I get mood swings one min i'm ok then lose my temper my thoughts get muddled i cry for no reason i feel itchy as if things are crawling on my skin some times i wish it would all end i dont sleep very well i even talk to my dogs that are dead even though i'm married and live with my wife i feel alone i dont like conversation some times i'm just not in the mood I havent worked for 2 years i dont go out of the house unless i have to i have gained 4 stone in weight i go of in rants some times then wont say anything but my mind races. can anyone give me an idea what is wrong with me?.
I have had bout's of depression over ... - Above & Beyond - ...
I have had bout's of depression over the years when things have gone bad in my life but over the past year or so things are getting worse.
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Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I've been there many times before and have experienced all of your symptoms. For me, it was/is anxiety and depression caused sometimes by situations I'm in and other times by reliving the stress and anxiety of situations I have been in. People meaning well say things like, "you just need a job and then....." but that is so ridiculous because how can you maintain or even get in the right mindset for someone to give you a job when you can't leave the house as you are so full of anxiety? I know that the house starts to feel like a prison and although it's the only place I've felt comfortable during these phases, that comfort also lessens the more time I spend inside. Sorry for your pain.
Firstly, I feel you must talk to someone about how you feel. The best person to start with would be your partner, I think. Then you have a support from the off. Having support makes such a difference. I found it so difficult just to go to the Drs and try to explain how I felt. When I came out of the Drs, I felt dirty, like I'd been violated. But it was only after this that I got the help I so desperately needed. It's a huge step to take, but also the most important.
I hope you get help, as soon as possible, as you will only feel worse if you ignore it.
Amy x
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so awful. It sounds like you are trying to cope with difficult feelings which have escalated until they have become more extreme than you can manage on your own. You don't say what you rant about but you are showing all the signs of being over-stressed by your anger.
It can be frightening to experience strong feelings of anger. Anxiety is a natural response to fear- your itchy skin and poor sleep are physical symptoms of anxiety. You are experiencing extreme anxiety and turning to the dogs in fantasy as a way of trying to find someone who will understand how you are feeling. This suggests no one understands you.
You say you are married but feel alone and turn to your dogs in fantasy but turn away from wife. It sounds like your dogs are very important to you and, I wonder whether they were your source of comfort when they were alive? I wonder whether you feel your wife will not understand how you feel or it may be there is an issue within the marriage that is the cause of your anger.
It sounds as though with no outlet for your anger you have become anxious about what will happen and that coping with your anxiety has made you depressed. You have been becoming depressed for some time, not going out of the house, not wanting to socialise are symptoms of depression, as is gaining weight because it suggests you do not feel motivated enough to take care of your needs at the moment.
Retreating to fantasy protects other people but fantasy is only a temporary relief! You need to be understood by a real person.
You do not need to explain to your GP if you don't want to but I would suggest you ask him to refer you to a counsellor who can help you to share your difficult feelings and help you to find more helpful ways of dealing with them. He will also be able to prescribe a mild medication such as Prozac to stabilise your mood if you feel that will help.
I do hope you seek the help you need.
Suexx