It's been a while since I have done my positive posts so here I am!

[teen_anxiety]

These past 3 days have been hard I will put that out there upfront. While they have been hard they have been the best days in a while. It all started with a breakdown that caused me and my mom to fight again because for some reason I can not seem to do anything but fight with her when I break down. The thing that made this one different from the rest was my dad. At first, I wanted him to just go away and stop listening in because I always only have these with my mom and so that's how I wanted it. in the end, he was the one who helped calm me and helped me get better at that moment. He did not make me feel bad but related to me and helped me heal at that moment. From that moment I have had a lot of sit down talks with my mom and got my life together and I feel better than I have in a while. I never realized how down I was until these past 3 days. I always thought I was just sorta depressed but not really that bad or real or it did not matter because I did not get the same feelings as others and bla bla bla. I have realized recently that those do not matter that if I feel it then It is real and that's enough.

But none of that is what I really wanted to talk about it's something I do want you all to hear and learn but that's not my main point. My main point is the little things that I have learned and that have made my life so much better lately.

1) no texting except one day a week the reason this took me forever to finally implement into my life is that I was terrified about losing friends (let's just say I have a few bad friendships in the past) but honestly guys I can only be a better friend by getting better.

2) prioritize so I have been into planning for about a year but only as of this past school year have I really gotten into it and I not only plan the week but each day I plan out general time limits for everything and I prioritize things

3) add in me-time rewards, not sugar or electronic rewards but me-time whether that's time by yourself or time to do things you chose not because you have to for school.

4) put some things on the backburner this was scary and hard for me because I have been planning a business and I had to put that on the back burner because that is not immediately important and I have realized that is ok and it will still be there later on

5) so so this is gonna sound weird and also I purposely saved this for last even though it connects to what I was talking about in the beginning but the day after the fight with my mom she came to put more rules in (I made my own rules on my own a few days after that) and I was having a weird day still feeling the effects of the break down from the night before and decided I did not wanna talk at all that day so I had a whole convo with my mom by writing on a whiteboard and to all the moms out there this was honestly the best thing I could do because it helped so I did not say anything I would regret and my mom was able to get her say and it was short compared to some because I did not try to fight her. I do love my mom but sometimes I have a hard time seeing eye to eye with her

because of all these, my life has been so great I can focus on school (college in high school) and through that prioritize my future without the extra stress.

[Hidden]

Hello teen_

Great to hear from you! I've been thinking of you and some of the other people posting in this forum and wondering how you are getting on. So it is really nice to hear such a positive vibe from you.

That all sounds absolutely fantastic. Great forward planning your life and getting control of your texting time. (You know what suits you, but limiting to once a week seems like it might be too severe? But as I say, you know what suits you.)

I'm sure your mom is really pleased to have had that whiteboard chat. It sounds like you have actually got a pretty good relationship down at bedrock level. And your dad as well being there for you and being able to calm you down. Have a great week.

[teen_anxiety in reply to Hidden]

thanks and maybe it is severe but I chose to do it that way so that I can finish my HW first so I am not stressed that I have better things I could be doing and don't feel like I am wasting my time and besides my mom says it's normal for people to not have time for anything else in college and I would not say pleased but ya it did work out in the end.

[Hidden]

Your dad set a great example for us, I hope we can all take note of his reaction. Rather than giving in to our initial impulsive reaction (generally where yelling back without thinking would happen), we can slow down and get in touch with our hearts and minds. Too much heart and you say something without thinking, too much mind and you leave out the feeling, but when both heart and mind are in harmony, that’s when you’re really able to handle arguments. You gotta address both your feelings and your thoughts; they work together. Your thoughts check your feelings, and your feelings check your thoughts. That’s why the whiteboard idea is great, it forces you to compose a message that utilizes both your feelings and your thoughts. Having empathy and helping you calm down was a wise move by your dad, props to him! Perhaps in future scenarios that you and your mom begin one of those fights, you could put it on hold and take a time out to chill with your pops, and/or do the whiteboard thing like you mentioned. It’s quite astounding that the most bitter of circumstances can be the some of the greatest opportunities for important lessons. Your dad saw a great opportunity. It goes to show that there’s always a way to turn things right side up again.

Thanks for sharing your remarkable experience with us 🙏

[teen_anxiety in reply to Hidden]

you are welcome