What to do?

[Chelsie_]

Hi my name is Chelsie, and my son is 7 years old and he was diagnosed with ADHD over the summer and it’s been a struggle, he is a great kid, but I’m really having a hard time with this. There are so many things to think about. He is on medication right now and it is really helping but I am at war with myself, I didn’t want to put him on medication to began with because I didn’t want to alter him but I also want the best for him and if putting him on meds will help him in school, which it seems to be doing, then of course I will do it. Because we live in Fairbanks, Alaska there are very little resources here to help. I also do not know if I want him to know to much about the fact that he has ADHD because then he might think that something is wrong with then and that is the last thing I want. How do I help him without hurting him more in the long run?

[andileemh]

I understand how you feel about telling your son, we want to protect our children and not make them feel badly about themselves.

We don't use the term ADHD with our 7 year old son, but mostly because we are still waiting to get official evaluation. However, with all of our children we have talked about how people's brains are all wired differently, it's what makes us who we are. I think being open with your son about his ADHD would be the best option. It's possible that by not talking about it or addressing it with him openly could make him feel like it's something about himself that he has to hide or that others won't accept about him. I will never claim to be any kind of expert, on anything really, but in my experience honest talks about something often help people better understand themselves and others, especially for children.

Our older daughters often get frustrated with their brother and the issues he has, but I have explained to them that his brain is different than theirs, just as how they think and feel is unique to them and I try to get them to see how frustrating it must be for him sometimes when his brain and body just CAN'T calm down the way theirs do. It's not something wrong with him, it's just something different about him. I have even told them that when I was younger I suffered from depression and that it was simply something about my brain that I couldn't control. But because I didn't know how to explain it to anyone and my parents (who were really amazing and loving parents in general) didn't want to really focus on it in order to not make me feel more upset and stressed about it I didn't know how to deal with it. I know if they knew how often I contemplated suicide in my teen years that they would be horrified and wish that they had talked to me about it more and really involved me in a discussion about how I was feeling and what was going on with me. So my long depressing rant is really trying to say, don't ignore it and push it aside. Talk to your son often and calmly about what's going on with him and how he feels about it. If you approach it as just a part of who he is, not as something wrong with him and not the whole of who he is, then he will be able to see it that way too.

You love your son and that will always be best for him

[ha11 in reply to andileemh]

i also have decided to start evaluation for official diagnose

does he take any medicine

my son also stuggles at school also he have no frnds circuit or family nearby by a littlr brother is blessing

[Chelsie_ in reply to ha11]

Yes he takes vyvanse, it really seems to help, the one thing I have to say about it is about 2 hours into his medication if he is not at school, if it’s on the weekend or during summer I try to make sure he has some paper or legos because he gets super hyper focused in building or drawing so I always make sure he has something to do.