I'm worried that I will mess up my son. I guess by how i act or something. I just want to be the best mom to him I can so he isn't effected
Son : I'm worried that I will mess up... - Above & Beyond - ...
Son
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I can understand that feeling. I don’t have children (yet) but this thought crosses my mind because I know I learned a lot of negative patterns from my parents. I think if you’re aware of it, you’re one step ahead.
Hey there
Don’t be too hard on yourself we all want the best for our kids and suffering what we do isn’t what we want our kids to go through but then we never wanted it either did we.. I’m sure you are the best mom and just be you honey I’ve never let my daughter see me have bad anxiety I’ve always shielded her from it but now she’s grown up and left home she gets anxiety herself anyway all we can do as moms is be ourselves and do our best our kids will love us no matter what
Nat
There's no such thing as a good parent. There's only "a good enough" parent. Odds are your part of that group, since you worry about it and posted here.
Your job, as a parent, is to prepare him to be a functioning adult. Everything else, what he wants, what you want, those are details.
Boarding school, holiday camps, hobbies, will help with social skills you can't train in him. If he's focussed on only you, he'll be "programmed" for lack of a better word, to respond and manipulate you. I know I manipulated my mother and grandparents, but am socially awkward otherwise, due to lack of those experiences.
Everything else, you should provide: a quiet place to study, a place where he can invite his friends, a good school, food, clothes, access to books, the internet, a way of transport (bike + bus money), and...
The right mindset. Don't spoil him, don't pamper. Teach him to love, warn him that it rarely lasts. Teach him atleast, laundry, cooking, cleaning while also making him realise, you do those things for him so he can pursue knowledge.
Long story short. Make an adult out of him. He'll be thankful for 50 years. Instead of for a few.. if you do it good enough. Always believe in him, don't always agree or steer him. Some lessons he needs to learn on his own.
Good luck. You'll do fine, don't mess him up. If he's not happy, well good. He'll be happier as an adult for having everything he lacks now.
If your son thinks you tried your best, you win by default. Good luck.
I think ur son will learn that u r a brave an strong person,he will see how to and not treat others with similar issues and it will also make him a better person in our world.