Above & Beyond

The black thought are back

I feel lost, lonely, tired and afraid. I am spiralling in to a black hole again. This is the , lowest I have ever been and I am falling faster than I can count. I am here on my own and my head is spinning trying to ward off the deamons who make me want to go and do it!!! My strength is slowly but deffo getting so tired of all the thoughrs in my head. I have been to the doctors and they have added another antidepressant to my full stack that im taking already. My mind is in a very dark place and there is no light that I can see. Bit by bit I am loosing my grip, falling down and down so fast. I am not sure what or where I will hit but im afraid.. I am so scared of doing something and 1 of my kids finding me. I feel like a heavy burden on them and for myself also I just want to get out of here once and for all. God forgive me for doing this, its the easy way out but the black hole is drowning me and I can't fight it anymore..

4 Replies

just read your post. what can I say?

We keep on reminding ourselves that depression is an illness itself. Please try to see this month as a relapse, and that eventually remission will come.

Depression is as much painfull as migraines or arthritis, just in a different way, and like arthritis pain it can be bloody awful sometimes for days, but it does change and can get better for weeks at a time.

Please do find anyone who can help you through and lend some strength.

Use whatever distractions you can, an accupuncture for the mind.

We need all the butterflies we can.... ((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))). A


Reading your story has helped me a lot. I could identify with every sentiment you wrote. I could reply with trite statements that we've all heard before but they rarely help. The toughest thing in the world, our world, is to carry on and push through this torment. reading your post you see the sadness and trauma that would be felt in your wake and that adds to the stress your bear. All I can say to you is that it took you a hgreat deal of strength to write down your feelings and it made me feel a tiny bit better. Please be around and help, I think the world is more valuable with you than without you. We have a difficult burden but there are good things around us it is just hard for us to see them at present. use the pills if they work, talk if it helps, excersize if you can but most of all believe that you will improve


You could also help me to spell too!!


Thank you for your wise words and believe me i am not great at spelling also..Yes i was feeling so down and as you said we usually hear the pull yourself together and tomorrow is another day, yet some don't understand that getting threw 1 bad day takes so much strength and also help. I have been off for a while as i have had the flu and been in bed for a while but i am happy to say that i am feeling so much better and i am so very thankful for your replys...Yes we all need each other and i will continue to help out as much as i can..Thank you very much for replying as it means so much

Kazza x