A little ditty about pain

Hi all :) I'm new at posting on here but I've spent many months reading a lot of your posts and have gained from reading other people's stories and the replies that have been given. Whilst I never wish chronic pain or illness on anyone, sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone and that other people 'get it'.

I'm not going to ramble on and bore you (promise!) but I suffer from chronic spinal pain stemming from my facet joints, and have done for the past 7 years. The degeneration there was, perhaps, brought to light by a visit to the local chiropractor who rendered me unable to walk and I was subsequently in a wheelchair for a few months. I don't think he is the root cause, but it didn't help at the time! I've had to give up work due to my pain levels and lack of physical ability/mobility, which strongly goes against my grain. I'm not good at resting, I want to be 'out there'. I have dreams - since my problem started I've completed one qualification in canine behaviour management and am now almost half way through my foundation degree. My aim, however realistic or not, is to reach the goal of becoming a canine behaviour technician. That's my passion, that and my own animals keep me going, along with my massively supportive parents. I also have knee and hip pain which, since the age of 12 has been cyclic, and so after many years of trying, I've recently had a laparoscopy to see if there was any endo there (my Mum had lots of endo years ago), but there wasn't. I was told that a 'blank' lap didn't necessarily mean that there isn't some deep rooted endo somewhere so I've been on zoladex for 5 months. It's help with the knees and hips LOTS, but that said, I had a gynae follow up this week and the consultant said 'it's very unlikely that you have endo'. So I remain undiagnosed and am at my wits end with that and my chronic spine problem. For that, I have an annual procedure - radio frequency lesioning on the nerves in the facet joint, as well as periodic analgesic injections. They help me to cope, but not to live a life. Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a depressing post. I'd been sleeping the other day (just felt washed out!!) and when I woke up, I suddenly got a weird urge to write a poem - bizarre! Anyway, here it is, I'm sure some of you can relate so I thought I'd share my musings :) (the denervation part relates to the radiofrequency lesioning to anyone who isn't familiar). Those of you in chronic pain, or similarly those who have ever had zoladex should 'get' some of this! I wrote it when they still thought I had endo, so it's a little out of date;

Every time I close my eyes I wake up with another -

The spots I have across my face now have another brother.

Zoladex, oh Zoladex, you help my pain to pass,

But as you do, you are yourself, another - in the arse!

A 'sharp scratch' here, a hot flush there, not sure if I can cope with this,

But in the end, it's better than the endometriosis is.

On top of that, my facet joint is worn down to the nerve,

Which is ok, but I find myself without one in reserve!

The chiropractor flared it up - should I get compensation?

Possibly, but I will settle for annual Denervation.

It helps the pain, but not enough to reach my life's desire -

A specialist in 'all things dog', available for hire.

Acceptance is the key, they say, but that is hard to swallow,

When all I actually really want, is a normal path to follow.

But don't be fooled, I won't give up - a quitter I am not,

Just having a little blip I think - don't help I'm so damn HOT!

Hope to chat to some of you soon, and my heart goes out to anyone who lives with chronic pain of any type :)


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