Above & Beyond


i don't know who to turn to, i normally don't trust people or open up to people. when i was younger lot of people took advantage of me in so many ways. and i never saw anything wrong with it because i craved the love. i loved the affection then my dad left and he was my role model i looked up to him and he got up and left us. after that finding love became so hard its like i forced myself not to believe in it but i wanted it find someone who would genuinely love me. and then boy after boy they hurt me. left me for someone else. obviously that alone messed up my confidence made me feel as though i would never be good enough for anyone. so i closed my heart well tried until i met this amazing guy, who made me open up in ways i never have before made me so happy and he said he loved me and what not. he was willing to try make us work, then one day it was to much for him i guess. he couldn't do it he apologized and said in time when he was ready in the future he would come find me. it destroyed me its messed me up and since then ive lost myself, i thought it was jut the heart break of it. but ive really lost myself i cant eat or sleep and i don't have control over how i feel, i started to overdose in anyway possible hopping i would just go. it hurt and it wasn't the heart break it was my whole past coming back to me and its damaging me in ways i cant explain i have no control in what i done minute i am trying to be positive the next my world comes crumpling down i cant stop crying i cut myself to the blood flows so much i think its my tears. i don't know what to do i need help because i cant hold on for much longer

2 Replies

I'm so sorry to hear this you have had a lot of let downs but you are made of stronger stuff and you will get through this , you know life is full of ups and downs and it makes us stronger and wiser and we can look back and think I got on with my life through difficult times and good things are round the corner. You do need to visit the doctor who can put you through to a counsellor. If you ever need to talk straight away the Samaritans are great. Also I am here if you want to talk. Just focus on yourself for now do things that you enjoy, and find yourself again.you can do it x


I've just read your post, and you may think things are hopeless, and that you will never find love again, but you are talking and that's a great start. Frequently even those we love can struggle with supporting people with depression, that's why it's good to talk to people outside your family, who can care and support you, but won't take it onboard emotionally.

Please talk to your doctor, and if there someone who knows your situation you can take them with you. Talking is one of the best therapies if not the best! Hopefully he will be able to offer you counselling or other therapy that will help you cope.

The Samaritans are great also. Anytime day or night, and you can ring them as any times as you want or need to. You can say whatever you want, and it helped me when there was no one else, and it helped because I didn't have to look at them or try to be brave. Try not to cut yourself, I know it helps at the time but you'll regret it if it becomes a habit. Adrenaline can help a lot. You may have to force yourself but vigorous exercise helps put things into perspective, even if only for a short while. keep talking, there is also a very good website run by MIND called" elefriends "where you can get lots of support from people all ages, cultures etc. I find it brilliant! take care of yourself, and don't forget keep talking about it, as it loses its power over you when it's in the open!


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