Health anxiety is a tricky one...?
I’ve been a sufferer for a long time now and I’ve learned that my health anxiety takes full control of my mind and my symptoms are so severe I am convinced I have a terminal illness...but when you try to talk to your loved ones well mine just roll their eyes and make me feel I’m a burden and I’ve even been told “stop being stupid”
What are your coping strategies when your health anxiety is at its worse and does anyone understand how I feel
Nat
I have been struggling so hard with this for almost 3 months now and this has been the worst 3 months of my life, hands down. I've totally isolated myself from family and friends because I'm 100% convinced I have a terminal disease and only a few months left to live so what's the point of enjoying anything if I'm about to die? What's the point in getting closer to people if they're going to be ripped away from you in such a short time? I can't have fun, can't enjoy life, can't do anything except Google and research all my symptoms and terrify myself as I become convinced it's something horrible. I spend most of my days now glued to my phone reading about awful, rare and terminal diseases and cancers that I think I have. To give you an idea of this, in the last 3 months I've been 100% convinced I had skin melanoma, colon cancer, rectal/anal cancer, pancreatic cancer, liver cancer, ovarian cancer, vaginal cancer and now I'm on thyroid cancer. When I list these all out here I can see how ridiculous that sounds but it's so real to me. I'm currently terrified of thyroid cancer because when I went to get an abdominal ultrasound to convince myself I didn't actually have liver cancer, the sonographer offered to also do a free thyroid screening they were doing on special so me being the hypochondriac I am, of COURSE I accepted. Imagine my absolute shock and horror when she told me she found several tiny nodules on my thyroid... I immediately have transitioned from liver cancer to thyroid cancer. She told me lots of people have these and they aren't worrisome but naturally I burst into tears as soon as I left and immediately called my PCP to make an appointment to follow up on this. My appointment is today and in this last week since finding the thyroid nodules I've been a MESS. Like a complete mess. We went on vacation and I was miserable and had to fake it for the sake of my precious kids but it's all I can think about. Anyway I just want to say I feel for you. If someone doesn't have health anxiety they're simply not going to understand and it's that simple. It's life ruining. It's absolutely horrible and I want my life back. I miss myself so much. Just know you're not alone. I don't know what the answer is but I can assure you it's not going out and getting a ton of medical tests done to convince yourself you're fine... It's made it worse for me every single time.
Sorry-- I should also add I'm a registered nurse and start graduate school this fall for my master's degree in nursing which makes this whole ordeal so much worse and embarrassing. I honestly believe these last few months have absolutely been triggered by caring for patients with diseases such as cancer. It's very, very hard to watch a patient suffer with their illness or condition and then try not to imagine yourself with that same illness. It's really taking a toll on me lately to the point where I'm always terrified to go in to work at the hospital because I know I'll see a patient with a tragic disease and will start imagining I also have that disease. It's a terrible, vicious cycle that I can't seem to escape and it's gotten so bad I'm considering getting a new job, perhaps at a nursing home or somewhere where I'm not going to see acute illnesses all the time. This has been such an incredibly rough few months for me and I'm sorry for babbling on but it's helped so much just talking about it.
Oh my you sound identical to me... I feel I e just read about myself... please don’t feel embarrassed cuz your a nurse you lovely people see the worst they’re is to see everyday I think you just identified your triggers there about seeing people suffer everyday my downfall and triggers where the sudden quick illness and death of my beautiful mum who was 56 fit as a fidddle thought she had gallstones turned out she had pancreatic cancer and secondary liver cancer my mum died in my arms 7 weeks after diagnosis my heart stopped when hers did that was 12 years ago but still feel like yesterday at least the heartaches the same since losing my mum my health anxiety has gone through the roof and found it extremely difficult to find myself again xxxxxx
I can't imagine what an awful experience that must have been for you, to have your beautiful mom one day and then lose her such a short time later. Life is so damn hard sometimes and horrible things like this happen and we're all left dealing with the painful aftermath and memories. I'm so sorry you lost your precious mother 💔 I can't imagine that's something you will ever get over... Just more something to you've learned to live with. It makes sense that triggered all these fears in you too. It's definitely similar to my triggers in seeing my patients go through these things, but you've given me perspective and I'm so grateful I still have my own mom around. Thank you for sharing this with me. I hope it helps you that you're not alone in your health anxiety struggles! If you don't mind I just said a prayer for you that you can get through this day... Just one day at a time is all we can really handle sometimes.
I have had HA for years but the past 12 months have been so bad - just couldn’t be convinced at all that it was “just” due anxiety. However I’m now on AD and feel so much better and symptoms have 80 % gone which proves it was due anxiety. But in answering your question my wife deep down always knew it was anxiety so her way of supporting me was not ever showing concern which although is meant well it’s maybe not how you wish someone to be, but as we know unless you have experienced it first hand it’s hard for non Sufferers to appreciate what we go through. I found this site a great help when needed and of course for me the AD. I wish you well.
