Hello, I been feeling some guilt . well i should say the people that are around me as far as my friends. I have been told how did i let this happen why would i let them put him on med . It's going to affect him when he become adult . When im being told this i feel like i failed as a mother. So i just stay to myself away from the negativity. All i want to do is help my son get through this.
Feeling down about myself: Hello, I... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...
Feeling down about myself
Written by
1279
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
28 Replies
•
Don’t let this get you down. We should blame our schools for not being equipped to deal with our children’s intelligence instead they make us sedate our kids. That’s where the blame should go.
Just keep telling your child how intelligent they are and one day they will be able to act, do and be whatever they want to without being punished because they are bored out of their minds at school and made to sit still for hours at a time. The grownups/schools are the problem not the child.
Hang in there and refuse to let anyone make you feel bad. Ask them to take over and see if they can do it any better. I’m sure you’d love anyone to try, right?
I don’t think it is the fault of the schools. These kids have real differences in their brain chemistries and processes that make it very difficult for them to develop their prefrontal cortex which continues developing to around the age of 25. Are they intelligent? Yes! Most of them probably are but intelligence and brain chemistry are two very different things. Stimulant meds do not sedate kids. It increases dopamine so they can focus and be more motivated. It’s kind of the opposite of sedating.
This is a place to come and share. This is what she was asking from others. Please respect my post and refrain from judging my every post. You feel your way and I mine. Don’t need to be told what I feel is wrong by you every time I post something. That’s very rude. Just speak to the person who wrote the post if you have any comforting suggestions for them and don’t worry about what others write.
I’m just sharing my opinion too. If I don’t agree I will respectfully respond. I didn’t say you are wrong. You have the right to your opinion. And I have the right to respond with my opinion to whatever you post out here for people to read.
Do what you want. Just know you aren’t helping the original question being asked by judging others. I will just ignore your post on my replies. Have a blessed day.
Actually non stimulant drugs that are oftentimes prescribed DO sedate children. My son is on one. And sadly I feel our schools are failing our children. Research it, take an ABA course at a college. Our children were not meant to be sitting in chairs all day. Our school systems are still set up for industrial times, when kids graduated and got factory jobs. So things like quantity over quality are valued. Hurry hurry hurry. Busy work. We need more hands on learning in our school systems. All children, not just adhd children learn better that way.
Can I ask you which med your son takes? My son takes guanfacine er 2 mg. This did have a sedating effect as his body adjusted to it for a few weeks. Took me awhile to understand that what the med does is stimulate his prefrontal cortex, which in turn down regulates his amygdala. And for him this reduces anxiety which can help him be more open to learning but it doesn’t do a whole lot for focus and motivation. For awhile I thought the med was suppose to reduce ADHD symptoms by basically making him tired but that wasn’t it at all. That was just a temporary side effect. I had to do more research to understand it because unfortunately his psychiatrist never really explains anything. But I guess that’s my job as mom.
He takes Ritalin 10mg once a day. He as been taking it for almost 3 months so far it's working. I pray he doesn't have to be on it for a long time.
Sure, he takes intuniv at night which is guanfacine it is for the hyperactivity. It was actually a blood pressure med for adults that was found to help kids with adhd. Which in turn can cause low blood pressure, this can make them very drowsy. It is a non stimulant and no one is sure yet how it actually helps adhd children. He has been on this for about 2 years now. We tried a stimulant, vyvance, but the crashes after school were awful!! We went a full year of just intuniv, but now he is on concerta to help with the focus at school. There was a big change in his work load this year and unfortunately he was struggling to keep up. So far it seems to be helping. The two drugs work together stimulant and non-stimulant one for focus the other for the hyperactivity.
I’m sorry your doctor does not take the time to really inform you. Shame on him/her!! We have had a really great psychiatrist, counselor and social worker explain this to us over the past 5 years. If I were you I would find another doctor who takes the time to help you understand everything. It is so hard and confusing and you definitely need caring knowledgeable people on your side!
