has those extreme thoughts to remind himself that the depression is lying to him. That has helped me. And "don't believe the bully in your head." Wish I had had this understanding when I was his age. I just got called lazy, unmotivated, disrespectful(for spending hours trying to do things I was told or required like get the dishes done because it was like trying to walk through quicksand.) And a belittling "you must like blah blah blah since you're taking so long" meant to get me to hurry up but only made me feel worse and beat myself up more.

[Pajamasam36]

Our situation sounds a lot like mine! I am reading a book calledTaking charge of ADHD

The complete authoritative guide for parents by Russell A Barkley PhD

It has helped me so much. The first think I learned is children who need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways.

Second aha moment was ADHD is not so much a focus I g problem and a not wanting to do what you don’t want to do problem.

This helped me see my son in a new light. As I sit here typing he has thrown a stuffed animal at my head he has called me a stupid idiot he has refused to take his pills . If I can get his pills into him I like him much more. Ability has helped with his defiance. Zoloft has helped with his anxiety. Metthalenfenidate

Has helped with his learning new tasks and intunive helps with his shout out Tourettes and hyper activity. It has been 5 years of Building the perfect medicine to help him. Keep up the good work you can do this! Your the best hope for a Bright future for your child.