Hi, I am turning 17 next month and female, I currently go to high school and for around a year or two I have been experiencing symptoms, from my own knowledge and research of many different mental health disorders, but I still have no clue what I could have. Basically when it first started out I was experiencing feelings of depression, eventually followed out by feelings of being unattached and dissociated from myself and the world around me. Sometimes things would feel as if they are not real and I would then begin to question major things concerning the world, time, and feelings such as "is this stuff is worth it or not". All in all just a very strange thought process and ideas that were quite distressing to me. It went away a couple months ago, but it has just come back in some form. This time round affecting my emotions leaving me feeling quite apathetic. I am also finding myself feeling quite a bit less confident than I used to and much less motivated. I still feel very disconnected from myself and the world, as if something is just not quite right. I do not feel as present and as real as I should, very kind of blended in and neutral in a sense. I am feeling a little self conscious in a way, quite often worry about what others will think. I dislike kids my age, quite frankly they make me quite angry. I somewhat feel superior and more mature than others. I feel as if I see the world in a different way to others, clearer. I find myself quite self conscious/afraid, or I guess you could say shy and hold myself back in fear of judgment of my peers. I overthink A LOT. I also hate conflict. I also experience some sort of bad memory or memory loss. I also find it very hard to concentrate ad do my schoolwork, followed by a concerning lack of stress and motivation.
Sorry for the long post! I am just really hoping to get some answers or some direction of where this could be coming from or what it is.