These type meds do sedate children. They are drowsy of fall asleep and are inattentive in the classroom.
You are his mother and not them its your choice and yours alone. Everyone will have an opinion but an opinion is not a say in your life. You say thank you and move along. We have to do what we can and if you have tried things and failed then its worth a shot.
Hang in there. You are not alone. First of all, you did not let anything happen to your child. Your son's disorder is not anyone's fault. It's just a fact of life and you have to try and manage it the best you can. I think it's very hard for people to understand this disorder without experiencing it first hand themselves, and it's easy to judge when you don't have all the information. It sounds like you need support. I'm not saying you should get rid of your friends. If they are good friends, you can try to educate them and perhaps they can become more supportive as they understand more. But it's also really important to build a network of people who already understand and can support you and encourage you on a daily basis. Your friends probably have no idea the daily emotional turmoil you go through and how hard it is to make decisions that you know can have adverse effects, but that can also hopefully really help improve the quality of his life. Its a terrible balancing act, medicine vs. side effects. You need people to confide in and ask help from. You can not do it alone. I have a whole team of people I rely on for help: my therapist, my sons psychologist, my marriage therapist, my son's pediatrician, his teacher, his special ed teacher, the school counselor, the school psychologist, my husband, my parents, my close friends who I've been able to teach about my son's disorder, and this chat room! Reach out when you're feeling alone. There are a lot of us out there!
Thank you i appreciate the feedback back it really helps
Please don't let other people make you feel this way. You are doing the best that you can for your son. Whatever it takes to give him the best opportunities to succeed and based on my experience with my son that is medicine. We are all here just trying to do our best as parents and no one should be able to judge that because everyone's experience is different. Keep your head up and know that you are doing the best you can and that your son loves you.
I always felt I wouldn’t put my child on meds but I never had a reason to until now. I just got the results for my son I don’t know if that’s what’s coming next. You didn’t fail as a mom don’t ever think that. And don’t listen to people, it’s easy to say you wouldn’t do that until your put in the position. Good luck and cheer up 😊
It’s so hard because people don’t know a lot about adhd. They just assume that your child is hyperactive and if your parenting was better they would be less hyper. They don’t know that our kiddos can’t help it. They don’t know that adhd comes with rigid, inflexible thinking. They don’t know that these kids have trouble with executive function. They don’t know that these kids feel like they are at the loudest rock concert, day in, day out. I could go on and on with what I’ve learned about adhd, but I don’t. It usually falls on deaf ears and people just assume that my kid is a brat. If their kid needed glasses to help them better perform in school, they would get them. They wouldn’t say, well maybe we should try some supplements first or perhaps little Johnny can squint until he develops a little more. Stinks for sure. In your shoes and totally get it.
I have two daughters who were on medications in their childhood. One had ADHD the other suffering with depression. Both of them have college degrees and good jobs so I don't see how the medication affected than the rest of their lives except to make them successful.
Don't let people who don't know what they're talking about make you feel guilty or regret what you're doing to help your child. And I have grandchildren on medication. If they weren't they would be in trouble in school all the time. How is that a good thing?
It’s really easy for people to judge when they aren’t in the same situation. Don’t worry about what anyone else says. If they are true friends they would support you not bash you as a parent. Weed out the negative. You need to have a positive environment for you and your child. It’s hard enough to figure out how to do what’s best for your child, but then to have to deal with negative “friends” chirping in your ears doesn’t make it any easier. Good luck!!
Thank you for the feedback it really helps.
