HELP

[Sugarbooger1986]

Ok so today my son was diagnosed with ADD and ADHD! His father and I have different views on how we want to handle this...I am not against meds but I want to try other alternatives first!!! So please no judging but please help me help my son...without giving him meds!

[Elijah1]

Make sure you know what your treatment options are. The National Resource Center on ADHD at help4adhd.org has information and will answer questions. Read a book (like Barkley's Taking Charge of ADHD) to become an informed consumer.

[Sugarbooger1986 in reply to Elijah1]

That's good advice thank u

[TaraCrowl in reply to Elijah1]

There is also a book call ADHD without Drugs by Sanford Newmark. Also, medication or not, you should consider working with a counselor. Even if you eventually decide to use medication, "the skill is not in the pill" is my favorite saying because it is so true. Medication may help with giving them a chance to think but it will not make choices.

It is definitely tough when husband and wife don't agree (Took us 3.5 years to get on the same page!!). Getting educated together is the very best, which is what we finally were able to do. Good luck!

Tara

Mental Health Counselor in MO/KS

[Sugarbooger1986 in reply to TaraCrowl]

Thank u so much!!

[Hidden in reply to TaraCrowl]

I like that "the skill is not in the pill" saying. It's true, we had our son on several different meds in grades 3rd - 5th and did not have good experiences with behaviors of not eating, tired, losing weight, while others made him angry and frustrated, we wanted to stop all together, but were convinced to try Straterra, this seemed to help a bit with behaviors, but still had trouble staying focused, concentrating, & thinking. Our son has ADD/Learning disabilities in conjunction with being diagnosed with Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy since age 3 , Our son, now age 22 does not have the "H" hypersensitivity, type, it just takes him more time to think, understand, and process information. He is not able to take tests where there are distractions so this makes it very difficult to learn a skill. Now that he is an adult, it breaks my heart because he is so confused what to do. And I still have to bring my husband back in to grasp of things about our sons struggles. This seems to be the biggest challenge when dad at times has a tough time accepting his sons struggles. As parents we want our son to excel and progress in life, we give as much encouragement as we can and keep him in his exercise program. Trying to prepare and get him independent, as we won't be here forever. We feel we don't know how to get him on the thinking course of a career. It is really hard! Hoping that this life-changing miracle "SDR" surgery (when funds permit) for his cerebral palsy which permanently removes the spasticity from his legs. This will help with his cognitive thinking skills, as it will take less effort to walk and he will be able to walk with a heel-to-toe motion and better control. We are so excited for this day to happen! It may not be until 2018, only if funds permit.

So very hopeful!

[Mmagusin]

We've provided much more visual reinforcement and more frequently. We use Pom poms as rewards. I have small, medium and large representing dollar values. He can cash out on Saturdays and go buy something. The key is to give poms very frequently to reinforce a behavior i.e. Read just one page of your assignment, you get a Pom, etc. Do large tasks in small chunks and reward progress often. Always respond with calm tones, love and understanding even with most annoying behaviors. I know it's hard. Also, Parents must NEVER contradict or correct each other in child's presence. Debate it privately. Don't blame each other. It's a physical impairment, not from parenting style. However, behaviors can worsen greatly with family stress. Highly recommend reconsidering trying medication if behaviors become too severe, as it is a biological disorder much like other physical diseases we medicate for. Not judging.