Feeling empty and frustrated

[Bex92]

Hi I've read a post similar to my situation but it's not quite giving me the answer to my problem

I have depression and anxiety, haven't been to he doctors to have it diagnosed but I know I have them, depression runs in my family and my anxiety has been caused by family constantly bullying me since a young age. The reason I've not had it diagnosed is I'm petrified of doctors, I don't have friends, every time I seem to make a friend they use and abuse me to the point I'm now isolated as my last ones literally walked out in me because that had a child and I was no longer in their league and if no use.

My family still bully and pressurise me into doing things I'm not interested in or things I am but fate hasn't quite worked in my favour for example I have an auntie who keeps telling me it's about time I had a boyfriend an this doesn't help my depression as I do wish I had one but no boys have ever been interested in me (unless it was to be a goalie back when I was in school).

I work a job I absolutely despise and I feel trapped in because I have financial commitments and my parents would be less than impressed, I'm also trying to start my own business which I love doing but it's taking such a long time and I'm having my family nagging me about it and putting me down, I'm also doing a home course which I've almost completed but I'm being pressured to complete by my mum, I feel as though I've got too much in my plate as it is.

Then there's dogs, I have 3 and my brother has one which means there's 4 dogs as well as 4 cats and they obviously need looking after, I'm struggling to get the dogs out due to work and getting all the jobs done, not only that but mess gets created by the animals as well as us and I'm generally left to clean as if my parents come home and there's a mess I'm getting a telling off but my brother never does, just me, I do try my best but there's just so much to do around the house and in my own life it's feeling impossible, I do have hobbies but struggle to find the time to include them, there is also a couple I'd like to try but again time is an issue as well as motivation.

I just feel so lost and empty and have no one to talk to about it, I've tried talking to my parents but they're either not interested or they tell me to stop complaining, sometimes they may stop and let me get things I need to do done but then that don't last too long

I currently just hate my life and I don't see a way out

[Hidden]

I know it's hard and while your issues are not like mine, it seems like you are very much like a friend I helped. BTW, I'm no counselor! However, she was living with someone mean to her, had a ton of pets (as do I) and she couldn't afford where she lived and hated her job. I suggested she step back and reimagine her life and get the courage to just change it. We went through the steps and she went and actually did it! First off, if you live somewhere expensive move somewhere not so or if you don't like where you're at, just leave. She dumped the mean guy she lived with and just up and moved from California to Oregon (she knew absolutely nobody there). I suggested because she loved pets so much she consider being a groomer so she totally dropped her insurance business which she hated and started a dog grooming business. A year later, she lived somewhere else, works somewhere else, has a whole new set of people in her life and still has the pets.

It takes bravery and a bit of a leap of faith and things may not work out so you try again until you get it right. The important thing to remember is the thought of being stuck is an illusion.

[Bex92 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response

So I guess what your saying is, I should just continue in setting up my business and get out when the first opportunity arises and this feeling of frustration and emptiness is just a bump in the road

[Hidden in reply to Bex92]

That does sound like a good approach. I really think the frustration and emptiness will abate as you make progress towards your business goal. However, you might consider removing the negative family out of your life. It doesn't sound like they've been too kind. I've had to do that myself.