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Is there something wrong with me?

Hi this is my first post and I’m hoping to receive some input. I’m a 23 female & This post may be all over the place because how I’m feeling is all over the place currently and I’m not sure if there is something particularly wrong with me or what is going on but I have been feeling this way for awhile. I feel that could have possible depression and anxiety disorder but I’m not totally sure I may just be over thinking things.

through out everyday I am often very lethargic. I used to sleep around 12 hours everyday which just made me super tired throughout the day and I have always had these puffy bags under my eyes and wonder why if I’m getting enough sleep. So I have tried to rearrange my sleep schedule getting around 8-10 hours of sleep per night, but I still have the feeling of being tired throughout almost everyday. I have very low energy, don’t feel like getting out of bed most days, when I do get out of bed I’m usually very moody and have to force myself to try to be in a good mood. In a lot of situations talking to new people or even sometimes people I know well makes me uncomfortable and anxious. I’m always pretty fidgety or shaky. I’ve had this weird thing happen where sometimes my face will feel really hot and feel like it’s twitching when talking to people at random times which is really odd to me. Ive always been pretty awkward but have felt I’ve grown out of some of my tendencies. The only time I really feel like going out with friends anymore is to the bar.

I have also been struggling with this feeling of not being good enough. I’ve had a boyfriend of almost 2 years who decided to end things with me and it has made me uncontrollably cry for weeks at random moments & the feeling that he could care less about me consumes my thoughts. Someone that you love and have tried so hard to be the best for them decides to break you off like you’re just nothing. How could they do that? I feel very alone, all my friends are in relationships & barely talk to me anymore. Idk how to make new friends I feel like people just can’t connect with me. I feel like my bf was my only friend and without him i don’t have anyone & I don’t want to do anything. The thought of him being with someone else makes me want to die. I honestly am afraid of how I will feel if that moment comes.

I often find myself very jealous of other people as well.

I also very overwhelmed with my job and have to convince myself not to quit everyday. I just don’t care about it at all. I feel a lot of the time my life has no meaning and I’m always going to feel like I’m not good enough. I have no motivation & no ambition.

3 Replies
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It sounds like depression but idk im sorry i cant help

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Hello,

That sounds like a difficult and hard time and you have my deepest sympathies. It sounds a little like a mix of depression and anxiety order, although I am not a doctor of medicine so I can not be sure, I am just talking from personal experience. Have you chatted with a doctor and or good friends to let them know how you are doing. It is never easy to do, but I have found that my really good friends have helped in ways I never thought they would, sometimes just knocking on my door and say how are you and giving me a bowl of soup was enough to help. Happy to chat if you think that would help, but congratulations on having the courage to post on this site and let people know how you are feeling - shows your inner strength and, even though it may not feel like it, it is also a step towards change

Reply

Sweetheart, you have been through a lot and your heart can only take so much. It's ok to grieve the loss of your boyfriend and question what to do next with your life. Part of you died when the relationship ended and it will take some time to rebound and get back on track. Be kind to yourself and take the pressure off any expectations you have. This is temporary, and no doubt you will learn a lot about yourself, and why healthy relationships are essential to our worth as people.

I think a real easy thing for you to consider would be to get checked by a "functional doctor specializing in endocrinology" in your area and have some blood work done along with a saliva test to reveal what is going on inside your body. There are specific reasons why a person can have these kinds of emotions and sometimes it's just a matter of finding out your options for changing them. I got checked, and my life is completely different now. I do get bouts of fear, especially when it has to do with my health, so I lean heavily on those who love me so it will not ruin me.

Feel free to write back if you'd like.

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