Help ? Support? A friend in the world?

So, I'm 21. I'm a wheelchair user. I have serious chronic pain (since birth) in the feet, ankles, legs, knees, hips and lower back. This is caused by permenantly damaged bones and nerves. I also am visually impaired, have asthma, a severe heart problem and a range of metal health problems. I'm not looking for attention. I just want someone who understands you know?

I don't get help for my conditions. They can't put me on most pain killers, it just isn't an option. I always go round on my own, travelling by public transport and everyday I get abuse.

I just can't cope anymore.

I feel like I'm worthless and pointless and hat anything I do will just fail.

I'm at rock bottom. I don't know who else I can talk to. I honestly feel I'd be better off dead.

Is suicide a viable option? Am I less of a man for feeling this way? I feel like I am.

8 Replies

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  • Robin, I've literally just happened upon this forum looking for support /help for my chronic pain and your post was the first I read. I have no magic wand or answers for you, I wish I did. All I can say is my heart goes out to you, you are NOT worthless or pointless, you have a value and there are people in this world who care about you. I have contemplated suicide in the early days of my pain journey, it's a natural part of the adjusting / grieving process for the life you thought you were going to have I think. But, it will pass, you are young and you will get stronger, you are already doing a fantastic job by getting about by yourself, ignore these idiots who give you hassle, they are morons! I am 49 and I am too nervous to use public transport in my wheelchair so you're already being super brave in my eyes! I understand what it's like to have pain 24/7, mine is horrendous too so I really can empathise. You have so much to offer this world, please try and take some comfort from the fact that there are many others in your position and we are all here to listen and support each other.

    Take care cariad.

  • I suppose it's just difficult. When you have such little support, you feel like you're sinking :(

  • Hi Robin! I don't know what it's like to be in a wheelchair but I do know what it's like to be so low you just can't go on. Do you have a therapist to help you? And which condition keeps you from taking pain meds? There are other things like topical patches that numb the area but aren't absorbed into your blood stream, TENS units, physio therapy, spinal implants, etc.

    just get online when your sad, there's always someone who understands. You're not alone.

  • I have a heart problem called Long QT Syndrome. It limits the medication I can take quite significantly. I take some. I am taking Paracetamol, max dose, Ibuprofen, max dose, Gabapentin, max dose, Codeine, max dose, and they put me on methocarbamol, but then my kidneys started to be put under pressure so they may have to stop that. Beyond that, I can't take anything. I shouldn't be taking codeine as I am sensitive to opiates. It's ridiculously unfair.

    We have tried TENS, doesn't work for me, acupuncture, same, osteopathy, did a little bit but stopped working. Physiotherpy doesn't work cause they assign me excercises which involve joint movement and I can't move them. Literally, I have had so much trauma with physiotherapists and doctors surrounding my pan, I literally won't see them.

    I don't have a therapist. They're trying to get me things, but I have had counselling on and off for ten years. None of it has touched it. I have had CBT, again did nothing.

  • Hey! Just came across this post! You sound like a very strong person to me, as you have dealt with more than most people could ever imagine. I am not in a wheelchair and don't have some of the issues you do, but you are still here, which means you are taking it a day at a time. Just by fighting every day, means you are stronger than you ever imagined. Sure the battle every day is exhausting, I do know that, but we keep going because we have to, we CANNOT let our health beat us. Never. Stay strong!! Xx

  • Thank you for this :) It really means a lot.

    I don't feel strong. Trust me I don't, but it is good to know people have faith in me.

  • Just stay strong remember you are only human being depressed is part of being in pain suicide is never the answer and your more of a man for admitting your problems

  • I am?

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