This site has brought me through so much as I never really understood how many people actually go through this until I joined this forum.. thanks so much
What is AD?
Anti depressants hun x
Hi Natz,
I have health anxiety all my life. Every little muscle twitch or little symptom makes me think I have a serious illness. Most of the time, it turned out to be nothing at all. And that everyone have experienced that, it's just that I have it worse or more frequent.
I have been to the doctors. Describing my symptoms to the doctors can be a pain. Because sometimes, it can be so complicated that they just don't understand my symptoms. I'm a waste of money and a burden to the people around me. It's painful.
This site helps me calm down whenever I get such attacks. I get how you feel. The only solution I have is to stop thinking about it. Distract myself with tons of work.
Me too I’ve even taken up knitting and crotchet just to keep my mind occupied u be surprised how much it helps thanks for your reply means a lot
Nat
Hey Nat,
You seem to like my brutally honest replies. Here's one for you. 
Your form of anxiety is something I am incapable of experiencing. Your loved ones likely share this incapacity, but they may have never explained why. Your fears are just. (Y)our health is a fleeting state of affairs. Our bodies age, deteriorate, betray us, and eventually make us shit our pants upon death, as a final theatrical insult. Being scared your body is going to cause you suffering, is like being scared of death or scared of loneliness or scared of pain. These reasons for suffering are inevitable over time and take many forms in their own right. The real question is, why do you worry about it so much? It's such a waste of time to worry about the unavoidable. Granted, avoid what you can, but when you feel itchy, feel feverish, have a headache again, just assume it'll pass. If it doesn't pass, well fuck, atleast you had a good run. Anxiety is fear, and fear is a powerful thing. We need it to prevent what can be avoided, but do not let it guide you where it serves no purpose. Enjoy every day on which you feel perfectly fine, expect it'll end, and accept that it will. If it was easy, nobody would have anxiety, I get that, but I think it's all about perspective. I do not fear death as nothingness is nor good nor bad. I do not fear pain because we have drugs to numb us into oblivion. I do not fear loneliness because there are people i could approach everywhere, all the time. I do not fear my body falling apart, because if I truly feel unhappy with the life it forces me to lead, I can quickly end my life. I do not fear terminal illness, because if I don't fear death, or pain, or loneliness, why would I care? It's all easily said, because perspective is a hard thing to change, but it's the one thing you can control.
Enjoy life and what you have while it lasts, because it won't, and that's perfectly okay.
Hi @humanintraining
I do like your honesty I do have a bad fear of death for along time but haven’t had it for about a year but I just fear terminal illness and I know it’s because of the way I lost my mum... otherwise I probably wouldn’t have it
Thanks so much for your time replying to my post everyone deals with things different than others don’t they
Nat
Still fearful Nat? Are you alright already with the fact your days are numbered? The number of healthy days fleeting and uncertain? Do you enjoy every day enough? Do you appreciate your days for how valuable they are, given the perspective I just provided? Embrace the end for it makes the beginning and road that much more vital.
I would NEVER TELL SOMEONE TO MAN UP Dear Girl If I were you I’d probably....,, who knows it’s snot about me.
Thing is I work in care, it’s a terrible job sometimes for many reasons, BUT, and this works for me When I feel Too Old,Tired,Hate the Stress at home!! Worried rigid on how to deal with my problems, procrastination again on my least favourite jobs
IF THIS IS ME SHOOT ME. NO ITS ME, EMOTIONAL AND OUT OF CONTROL
Remember this is emotional stuff.
We are more than our emotions Take Money
The problem with money or lack of it, there is none!!
Find Solutions Work out What’s Next, One Thing at a Time
You see How I see it, it’s my Idea on the problem, deep rooted or otherwise. Which is the Problem!
Shopping aaagg I hate it I’m a poor example of a female. How do I cope, Make a list. What ever the problem bite size bits will be a start Avoid perfectionism Have a go Imagine me trying false eyelashes Hell I’d hav a laugh trying Well it would be entertaining for the Dears in the Care Home!
And, wr still 6 foot above the ground, join the human race, and Understand the DEARS would love to have the luxury freedom and liberty to have our problems. All the best.
I read your posts about health anxiety and I was very moved by your story. I don't know what triggered the start of my health anxiety like you do, but it's had a crippling effect on my life and the ability to make and keep friends. I can't stand exposure to any medical information. Even seeing the c word triggers my anxiety, like it did today at work. I understand now that this anxiety is not as rare as I thought. Stay strong, Nat.
Hi @elderspectrum thanks for your reply and you are so right when you say crippling effect that’s exactly how to describe it as crippling in the same I can’t cope with anything medical and the c word freaks me out hugely
Thanks so much for your support always here if u need a chat
Nat x
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