Im Carl, I'm new here, This is a long one so I apologise in advance. I have an almost 16 year old son, who wants to loose 9lb to get to 9st 7lbs, I'm concerned he is not eating enough and is excercising too much and its become an obsesion of calories and fat intake. He eats an average 1600 calories a day based on a 7 day average, I dont think this is enough with the amount of excercise he is doing daily, and according to his fitbit he is burning an average of 3,150 calories a day on a 7 day average, Ive tried to explain to him that he if he sat and did nothing, his body requires 2400 calories to perform basic functions such as circulation, breathing, digseting etc, but as you can see he is burning more calories than he is consuming by 100% so I'm worried, he is putting his health at risk, he cant understand the logic, as he has read he needs to burn more than he consumes to create a calorie deficit to some extent he is correct, but as you can see from the figures above he isnt leaving sufficient calories for necessary body functions, he also thinks that he would have to eat such volumes of food to get the correct calorie intake, that he wont loose weight, he is hoping to join the marines so fitness is key, how do I explain to him why a certain amount of calories is necessary he can still loose weight and get fit by excercising. Today he ate porridge with 64g of oats, a full banana, and made with semi skimmed milk, he was making it with water but I have insisted he uses milk as he is missing out on calcium, and 20g of honey to sweeten, and a cup of green tea with 1 sweetner, lunch was 2 slices of best of both bread from a 400g loaf with marge and half a tin of beans and 2 clementines to finish, Dinner was special fried rice, with sweet and sour sauce this is a once weekly treat, so approx 1862 calories, by his reckoning, and he burned from excercise 2535, this is better as a result of much talking, we have asked him to reduce his excercise from 7 days a week to 3-4 max and to have rest days in between, where he does no excercise other than walking up and down stairs around the house, I understand he wants to get fit, but all the excercise he is doing is cardio, running skipping, walking, I dont have an issue with him excercising, I;m proud that he is so motivated, but want it to be healthy, and balanced, and not to do himself more harm than good, sorry for rambling, im just a concerned parent.
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carl01924
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Hello and welcome carl01924 i can understand your concern, teens can become somewhat obsessive 😕.
None of us are medically trained, or qualified to advise on the specifics of diet I’m afraid, we are just a peer to peer support group.
Does he go to a gym? Or have any input from PE teachers? I’m trying to think of someone he might listen to, as parents are often the people they’re least likely to listen to.
Here’s a link to the NHS BMI. Checker nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-we... which will suggest how much he should be eating, he may take more notice of that than you. Balance is also important, especially as a teen, ie protein and some good healthy fat, at every meal.
I feel for you, the internet is full of miracle “lose weight fast” charlatans, but it’s a physical impossibility, and as you say, he could make himself ill. 😕
Sorry I can’t help you any more, hopefully some of our members may have more insight
Hi indigoblue61, according to the link you kindly shared, at his current 10st 2lb he is in the 85th centile, anywhere between 7st 7lb and 10st 7lb falls between the 3rd and 90th centile all healthy apparently, I'm more than happy for him to get to 9st 7 as that is healthy I just worry the way he is going about it won't give him what he is trying to achieve and will actually have the opposite effect of loosing muscle rather than fat
Hi, Carl, teenagers have a tendency to dismiss what their parents are telling them - as part of growing up it’s quite an important developmental step 😊 what about trying to give him some information to read up? Such as research showing that reducing calorie intake may reduce how much energy the body uses, making it more difficult to lose weight? Suggesting some training methods, using either a personal trainer or various apps available, so he can follow them - they usually have several training days a week, rather than seven. He could choose something to follow out of the suggested ones and it would be his choice, not you imposing something on him, or trying to stop him from doing something. It could also help for him to talk to someone outside the family who he looks up to. Hope you will find the best way to help him.
If you were describing a young woman, my first thought would be anorexia.
But young men can suffer from it too.
Please, seek professional help. If my "diagnosis" is correct (note: I am not qualified in any way to diagnose psychiatric disorders), it's the one with the highest mortality rate, about 1 in 20.
If my diagnosis is wrong, then I think he might thrive on a low carb, high fat diet. I should also mention I am equally unqualified to give nutritional advice.
Sorry for the joking, but get him to someone who can see if he is OK.
Hi thanks for your reply, I don't think he is anorexic, his mindset is he wants to join the marines in 2 years time, and he knows he needs to be really fit, I just think he misunderstands calories in calories out is not cut and dry and I also think he misunderstands increasing strength and stamina does not mean loosing weight he is a healthy 10st 2lb and wants to be 9st 7lb so not much to loose, his current weight and goal weight are both within the 90th centile of healthy for age and height, he just can't get his head round and I'm not qualified to explain, why he needs to eat more calories to loose weight, buy eating the right things he is stuck in his head that calorie deficit equals weight loss, but doesn't get eating too little and burning too much is having the opposite effect of his goals.
