Hi everyone. I’m new to HealthUnlocked and decided to introduce myself.
You can call me Chris.
I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for 7 years now. I started treatment in 2016 — have been on a daily 10mg dose of Lexapro (Escitalopram), and Xanax when needed, since.
It worked in lifting my moods for a little while. But recently in the past year or I suppose I may have built up a tolerance to my current dose. The numbness, fatigue, and low moods are all back. I don’t know what to feel. I know I should be rational and simply seek the next steps I can take.
But I can’t help feeling disappointed. I’m so tired of fighting a battle I can’t win. It seems like whatever I do, I’m only doing enough to fight another day. Can’t I stop fighting for good?
My condition has caused so much anxiety in my life. It’s knocked my confidence in ever living like a “normal” person can. I’ve been fired multiple times from jobs because of it. I don’t know how I’m ever going to hold down a full time job when my episodes keep knocking me off my feet. As much as I despise my condition, I despise myself even more — because I know that the only person who can help myself is me. I’ve been trying so hard but my current circumstances just tell me I’m not trying hard enough.
Really sorry to be such a Debbie downer. I don’t know what kind of advice I’m looking for, to be honest. Whatever you’ve got would be good enough. Thanks for reading.