Tiredness, Anxiety and Impostor Syndrome - ... - Above & Beyond

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Tiredness, Anxiety and Impostor Syndrome - Any one else have these things at once?

Elmodfz
Elmodfz

This will be long post as I need to put it out there. I posted for the first time several months ago (before Christmas) and the outcome of my GP appointment was that I had moderate depression and anxiety. Many things have changed since then, I left my partner of 5 years because the relationship was toxic, I quit my job because that was the biggest cause of depression, stress etc (I was a teacher), and I moved 100 miles away from home to start a new job/life/chapter. I did have 3 sessions of CBT which didn't help at all.

The tiredness had been a constant presence last year, and I put that down to depression/stress etc. The last several months I've really noticed it come back to the point where I don't even want to get up to go to work, then while at work all I want to do is finish early and sleep. Doesn't matter how long I sleep for, I will be tired when I get up. It's making me irritable as well, which results in me snapping at my new partner a lot and that's not fair.

The anxiety I've not paid much attention to but again it's always there. I've read up more about it and I definitely have a problem with over thinking, being indecisive, being impatient and irritable etc.

Now for the big one. I have a series case of impostor syndrome and have done since being offered this new job back in October. I'm a research assistant in a lab and every day I think "why am I here? why did I get the job over candidates who has PhD's?" I don't understand the work I'm doing, I just do it and get results. I follow the instructions set out for me, get the work done and then go home. My job isn't stressful or difficult which is good. I feel like I don't belong as such.

All 3 of these things together is making life more difficult. I have no job satisfaction, I don't know if I want to stay in this line of work, I don't know what I want out of life, yet I want to travel, work in different places etc. I worry about regretting not doing things in life when I'm much older.

I have been to the GP, and will be having bloods done on Wednesday to see if there is a cause for the tiredness, and I have some other tests to do too relating to diet as that might be a cause.

Sorry this has been so long! I don't expect any replies really, just needed to write this down and see it.

1 Reply

The paragraph where you said I don’t know what I want out of life wanting to travel and worrying about regretting not doing things later in life . Really struck a chord with me , I feel like this all the time , made even more poignant by the death of my grandma. I don’t want to sit there in my old age wishing, I want to remember doing .. but when you have anxiety it makes it difficult to move out of your comfort zone and especially if you feel unwell a lot of the time .. I guess this is where I try to turn things around by appreciating small things like how green everything looks this time of year , how blue the sky’s been .. taking time to listen to the birds and just enjoying the moment. I think you might find mindfulness helpful , give it a go what have you to loose . We can’t change the past and we can’t really control the future, only make the best of the time here and now .

I think you have already been brave moving and changing jobs . That takes a strong mind . I hope your tests come back fine too.

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