Is this depression

[Strawberry_shortcake]

Ok so I went through something traumatic last summer I was tricked into calling the police on my father who used to brutally hit Me he abused me mentally and physically and my mum never stood up forme till the end she started to sort of stand up for me when me dad almost killed me but it was too late.

so I reported him and this girl told me to do it we were highschool friends and we stayed in touch she lied to me and told me that if I reported my father I can go live outside London with her and I'd get an apartment there and live alone ( which by the way when I did go up there she never visited me I spent many nights in a youth home alone when I'd ask her to come visit she's laugh and say she'd never step foot there ) and I can study there mean while she lived with her dad.

She said she was doing all this to help me but at the same time she would say things like I can't wait for you to live up here you can help me loose weight we can go gym together you can teach me how to dress and your"so social" "everybody likes you" "your so beautiful your going to be so popular" "you can teach me all the things about you" I felt like an experiment to her and it was too late to go back as I already reported my dad.

While hearing that my dad was arrested​ my mum cried alot like alot shed call me and tell me to get home and that she missed me Nd my dad missed me too. I had no comfort the girl would tell me to stop being sad or stop acting like a baby all summer I did not cry once my emotions were gone.

Ok so eventually I returned​ home after a month of summer.

Ever since I came back I haven't spoken about it or told anyone what I went through now I've forgotten who I am I've become quite less social and everything around me so so boring I'm not depressed I smile Nd laugh but the traffic thing is that I don't enjoy the things I used to I've become a complete new person I have no motivation and I was known for someone who took pride in her appearance now I look a mess even when I try sometimes I don't recognise myself if the mirror. I used to be so.confident and outspoken.

I don't know what wrong with me

I'm sorry for my grammar I was never good in school.

[GillyB46]

If you went home then would your Dad still be there? If not, and you can trust your Mum to be on your side, then consider going home. If you can't go home then are there any relatives you could stay with?

You definitely need support at the moment. I hope you manage to find some.

Oh, by the way, consider whether this girl is a real friend or just a user. Good Luck. xxx

[Hull-trans]

Sadly some people just can't help being right bastrds, excuse my language,

Sounds like the girl is a little bit jealous, tell her you'd like to meet up for coffee, and tell her that the relationship with you and her is over unless she stops being spiteful, and if she's got nothing nice to say, get lost, or if you can't speak to her, just totally ignore her, all text don't even read just delete, phone calls don't answer, she'll soon get the message, or you could write to her,tell her how much she's hurt you,

You could also do the same with your dad, either talk face to face,or write tell him how much he hurt you, if you write to him you could arrange to meet up for coffee somewhere neutral to you both, after he's read the letter, if he comes to meet you, then start from there, that'll be a beginning,

Hope my two penneth helps,

[Strawberry_shortcake in reply to Hull-trans]

I hate everything about myself I'm planning to just die I know people are going through worse but it doesn't take away from what I'm going through. I tried to speak to a counsellor but my dad doesn't want me to go there but he doesn't even help me himself and he thinks I should just pray and give it all to god and all this pain will go away but ive been trying that for 3months now I'm still useless and helpless. I don't want to be on earth anymore