Help! Need Advice on ADHD?ADD children

I have 4 year old son that I am sure is ADHD/ADD. Most children learn not to do things as they get into trouble and they don't like that. Well, my son continues to do things he knows he shouldn't be doing. He keeps getting into things that could hurt him. I have tried rewards, a sticker chart, coins and of course the dreaded punishments. Nothing and I mean nothing is getting through. I always talk with him about why he got spanked or put into timeout or whatever. He answers as to why and then says he is sorry. Turn my back and he is doing the same thing again. He goes nonstop all day, getting him to eat is a pain and a half. This is my fourth child and the only one that is like this. Not sure if my advanced age at his birth had anything to do with this or not. I am so frustrated. His father has nothing to do with him (fathers choice) and so it is left to me being a single parent and I am so tired. Tired of the constant battles. Really not wanting to put him on medication but I may not have any option. He can be so sweet when he wants to be. I know that if he were in school, I would be there everyday because of something he did. I have thought about home schooling him but with the way I feel right now I don't think that would be a wise thing to do. Calling his doctor again on Monday about this.


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7 Replies

  • Trust me I understand what you are going through. My now seven year old has been reacting the same for as long as I remember. There is a delay when no doesn't mean no. Defiance at that age is what that looks like. Smells like Adhd to me. But you have to just get him evaluated and go from there. Don't feel alone or bad. Just keep doing what you are doing and seek further assistance in finding out all you can about Adhd.

  • I am in the same boat. I just joined this page looking for advice. I have a 4 yo daughter and since birth she has been overly hyper. It seems to be getting worse, instead of better. I try positive approaches, spankings, corner. You name it, and it doesn't phase her. She's fearless. I am afraid she is going to get hurt because she's so contrary she does the exact opposite of what I ask most times. I'm at my wits end. We have a Christian care ministry instead of health insurance, which means I basically have to pay out of pocket. I don't know how much seeing a psychiatrist will cost, but I'm sure this will be our first step to helping her. I don't want her feeling like she's a bad child, and it breaks my heart because I feel like I'm constantly disciplining her!! Good luck with helping your son, I wish you both the best.

  • For a minute I thought I was reading about my on! He was the same way at that age and still is. He'll be 6 next month. He is not afraid of anything or anyone at all. He just started KG and i get phone calls every day about his defiance. I tried to take the route of no medication but it is not working. A lot of doctors don't like to medicate them until they're 6 but it's better to intervene now then when he starts school and his emotions are just everywhere. I try not to be so negative when he does wrong because with ADHD they just can't control it. I tell my son "hey it's ok, you tried your best" even when he makes the wrong choices. They need that reassurance from us as well. Not just negative comments. Stay strong...believe me so many of us are in the same boat and are trying our hardest.

  • You're not alone, I have a 7 year old that has exhibited this exact behavior for years now. He was finally diagnosed with severe ADHD, and although medication and behavior modification works-the nature of the disease is such that his brain isn't making the connection between certain behavior and punishment.

    I found these videos helpful in understanding the problem-which in turn helps me to remain calm and in control. Get him diagnosed, reach out to doctors & groups like these. It helps tremendously to have insight and understanding from those around you as well.

  • Sounds like ADHD but go to his Pediatrician and get him evaluated at school for an IEP and tell them about his behavior!

    That should help!

  • Once again I feel like I was reading about my 6yr old daughter. She had IEP in school and I am still being called. She is very defiant and not focused. Nothing scares this child. I can punish her, take electronics away, etc and she says sorry mom. I am almost at my wits end but she has no one but me so I can not detach. I'm waiting to see a child psychiatrist to help WITH medication In which I pray helps, because I am like everyone who has an ADHD/ADD child!

  • I can understand. My 10 years old was diagnosed with ADD when he was only 5 years old. Doctor's help with different ways based on the severity. It has treatment. If you will notify school during admission they will arrange for his counseling.Another thing it has nothing to do with your age, as mine is the first child and he was born when I was young. God gives responsibility to them, who are capable of handling that. So be strong and your kid will be good with continuous love and support. God will give you more patience and courage .

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