abandoned

[bazilbrush6906]

Hi, i am a male of 27 years suffering with moderate depression and anxiety since i was a small child. Basically all of my remembered life, No one knew, or suspected anything as my family allowed me to 'fall back' and pick myself up in my own time without questioning why. About a year ago i went down the route of doctors and to cut a long story short the conversation went aslong the lines of this 'i really need to see someone asap as i now cannot cope and i am suicidal but just not brave enough yet'...........'ok well we can see you in three months?'

This is already after being discharged from their service after 1 appointment no show. No call or letter.

WTF??? And the appointments i did have were me just telling him how i felt and then he wrote it down and said see you in three months. Yea, if im alive.

Well now i really am brave enough. My stresses have overwhelmed me and now im not scared. Recently there has been a big thing where the government want men to come forward with their mental health issues. Well it would help if anyone listened.

I now cant work, i dont want to leave the house, i dont want to keep asking for help over and over again. infact i wont. Ive lost my battle and ive made my decision. Ive asked for help and disclosed my suicidal urges but all i get is see you in three months. I dont expect anyone to listen or care as no one has yet and im not asking for it. If nothing else this post will show the world after im gone that the problem isnt men being proud, its the NHS not giving a rats.

Good luck to all sufferers out there

over and out

adam

[Hidden]

Hi there x ive just read your blog and want to let you know that im here to listen to you xxx I know how you are feeling as I suffer from depression and no one understands how you are feeling inside but you need help and support and you must feel so frustrated that you are asking for help and feel no one is listening.

Ive tried accessing help for mental health problems and there doesn't seem much there but yesterday I went online and have referred myself for counselling with 'talking change' which I have used their services before and it really does help you feel better , when I used these before I had to be referred by gp but now it should be a lot quicker so please try them .

Has your GP prescribed you any medication yet ? if not call them today and insist you need anti depressants asap which will also make you feel better.

Please stay strong and let me know how you get on xxxxx

[Iluvhorses]

Hi, I hope you're still around. I felt the same way before I became a Christian. I'm not trying to force anything down your throat, but my faith is the only thing that makes me happy. Maybe you should try it.

[Fixme83 in reply to Iluvhorses]

I'm sorry but really how do you "try faith?" Seriously.  If you believe then you believe and if you don't you do what.... fake it til you make it? I just don't see how you can try faith at all. You must believe or faith is a fascade

[bazilbrush6906 in reply to Fixme83]

Thanks for the message mbvu but I agree with Fixme83. Faith is great for those who truly believe in a higher being but i dont. I was brought up to question things and i could never question science and whats proven. Each to their own but i feel better believing that no one is higher than me and that i am the controller of my own destiny. Peace x

[Hidden]

Hi!!! I'm also tried to commit suicide but I'm still a woos. I just want to let you know that your not alone. No one is alone in this......

[bazilbrush6906 in reply to Hidden]

Glad your still here fighting the fight! Mental health can go and get pooped on from a great height :))

[Iluvhorses]

I'm sorry, but I didn't know if you believed or not. I should have asked.

[Dbno]

hi Adam

so sorry that you had such a bad experience with your mental health workers.  After reading your post I am so glad that you are still with us. I hope that you are doing better.

Have you managed to speak to your doctor and get some help?

Are you managing to get out and about now?

I do hope that you are feeling a bit better.

Just remember it is good to talk/type - I'm new to this community and I think that it is great resource.  SO just remember we are all here for you and you are valued - just from  your post you are making a difference as  people will read it and you could help someone too.  so keep ya chin up sunshine

[bazilbrush6906 in reply to Dbno]

Im better than i was. Ive had a diagnosis of type 2 bipolar with psychosis and put on stabaliser drugs aswell as the tranquilisers, anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs so i am no longer on the rollercoaster of death. I dont have emotion at all but ive never hadf control over my emotions anyway so to me its a good thing. ive decided i am never getting married or having children as i dont want anyone to 'put up' with me and i dont want to pass this on genetically, the same way i ended up with it.  emotions are stupid human faults that change the way we act or think and im better without them. Ive embraced my illness and quite like being 'feckin bonkers' and am using it to open up my life. Do the things that used to scare me, try new things always and most importantly i will never ever let anyone shit on me again EVER.

Im on the path and here i plan to stay or die trying. :))