Anxiety and depression

[EmDavis27]

Been suffering a long time with depression and anxiety. I have pushed a lot of the people I care most about away. Extremely Afraid now when I’m pretty sure I know the problem, understand why/when/where it manifested, what I need to do to try and make things better, it’s too late on their end, I’ve done so much damage I’m terrified I’m going to lose them, it’s creating more anxiety and now I feel a time clock on the urgency I need on my recovery time setting me BACK even more BEEN SO CONCERNED WITH HOW I’VE been feeling, I HAVE NEGLECTED EVERYTHING THEY HAVE TOO...I DO NOT BLAME THEM AT ALL, THEY HAVE BEEN BEYOND PATIENT WITH ME!!! Looking for another avenue to put my problems & concerns, get advice, and can feel I’m not so alone/crazy

[Hidden]

Hi EmDavis. My mum used to tell to not worry to much if I got things wrong with other people as long as at some point I made amends. It does sound like you do need some alternative support for a while. I have found samartains really helpful to chat to and I like the fact that nothing is written down on paper and it is anonymous. You might however want to observe for yourself if talking is really helping or if it is increasing your anxiety, just something to notice. Some body called Jon Kabot Zinn does some really good mindfulness CDs for all kinds of health issues including depression, he is well worth making use of as are any local meditation groups. It can also be really helpful to learn to not show the signs of anxiety physically. I know this sounds strange but hiding your symptoms can really help you learn to manage the feelings, as they tend to escalate the more you react to them or often when you try to get help from others. Some people go for a run in the park instead or I go and lie down and listen to music. How is your health generally? I am currently taking some 5htp for a bout of feeling low and am finding it really helpful. I am happy to chat on here for a while.I am a 54 year old mum of two boys and a dog. I used to work as a psychiatric nurse but retired early. I am interested in all things thyroid these days and like to write poems.

[EmDavis27]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! I have found that talking helps, hiding has been what has made me feel worse, full of shame, guilt, & like a fake...I’m not the type to hide my feelings and never have been until I fell to depression/anxiety. My health is not well nutritionally cause of the depression and anxiety so I’m sure I’m malnourished and I don’t sleep due to anxiety. So I have really done a number to my body as well as my family I WOULD LOVE ANOTHER OUTLET, I’ve been with my husband for 22 years, since high school, and he’s such a care taker and a fixer I’ve grown to rely on him TOO MUCH...I can’t begin to imagine the work and stress load I’ve put on him over all this time! I’m so afraid it’s been too much and terrified I can’t be what he needs or wants. He fell in love with a confident person that took care of him and our 2 babies until a certain time, instead became a needy, self conscious, lazy drain on him Honestly, he should’ve left a long time ago, but it’s not in his nature, he sticks, and he will! I don’t want him here cause he feels he has to be, I want him here cause he wants to be, I him happy, I want to be happy, and I want us to be happy together, he deserves that and so much more!

[Hidden]

Hi For depression I smoke medical weed and it works great for me

[EmDavis27 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the advice and what helps you, but weed always made me paranoid and I don’t think that would help my anxiety. I could see if helping my depression though