If he wants to join the marines they might not accept him if he us to skinny, he needs to be muscular in appearance just to pass the first part of his acceptance programme. When he goes for his first interview he will have to do a very simple fitness test along with the interview, touch toes, pull ups, if they think he looks underweight or can't do any of those exercises 100% then he won't be accepted, I'm talking from experience by the way, although I did it over 30 years ago.
He might relate to Mark Sissons and the "Mark's Daily Apple" website. Mark was a top athlete and realised he was overdoing the training. It's become a bit commercial over the years (to the point that people started criticizing him) but ignore all the supplements on sale and follow the basic Primal principles. It's all about not over stressing and over dieting.
Your concerns are understandable. There's a lot of pressure for teens, now more so than ever to look a certain way.
Try not to worry to the best of your ability. Him seeing that it's not a big concern for you will help him relax. At worse, he'll get a little unwell and re-adapt as he learns. I'm sure he wouldn't intentionally make himself ill. That won't be his goal.
It's possibly important for him to understand that it's good to take care of ourselves, our health and appearance but that there's so much more to a person to love than what's on the outside.
When my son was at this stage we approached an army recruitment stand. From there he had a fantastic experience with advice on fitness, academic qualifications and life in general. He didn't eventually join up, but the life training has benefited him enormously. Has your son found a forces mentor? He'll have to learn to do as they say so it may help! Best wishes to him for success in his chosen career.
It’s just been said by Livbike but it sounds like he’d most likely listen to someone with military fitness in mind. Is he in the cadets or anything where they might be able to put him in touch with someone.
Many years ago my husband was training for army entrance and when it got to the medical they had concerns he could maintain a healthy weight with the PT demands (so unfair how he burns through food!) so even back then it was something they looked at.
Otherwise what about a qualified dietician? You might be able to get a one off session not too expensively and they could give him some guidance and you can frame it as supporting him to reach his goals rather than him feeling you’re trying to tell him to do things differently.
Hi thanks for taking the time to reply, he is a marine cadet but they are currently closed because of covid and the problem has only arisen during lock down
You may be panicking unnecessarily; as long as he is still energetic and keeping well in himself leave him to it.
Mildly overweight Trainee Marines are put on a far more strenuous diet that this. Probably better that he gets rid of his perceived extra now rather than later.
Also the more fit he is when he goes in, the less problems he will have.
I've had three teenaged boys who are now grown. Apart from respectfully suggesting to them they devote at least one day per week to doing no exercise at all, (to give their muscles rest and a chance to recover), I would leave them alone. It's part of teens' individuation project to take on responsibility for what they eat and how hard they exercise. More importantly, it's necessary for them to break free of their parents and to become adults in their own right. I'd be thrilled if my now 20-somethings were as motivated about diet and exercise as your son is. Good luck to all!
Lots of good advice. My two penn’orth says he is doing a lot of aerobic exercise which will give him a good cardiovascular system but he should replace a couple of aerobic exercise days with some weight training to help build muscle and strengthen his bones. It doesn’t have to be lifting weights, body weight alone gives a good work out e.g. squats (there are lots of variations to look up), press-ups, planks (again there are a multitude of them for side, back, stomach), tricep dips and bicep crunches - these are better with weights though.
Losing weight AND gaining muscle at the same time is difficult, plus when he does build muscle he will gain weight as muscle is a dense tissue. Note: muscle does not weigh more than fat. 5lb of muscle weighs the same as 5lb of fat, it just gives the body a different appearance, it sits better over the skeleton. Also by building muscle he will burn more calories as muscle uses them to work.
If I were him (I know, I know it would be better for him to find out for himself) instead of counting calories, I would be looking at my food and eating a nutritious higher good fat, medium protein and lower (But not very low at this stage) carbs. He is still growing and forming his skeleton so eating good food can only benefit his long term fitness goals. If he counts calories he is setting himself up for disappointment because the weight may come off initially but it often goes back once you stop. If he can find an eating programme he likes it will serve him better and with all the exercise he won’t need to count. One other thing is that it’s not just a case of calories in, calories out it’s the quality and what nutrition they provide. The link below also shows how the “law” of 3500 cals = 1lb off isn’t necessarily true.
I agree with much of this, but I can confirm from personal experience that you can lose bodyfat and gain muscle at the same time. Two meals a day (one very large one), high fat, low carb ... and 7 hours a day of exercise
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