Can anyone relate to this

[tim16]

Hi this is the first time I have posted on here, I feel like my problem is unique, which doesn't help. I don't like the shape of my head!! I know it sounds strange, it is strange. Everyone around me cannot see what I se. It's a thought I think about and it gets worse and worse and end up me thinking the worse possible scenario like I'm going to end losing everything and ending up in a mental hospital. I have missed out a lot of the thinking process I go through to get to that state but it's mentally and physically exorsting. I get so tired that I just want to give up and end it, it seems the easy option rather than been unhappy and it's so emotionally painful,I need constant reassurance from my loved ones that this isn't going to happen. I just feel alone and wondered if anyone else has the same kind of thought process as me. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Hidden]

I have found flaws in myself that no one else said they could see. But deep down I think they just are as lying. Not saying they are but that is what it feels like. For example being someone with an eating disorder I see things differently than most people do anyway. I'm 95 pounds and thinking about going to 90 again. But no one around me can see why.

Maybe ask yourself what if your head was really shaped strange. How could anyone fix it and how would they treat you any different? I tell myself - so what if people think I am fat being 95 pounds and 5'5" - I'm going to be fat whether they think it or not. When anyone using logic would say anyone my size is not fat. What if they did? So I would say to the mirror- I am fat and I don't care. So if you have a strange shaped head-'say you do and then say so what if I do?

This likely is a symptom of some sort of anxiety related illness for you. I hope you feel better soon

[tim16 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Aspen2015, I am feeling a bit better about myself I have been put on medication to help with my low mood and its helping a bit I also hope it's me too getting stronger and been able to control the thought a little better, I had OCD when I was 8 to 14yrs old and I think because I never delt with it or got help, well my parents tried to get me help but there wasn't a lot of help out there, appointments 6 wks apart and I wasn't attending school because I was carrying out repetitive rituals from getting up to going to bed. But I have always thought my head was a weird shape but I'm told something must have triggered me obsessing about it and like I said before, That thought just goes wild and we'll I just think I carn't live the rest of my life trying to beat it, it's so scary. I know there's no such thing as normal I just want to get to the stage were I can manage this and enjoy life as much as possible, Thank you for your comment, it is very helpful. I hope you feel much better soon.

[RubySoup]

It sounds like you have BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) which is just a fancy way of saying you are preoccupied with some perceived flaw real or imagined. I had it as a teenager. I thought I was weird looking because I wasn't liked by other people and thought there was something wrong with my face. I even had plastic surgery as an adult but I have come to realize, there is nothing wrong with me other than I am overly sensitive about my appearance. I don't know how old you are or if you are male or female but we all go through awkward stages where maybe we do look funny for a time. It passes. Try experimenting with different hair styles or hats and see if you really look or feel different. Take selfies and study them to see what would make you more comfortable with your look. I am sure there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves but remember your friends are probably more concerned with their own appearance than yours and maybe that is why they don't see what you see. I used to obsess about say a pimple on my face. It would get bigger and bigger in my mind but what I didn't realize was that it only mattered to me. Everyone else was worrying about their own pimple. Best of luck to you and try not to freak out. You are as normal as they come.