ADHD, lost, scared, life seems to be repeating itself

[pmarkey]

Im a single Dad, with two small children. My son who is 9 most likely has adhd, and i just need someone to talk to, he is so loving, and so hyper and so inattentive to anything that he doesnt want to do. Reminds me of myself, I've been trying to help but its been to much lately with homework and now that he is in 4th grade, i dont want him to just fall off, and im honestly just scared about his future, and medication, which honestly , i see the only way to help him.

[Ddbev]

I know medication is controversial, but my children are so inattentive I believe denying them medication would be harmful. My son and daughter are on a medication called Quillavent. It's a liquid allowing us to easily adjust dosage. Talk to your pediatrician and perhaps a psychiatrist about it.

[Brownstoner in reply to Ddbev]

How old are your son and daughter? I have been thinking of changing my sons meds and liquid is a thought. My son is 9

[Sonesw76]

Once you get him looked at and put on medication you will see the benefits in your child!! It is so worth it! Mine is excelling in school, working on making friends, and altogether happier!! It makes me a happier parent also! Good luck and well wishes!

[Marebear129]

Have you spoken to his teachers? Meds are not the only answer. Once he gets evaluated and possibly diagnosed, he can have and IEP( individualized education plan) at school or a 504 with accommodations, more one on one, more time on tests, in class accommodations like sitting in the front, a cushion on his seat etc. etc. Talk to your pediatrician about getting him evaluated.

[naubourg]

Thank you for sharing. I am a single mom of 7 years old boy and I have all the same concerns. I am still hesitant on medication, I hear positive and negative comments. We are trying behavior management therapy and I have seen small improvement but the learning is still very challenging and I am giving some thoughts on medication. I will say go with your gut.

[Trishachris]

I take it a day at a time with my son. When I start thinking of the future for him I start freaking out. I totally get where you are coming from. I am a single mom and my son is 13. He was diagnosed with adhd when he was about 7. He was on medicine and no longer wants to take it. He doesn’t like the way it makes him feel so now I am struggling to convince him to take it- just to get through school. We still battle over doing homework... it’s been going on for years. Children with adhd can grow up to be very successful adults. One day at a time...

[lbayley]

We are not medicating our 8 year old and I honestly see the largest benefit from exercise. If she does something physically demanding an hour a day (she currently is on a swim team and plays water polo so she is in the pool 5 days a week), The difference in her focus and her impulse control is huge. From what I’m reading, exercise produces some of the same chemicals in short supply with ADHD. Assuming that’s why it helps her.

[22789]

Ask the school to assess your son for ADHD. Schools do not diagnose but the assessment will or will not suggest ADHD. Private testing can be expensive; no cost through the school district. The assessment includes more than suggesting a diagnosis. The information Will be used to determine if your son is eligible for a 504 or an IEP. Medicating is such a very personal issue and choice. Having said that, my son’s world is far less complex and much easier to navigate using medication. Continue to reach out. It will get more complicated in middle school when students have 6 to 7 different classes a day. Good luck.

[Hidden]

You need to do what you are comfortable with. It took me a year of trying alternative methods before I decided we needed to try meds. So happy we did because it's what has been working for my son and I am comfortable now with my decision.

[Hidden]

I could remember when my nephew was in elementary school and could not keep still, my mother his grandmother will go to the school to sit with him for behavior purposes numerous times. He struggle all school year and eventually dropped out of high school. It was recommended for my sister to place my nephew on medication back in elementary but she refused. Years later, I can't begin to discussed the turmoil he has endure throughout his years, in and out of jail, drugs, and is now in prison at the young age of 21. When it came to my two boys, it was a no brainier. In fact; at the age of 5, my youngest son who is now 12, voiced that he did not like the feeling of not being on his medication, he's hyperactive and he would be all over the place, it was troublesome to watch him not being able to keep still, just constant movement like a motor, that was the feeling he didn't like. ( the constant movement and not being able to stop). I read that children with ADHD has an 85% chance to be in the criminal justice system un-medicated. Certainly these are statistic, and not all children are the same, I just can't imagine at the end of the day not trying something to give them a chance with "normalcy". I have had 14 yrs experience with children with ADHD in the juvenile system, and the consensus was a revolving door within the system when they refuse to take their medications. They will either commit more serious crimes, violate, and some would end up in the adult system. Certainly there's no crystal ball, for anyone's future but I at least want them started on the right track.

[WarriorWorrier]

Read as much as you can. It’s heloful and comforting. I really enjoyed reading “driven to distraction”. It was written by a man with ADHD, forgive me Inhave adhd and I cannot remember if he is a dr too. I think he was. It gives you a slightly different way to look at it. It helped me and I see myself somewhat in him. I was nervous about meds but anxiety is fear of the unknown so read up and get infor and when you make the decision you will be informed and not stressed. Adderall has been around and studied a long time. I have My son in a low dose and it made a lot of difference but it didn’t fix everything and if we go higher it’s not good either. It’s a bit of a trial and you need to stay in close contact with a GOOD doc who cares as you navigate. You sound like a great Dad! It’s going to be okay. Also they say less chance of them taking drugs to self medicate if you can help stabilize them first. Lol. Ok that sounds funny but I do worry about the teen years. I self medicated so much because of my ADHD. Good luck you got this! Take breaks as well when you need it.