I've become so depressed recently.. i spend all day trying not to cry and whilst in school i spend all day staring at the walls not really knowing whats going on, thinking about how badly i want to kill myself. i cut my self, and i just feel like i cant even deal with things anymore. i want to talk to someone and to go to a doctor but i'd have to tell my parents and i'm scared they would see me differently but its really affecting my school work and i'm making all the people i care about leave and i don't know what to do...
ugh: I've become so depressed recently... - Above & Beyond - ...
ugh
You need to have contact with someone who is going through exactly the same thing or better still someone who has been in this position a couple of years, they will tell you how they cope with it and THERE IS a way of coping, but don't expect it to be easy and be prepared for painful hours.
A few things I would say to you though, please go and see your doctor, medication for mental health issues helps a lot, though it takes a few weeks to take effect. You are not alone in this, there are thousands out there with big mental problems - check out this site or half a word with your pharmacist to see how many take medication, life is hard, mentally take that in and over time be content with it to be the case. Lastly just take one day at a time, make sure you get through the day which is only several hours, hard at times but allow your endurance and resilience to build up and that will always be there to help you.