ADHD Parents Together

I’m a mom of an ADHD and ODD child!

Hello everyone! My son is 6 turning 7 this Thursday Dec 7. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. What can I say! Me and my husband are doing it alone and believe me is an emotional wreck. We have him on Adderall, we didn’t want him to take pills but now is a must. I hurt everyday and I wonder if I’m doing the right thing for him. He is such a good kid with wonderful feelings we love him so much. But he has those outbursts and we can’t control him. We have been to three psychologists in less than a year and we have tried everything, you name it. As a mom it was hard to accept it at first I battled it, I honestly thought that it was my fault, “

Maybe I screamed at him too much, maybe I’m doing it all wrong”. He started therapy for conduct and speech.

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You are doing the right thing. I feel the same way about my 7 year old son who was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Feeling guilty that I yell at him too much is awful. But it is so hard trying to work, raise other children, and just manage all the details of your life when you have a child that can be so uncooperative - whether it is their fault or not. It's impossible not to lose your patience sometimes, so don't beat yourself up about that. Regarding medication, I used to sort of judge parents who put their kids on medication. Now I know better. These kids need help to function in ways that people without ADHD take for granted. To me, it is no different than a diabetic taking insulin shots or a nearsighted person wearing glasses. Nobody would judge those people for using the extra tools they need to function in life, and this is no different. My son started taking Focalin two weeks ago and the side effects were not good. We took him off it for a week and he just started Vyvanse over the weekend. So far I think it is working but we need to give it some time. Hang in there and don't give up. And don't feel bad about getting frustrated sometimes. You are human and are entitled to have a breaking point too.

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Thank you for taking the time to write to me !

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My husband and I are in the same situation with our 9-year-old grandson as you are with your son. ADHD is not the main problem for us, but his defiant attitude when he doesn’t get his way. He has been on two different medicines, Vyvanse and Concerta, which helped him at school but not with his behavior at home. Our most recent challenge is that this year he started refusing to take his medicine or faked taking it so we did not know whether he took it or not. I think he is getting along at school fairly well at the moment, but we still struggle with controlling him at home. Like you, we are very overwhelmed and feel that we have failed. We took him for behavioral counseling and therapy last year for 7 months, but we had very limited results. Recently we have taken him to another counseling center, and we met with their psychiatrist first. It did not help us really, because her solution was to prescribe an antidepressant (Wellbutrin) for him instead of trying a different ADHD medicine. We had the genetic testing done that was supposed to let us know which meds would work best for him, but it was pointless because basically all of them were compatible. After we read about the side effects of Wellbutrin, one of which is an increased risk of seizures, we decided that we cannot risk giving it to him because his mother has a seizure disorder. We called the doctor and explained our concerns, but she said that it was safe to give it to him since he had never had a seizure himself. We cannot agree with her on this, so we are going to try VAYARIN, which is a natural option that is supposed to help alleviate ADHD symptoms. The results that other people have had from it, however, are not encouraging. We are basically right back where we started. We purchased Dr. Russell Barkley’s book, YOUR DEFIANT CHILD, which has some good information, but his theory is that ODD occurs when parents do not know that discipline for children with ADHD needs to be approached differently, which is true. We did not know that our grandson had ADHD until he was almost 5, and we did the best we could based on our knowledge at the time— which was obviously wrong and not very effective. I hope we can get some help from the counseling center soon, because we are very discouraged right now. It does help to know that others are going through the same things and that we are not alone in this.

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Right now my son is eight years old he is taking Adderall Xr in the morning and Adderall after lunch. In my opinion I think the second dose is working but the morning he is still his hyper self. He is was diagnosed in spring. It's still all new for me I'm on waiting list for a behavioral therapist. He has moods.

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You just said my story. My son has the same diagnosis, will be 7 next week and started taking Adderall 3 weeks ago. I, too, wonder what I did and if I caused his ODD. He has violent outburst and sometimes they last for hours. I am tired too. I feel like I have aged 10 years the past 12 months. Good luck to you Mama.

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Thank you for taking your time to write!

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Me too!

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Hello Klau07, Im in a very similar situation, raising my 9 year old grandson since he was 9 months old. He does have ADHD with ODD and the ODD gets worse when he doesnt get his own way or his refusal to follow directions and begins to yell & scream...he hits, kicks, punches walls, throws objects at walls, has destroyed most walls in his room ....ever since he was two there had been a struggle between he and his other 9 yr. cousin. & the struggle continues!! anyway, with his trouble with focusing and inattention in school I took him to a psychiatrist, who immediately put him on adderall and prozac ....after two months, the dosage for adderall increased & two months later increased again...until I noticed his mouth will twitch, Im not certain when it began but I was not happy about this. He is a beautiful boy with a beautiful face..I explained to his dr. & his comment was well its a "Stimulant", its to be expected, but I was not aware of that...I took him off med. immediately, & of course his adhd has become worse in school...The ODD has been for years, except I thought the behavior was just 'temper tamtrums', except again , only displayed at home. He will be going for a Neurological checkup this week. I do not know what to expect, I do know there is no cure all for either of these disorders, but some type of relief for both he and I would be nice.

