What is this feeling?

[JHope_Potter]

This is my first post so please bare with me.

Recently I’ve been feeling strange? I’ve felt no motivation to do anything. I’ll end up completing assignments for school or will sometimes not do them at all. I find myself questioning my purpose in life and feel that if I were gone, that nobody would care. I seem to have a pretty great life:

A loving family

Semi good grades

Etc

But I also notice things that other people think I don’t know. I have a friend with anxiety that I have to watch out for. My parents will sometimes argue late at night and think that I don’t know, but I can here every word that they say.

I sometimes find myself feeling empty to say the least. If sometimes find it hard to smile and will often not tell others my emotions for fear of burdening them. I feel like I don’t matter in the world. An example would be today in the morning:

My sister started getting mad at me because I move a lot at night and I told her that” I can’t control it”. She got madder for some reason and started kicking, punching, and hitting me. I couldn’t do anything because she is younger that me. I couldn’t hit her back and my parents were busy, so I chose not to tell them. After a while I started to cry ( I never cry unless I’m by myself ) and my sister was right next to me, but she didn’t do anything to try and console me, nobody did. Whenever someone else cries, I’m the one that always finds themselves hugging the person, holding them, etc..., but when I cry, nobody notices(it’s obvious when I cry because I start to hyperventilate, my every get puffy, and I get a stuffy nose.)

Also, recently I’ve found myself spending days alone with nobody. Is this just in my head? Am I being lazy? What is this feeling?

[Hidden]

I totally understand how you feel, like you said you are there for other people but they arent there for you. Do you let people hug you? younger siblings are naturally selfish its normal, she must feel the tension between your parents too. Have you got any grandparents or any adults you can trust?

[JHope_Potter in reply to Hidden]

Hmmm, not really. My grandparents are in another country along with any aunts and uncles. And I don’t really have a deep connection with any adult.

[Hidden in reply to JHope_Potter]

You seem to be taking on too much for your age, you definitely need support, I suggest you go to the doctors and tell them you dont have any adults you can talk to

[pink318]

Hello- Welcome to the forum!

I understand how you feel because I’ve been in that situation. I’m willing to listen to my friends’ problems when they need someone to talk but when I need someone, no one is there for me. Thankfully, my husband is always there to encourage me. I'm sorry that no one is there to help you, please know that we are here for you. Please stay in the forum. Try to talk to someone you can trust or if you think you need more help, try to seek medical help.

Praying for you, please feel better soon and stay strong. God bless.