The people who are mentioning things of this nature are more than likely completely/largely ignorant about both ADHD, the different subtypes of ADHD, and what stimulant medications actually do. If you see my page on here, it will show that I have many posts and replies to people who are both hesitant about taking stimulant medication and those who take medication but have negative side effects. I am currently in grad school to obtain my masters degree and become an MFT Psychologist and help people who have this very condition. I have worked with many clients (children, teens, adults) who have ADHD and are largely uninformed of the symptoms/difficulties that come with having any of the 3 subtypes of ADHD. In my studies and experience I have come to know and learn that taking stimulant medication is not enough. One needs to prepare and protect the body from continuous stimulant medication use (assuming a stimulant medication is what you're taking). I went undiagnosed until my mid 20s since I have Inattentive ADHD, the non hyperactive non impulsive subtype. People who have Inattentive ADHD are usually very quite, more introspective, day dream frequently, lower energy, highly lack motivation, and can get irritable quite easily. I went through absolute hell for a good amount of time from elementary school through early college. It was not until I myself found out I had this condition and got myself diagnosed and started getting treatment that my life has turned around for the better, it was a day and night difference. I would have loved for anyone, whether it be my parents, teachers, etc. to have gotten me help for my condition, but nobody did, because inattentive types are harder to diagnose since they are not hyperactive and are not usually disruptive in class compared to hyperactive and combined types. I suffered quite a lot, just like those who go undiagnosed. You're doing the right thing as a parent, and your son will someday greatly thank you for doing what needs to be done right now. You have no idea how much I would have loved for at least one person to have helped me when I was young, instead I suffered for a quarter of my life.
I myself take a low dose stimulant medication with a group of helpful supplements to help fight off the bad side effects that come with continued stimulant use. Unfortunately after taking stimulant ADHD medication, a large amount of negative side effects can start to occur. Also after taking stimulant medication for around 6 months or more, the neurotransmitters the stimulant medication helps out with (Dopamine, Serotonin, Norepinephrine) will start to deplete, which is why negative side effects start popping up, like irritability, apathy, and feeling like the medication is no longer working. This might occur even earlier on, especially the irritability (this happened to me really early on). This is why I highly recommend supplements to take with the medication, to combat negative side effects, help eliminate the irritable/emotional come down once the medication wears off as well, and help the medication work to its best potential. This will unfortunately happen regardless of what stimulate most people take.
If you have health concerns, these supplements help greatly with multiple things, and have helped me and some of the clients I have seen that suffer from negative side effects. I'm not sure how old your son is or exactly what medication or dosage he is taking, but am simply assuming he is taking stimulant medication.
1. N-Acetyl Tyrosine: This supplement helps boost Dopamine and Norepinephrine, those are the two neurotransmitters most stimulant medications work with. The crash that happens after the medication wears off is because those two neurotransmitters are lower temporarily, which is why people experience irritability, sadness etc. I take N-Acetyl Tyrosine an hour or 30min before my medication wears off and thankfully have not experienced the crash of medication ever since. Depletion of those two neurotransmitters is one of the reasons why stimulant medication stops working, and this supplement really helps out in that regard.
2. I take a supplement called R-Alpha Lipoic Acid which is known to one of the most powerful antioxidants out there. It really helps the medication work to its full potential while fighting off oxidation. Stimulant medication creates a large amount of oxidation that is not good for the body, and that can cause physical discomfort as well as mood swings because of it. This supplement helps my body feel at ease, and helps me mentally to mellow out.
3. L-Tryptophan: this supplement is helpful for increasing Serotonin levels, since people with ADHD lack this neurotransmitter as well, especially the Hyperactive and Combined Type subtypes of ADHD, it is highly beneficial. This supplement brings up the mood, and helps the body relax.
4. CoQ10 to keep heart rate and blood pressure from rising and staying at a safe level. This is common with stimulant medication.
5. A good multivitamin with antioxidants.
If any of this sounds helpful and of your interest, you can click my pic and it will take you to my profile where I have a link in my bio that includes all these supplements as well all the ones I personally take. I am not selling anything, the link will take you to a helpful google word doc I made that includes information on each supplement, what places sell it, and how much it costs. I also highly recommend you watch this video called "What Happened When I Stopped Taking My Medication" by the youtuber "How to ADHD" on youtube, it will help give you some mental strength and a more fresh perspective. Hope this helps.