mare, nanny

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Believe me when I say that you are not feeling anything that the rest of us have not felt. I blame myself every day. I tell myself I am failing as a mother every day. But, let’s be honest... we’re not. We are doing our best and doing what is best our kids. I am about to go to the pediatrician tomorrow to start talking about meds because we are at the same point. Our son needs to function... he can’t live like this anymore and neither than we. This was the hardest realization for me to make. To realize that I don’t think we can do it without the meds. However, we all have to do what is best for our kids. You are doing great! These children, while they are amazing, are hard to raise and we need help. Don’t doubt yourself. You are his mother and you know what is best for him.

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Thank you for your warm words!

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I too have a child with ADHD and ODD and share the same thoughts and feelings as others. We are on Vyvanse and it is great during the school day but morning and night are a struggle. We found, along with doctors advice, that ADHD medicine works better with lots of high protein foods and when child is not hungry based on the brain function. I always ask myself, when did he eat last when he’s acting unusually terrible, and give him a yogurt or other food. Also with the parent counseling we’ve received find what motivates him or her, with our son it’s movies, video, and time with his cat. We always have that as a reward for good behavior and ignore the bad behavior. It’s opposite of how you would normally raise your child, ignoring bad behavior, but our counselor says positive reinforcement is the best and walk away from the bad. It’s super tough but we are seeing results and he’s smiling, feeling confident and less outbursts. Don’t feel bad, our child was breaking our marriage apart he was so difficult but with parental ADHD counseling, we at least feel we have tools and a plan

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Thank you, it is tough

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I completely understand the marriage part. It has gotten to the point that I have literally told people that my husband and I are not going to make it through this. We have weeks where we are just at each other’s throats. However, I am finding that the more help we are getting and the more support we have, the better things are getting. You never think how hard this can be on a family until it is your own.

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My son is still very little (3) But he just had an evaluation that said hes approaching the diagnosis of ADHD and ODD. Every day is a struggle and I am lost as to what to do. Compounded with the defiance is the terrible threes and a speech delay which we are starting to get on track. He has a magnificent speech therapist who has helped him make significant progress in speech in a short amount of time. I can only do so much to control my patience and remember it's not his fault. Trying to be calm and ignoring the bad behavior is difficult to say the least! I'm lost and have no idea what to do even though I've read what I should be doing. I empathize with your struggles but we need to stay strong! We are doing everything right!

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My baby is 3 also and I'm having a hell of a time trying to find someone that will listen to me and do something to help in whatever way they can .I'm exhausted.I just need someone to see how she behaves when she's with us in comparison to when someone else is babsitting she's the perfect child and then we hell girl when we have her all the time.I can't understand what's going on if I could just get someine to evaluate her and tell me if it's adhd or add or whatever just wirk with me don't keep passing the buck snd send me to the next person.Deal with me.What is the criteria you need before you can see her.I 'm sorry for venting but I'm tired of just being told they can't help me and here's a number try these people!!! Aren't psychiatrist supposed to help you all they do is keep pushing you to somebody else somebody else!!!

1refhatdiva@gmail.com

Tomorrow I'll be calling someone else lets see what they tell me!

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The problem is our babies are young and they do not like to diagnose this early. I was able to get an evaluation because my little one is in speech therapy and his therapist recommended it. If there is an early intervention program near you that may be where to go first. Im sorry this has been a battle for you. It was a battle for us for a while too. Just know that at some point you will find someone that will listen to you. You are doing everything right!

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Hello! Thank you for writing! Well I’ve done lots of research about my son’s situation and I’ve come to conclusion that some kids are misdiagnosed and some kids show sings of ADHD or ADD but they don’t na have that neurological disorder. I think you should evaluate her yourself as a mom. I want you to talk to her and see if she looks at you, if she can concentrate, if she can have a conversation with ya. If she does I do think what you guys should do is change tactics with discupline. I’m not a psychologist but with the experience I got so far this is what I can tell you. Sometimes people confuse a neurological disorder with behavior , I do know that if you leave an ADHD child untreated it could lead to other conduct disorders . Therefore, if I was you make observations. See if she can sit still watching tv, if she is fidgeting, things like that. I’m doing a Bachelors degree in psychology and my goal is to help parents and help children cope with situations . My sons case have made me a stronger mom even if I have my doubts. But I’m here for every single one you moms out there that are going through this. Keep me posted and hey go with your instincts ok!

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