Homework time is a disaster

[belindakay]

Hi! I am new to the group and a parent of a boy with ADHD. He is 8 yrs old and currently in the 3rd grade. He takes medication during the day which wears off by 4pm. I don't want to medicate any later since the meds decrease his appetite and prevent him from getting to sleep. He often brings his lunch box home with the entire sandwich and most of the snacks uneaten. By the time I get off of work, pick him up and get home, it is 6pm. He is starving because he didn't eat his lunch and the last thing he wants to do is work on homework. Many nights we both end up in tears of frustration over homework. He does do his homework at aftercare but we check it together and I help him correct mistakes, study for quizzes or work on extra projects. Bedtime is 8:30 so our time is limited. Anyone else have this issue and what have you done to work it out?

[MarySI]

We tried using shorter sessions and trying to make it as practical as possible so he doesn't get bored and praising him Alot!!!❤

[krystle_w]

Hi! I am new as well. I am a mother of a 7 year old boy with ADHD and currently in the second grade. I don't medicate him, but I too have the same problems with my son. He won't eat his food at school then comes home and says he is starving. I give him a small snack and we will fight to get his homework done. A couple things that my son loves to do is play a certain game on the computer and go to his boxing classes. We have a verbal agreement that if he does not have his homework done before he does those two things, he cannot do them. He has to read 15-20 every night for his homework, so we save that for his bedtime to help him wind down, plus if fits into the routine that we have been doing with him since he was a baby, which was read to him every night.

[Hidden in reply to krystle_w]

I am so glad that he loves reading! What you're doing is awesome!! I really enjoyed reading some of the kids' books to my classes, and if you find a chapter book that is in his interest level (and yours, if you're lucky!) you're set!!

[Hidden]

I feel your pain! Homework is terrible! I not only have an ADHD child, I was a teacher for 29 years. First of all, is this truly homework, or is he not able to get things finished at school? It might help you to know that. If he is just chillaxing at school, now is a good age to talk to him about working for a reward. Getting schoolwork done at school (if this is possible) calls for a reward, for example. Using something he likes (you'll have to be creative!) will make him look forward to you picking him up. In aftercare, doing homework correctly also deserves a reward. This doesn't have to be expensive! I know that I am the "no" mom at the grocery, so maybe this would be a yes to the junky Fruity Pebbles my kids crave, just for example! Or you could let him watch something, play something, do something that is a little different.

Let's say, though, he is doing his very best at school, and at aftercare, and homework time with you is still happening. I would suggest using that starvation time (very common!) and allow time for him to just relax. Maybe then at 7, homework check, and if that is going well, the reward is something at 8.

Last, I understand. I find myself imagining doing all of my child's homework just to get it done, but no good would come of that. I have a girl who is 13, so you can imagine the drama going on here!

Good luck! I hope I helped....a little, at least!!

[walewyck]

Oh, been there! So much been there, and with the timing and bedtime limitations also. I find that it's essential to prioritize getting food into the kid before tackling homework. The usual rules about waiting for dinner and not spoiling his appetite just don't apply to kids like ours. My kid has to not be hungry if there is any chance of focusing. Once we finally get the food into him, it can be like a switch going on from dark and horrible to bright and sunny. If your son didn't eat his lunch/snack, then that's a ready-made thing he can eat while dinner is getting prepared. Fruit is another thing that he could help himself to at any time. Doing this doesn't mean that we never have homework problems (ha!), but it at least takes away one obstacle, and some days, that's enough. Also, there are non-stimulant medications available. Our son takes a non-stimulant medication in the late afternoon; adding that to his regime may help-- talk to his doctor. Finally, if there are particular subjects that he regularly struggles with, a tutor might help. My kid often responds a lot better to grownups other than his parents when it comes to having to learn something. Some after-school programs can provide individual tutoring for an extra fee.

[Grandma01]

Hi there folks, I too have been there with my six year old at the beginning of the school year. We spent hours trying to get homework done in a few short hours. When we went to his IEP meetibg a few months ago we were told we didn't gave go go the distance. So anyway after some chatter and a new plan homework is very limited to just a minimal of a few minutes spent on Riggs (spellng) and occasional homework. I'm an old school parent, i believe that homework should be done in its entirety in order for it to be counted, but school has changed since i was in school and even ny kids.

Talk to your child special education teacher or regular ed teacher, explain whats happening and see if they can reduce the amount homework each night or if if you can do a portion of it.

In ahead of doing 20 math problems maybe do ten. Instead if reading for 50 minutes try reading for 15 minutes a night. There is a practical solution to the problem.

[lumusislight]

I understand you... The same with my 7-year-old Tyler.. I can't make him learn something until I promise the laptop games.. It seems to be a disaster in this tech world. Gadgets spoil our kids and it becomes an obsession. Can't do anything about it. Perhaps, someone has a solution. How can I keep him away from games and make do homework?

Thanks,

Carol Loomis (Lumusislight Projects in Portland Author jetwriters.com/bullying-essay speech)