Advice appreciated :)

[poppies0124]

Hi everyone. I’m new to HealthUnlocked and decided to introduce myself.

You can call me Chris.

I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for 7 years now. I started treatment in 2016 — have been on a daily 10mg dose of Lexapro (Escitalopram), and Xanax when needed, since.

It worked in lifting my moods for a little while. But recently in the past year or I suppose I may have built up a tolerance to my current dose. The numbness, fatigue, and low moods are all back. I don’t know what to feel. I know I should be rational and simply seek the next steps I can take.

But I can’t help feeling disappointed. I’m so tired of fighting a battle I can’t win. It seems like whatever I do, I’m only doing enough to fight another day. Can’t I stop fighting for good?

My condition has caused so much anxiety in my life. It’s knocked my confidence in ever living like a “normal” person can. I’ve been fired multiple times from jobs because of it. I don’t know how I’m ever going to hold down a full time job when my episodes keep knocking me off my feet. As much as I despise my condition, I despise myself even more — because I know that the only person who can help myself is me. I’ve been trying so hard but my current circumstances just tell me I’m not trying hard enough.

Really sorry to be such a Debbie downer. I don’t know what kind of advice I’m looking for, to be honest. Whatever you’ve got would be good enough. Thanks for reading.

[pam4him]

I think you answered your own question as far as the meds. They can indeed be less effective over time. Perhaps a dr visit to adjust meds is a good place to start. To help with the "despising myself", please consider using Goal setting. The meds for instance, the goal is to feel better. The tasks to reach that goal might include choosing a dr, making an appt, going to the appointment, speaking honestly to the dr, getting the prescription, getting it filled, taking it as prescribed. Breaking down even simple things like this could lift you a bit as you see things being accomplished. Keep a journal of the successes, and it's okay to cut yourself some slack if it doesn't quite work out. Just try to commit to try again in the near future. Prayers for peace, strength and wisdom.

[poppies0124 in reply to pam4him]

Hi Pam, thank you for replying to me. Yes, I will be visiting my doctor soon to discuss a medication/dose change.

I do do what you suggested: setting goals for myself. I’m learning to be less hard on myself when I fail to complete my goals or tasks at times 😬 That’s one of my biggest hurdles.

Thank you for taking the time out to respond, and for your kind words. I hope you’re well!

[Hidden]

Hey Chris.. welcome..glad ur with the rest of us. I too have been down the road of prescription meds and them getting used to ur body and then they become inaffective. Have u thought about alternatives to the prescription meds?

So.. whats "normal" anyway.Isnt normal kinda boring,lol

I kinda like the saying....Learning to dance in the rain..with life. Sorry too many head injuries..but that's pretty close to the saying. For me..Ive been through many hurricanes and tornadoes in my life..and it still hasn't gotten much easier,BUT its all about finding "U" and holding on to "U" and trying to make the best of what u have because there r many people that don't have even that. Distraction.. for me helps the most on my worst days mentally or physically.That can be music...pet or etc..