Have you ever used the Daytrana patch? I have read that it’s a more steady release of methylphenidate than other forms. I assume it can cause a rebound effect just like other forms of the medication. But it does stay in the body longer than oral forms. Still present 30 hours after putting patch on. So less peak to trough difference than oral forms. My theory is that it will cause less undesirable side effects like anxiety and rebounding because of the more steady even release of medication. Just wondering if you have any experience with the Daytrana form of methylphenidate.
I have only heard of the Daytrana patch from this website called ADDforums a while ago. It has not come up in my studies thus far. That's an interesting theory, I'm going to for sure look it into it more, thanks for the heads up. I just read that it comes in different dosage amounts as well. Good to know there is some dermatological stimulant options as well.
Thanks for the information! There's definitely a withdrawal crash that doctors seem unwilling to admit to. We're going to try the N-Acetyl Tyrosine to see if that helps with 'crash' issues. My son takes Focalin XR in the morning & a dose in the early afternoon but still crashes around 4pm. He gets super nasty, aggressive, essentially looking for conflict. We manage through it but would rather prevent it. We've tried other supplements like Smarty Pants, 5-HTP, magnesium, but observed no benefit after months of use.
No prob, glad it was of some help. N-Acetyl Tyrosine is great to combat those negative symptoms, it's been a routine of mine to take it about an hour to 30min before my medication wears off for about 3 years now. Unfortunately supplement usage is not suggested too often to people I have spoken with who have gotten diagnosed with ADHD and started taking stimulant medication. Multiple factors come into play there. For the supplements and multivitamin you mentioned, those would be ideal to take previous to medication intake. They are not going to be much help eliminating the irritability that comes with the crash due to the neurotransmitters Dopamine and Norepinephrine not really being boosted up (that's where N-Acetyl Tyrosine comes in). The reason I mention this is because Smarty Pants is a multivitamin that has EPA and DHA and those oils are helpful and beneficial to intake either while or previous to taking stimulant medication. If you were trying to use 5-HTP for a Serotonin boost, I would recommend L-Tyrosine instead, it is a direct precursor to Serotonin and the effects are felt stronger. I take it before taking my medication as well, because it helps keep the edge/intensity that sometimes comes with stimulant use. Magnesium is great, especially Chelated form Magnesium (most bioactive form) it helps the body tremendously especially with digestion and digesting issues related to stimulant use. Lastly I would highly recommend to add a supplement that fights off the major oxidation that stimulant medication brings, and a supplement that also boosts the neurotransmitter Acetylcholine (this neurotransmitters plays a much bigger part with ADHD symptoms that I previously had known). I have an entire post dedicated to explaining this if you are ever interested. So I would recommend the supplement R-Alpha Lipoic Acid because it is a very strong antioxidant and helps the brain use more Acetylcholine, or the supplement Lemon Balm, I have been using this lately and have found great success with it. It is another great antioxidant, and it not only boosts Acetylcholine but it also slightly boosts GABA (another neurotransmitter people with ADHD lack). It is part of the mint family and can be taken in supplement form as well.
Thanks! We'll give it a try
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Feeling down
My son has been on Focalin XR and Guanfacine ER for about four months. Things improved somewhat as...
Feeling a little bit persecuted
Hi there, my almost six year old is in Kindergarten and was just diagnosed with combination type...
Telling your child about diagnosis
My son is just about 10 years old, and we are feeling like it's getting to be time to tell him that...
Feeling helpless
Hello all,
Over the past month my sons anxiety has been really bad. He had a panic attack this...
Issues with the school
Hello everyone, I am new here. My son is 5, recently diagnosed with ADHD AND ODD he has had nothing...
Depressed, upset, frustrated, mom.
About Vyvanse 
Feeling frustrated with the school and how it is dealing with my son who seams to be showing all the signs of ADHD
Need and advice
Hello, introducing myself:))
