fed up with being vilified and patronised because I am over weight.

Even books I love like the Potter series and David walliams rat burger has fat villians and their fatness is described as if it is part of what makes them such disgusting people ( Dudley In Harry Potter) My poor eight year old has to read this stuff and he is overweight. I am fed up with being patronised and treated as if I am stupid and lack intelligence by the government and NHS and the media who seem to think fat people need to be given the same useless advice about healthy eating over and over and over again as if the only reason we overeat is ignorance about what we should be eating and we are really thick so the message has to be said so many times. I am fed up with all the blame and fear mongering.

Being overweight for me is a very complex issues as I think it is for most people. It is partly genetics, partly addiction, partly for me abuse as a child.It has also been party caused by undiagnosed thyroid issues and chronic fatigue.It has been a bit about not being aware of appropriate portions sizes and food advertising. I also think that air pollution has a part to play as well as additives in our food. It is complex and not easily resolved. It is an illness like any other not a moral issue or an excuse to patronise or vilify and I have worked very hard for many years to resolve as much of the puzzle that has led to be being over weight as possible because I do believe in taking responsibility for my problems. I am worthy of respect like any other human and I am sick of being badly portrayed by all forms of media and people who are paid to help. I am wondering if a Fat Pride movement exists so I can go on a march or if there is some way we, as fatter people, can stick up for ourselves a bit better.

Any thoughts

[slimpickings 2 stone]

Stereotypes of any sort, be they related to race, gender, sexual orientation or indeed size are wrong. End of.

However, with regard to healthy eating, I was ignorant with certain food types. Not so much knowledge of what the really bad stuff was but how to make clever food swaps. I thought I was eating well because I bought nice food but it isn't the same and it has taken me a year to truly get my head round it all and I am still learning. I, like you, am not stupid either, I hold down a job which is challenging.

What you are describing is horrible and I know that your post will make the intelligent people on this forum think this morning. Thank you for sharing. Xx

[Hidden in reply to slimpickings]

Thanks slim pickings.

[Hidden]

Hi Hidden and welcome to the forum. I must admit I've not come across vilification or patronising on this forum, I think and hope we are all on here helping each other to get fit and healthy. For me the most important figure is not the one on the scales but the one on my BP monitor as the more weight I'm carrying the higher the number on the monitor. For me at least there is a direct correlation between my weight and my BP readings - I know everyone is different but for me being overweight has medical implications - my 59 year old brother recently had a stroke which was directly attributable to his high BP - getting and keeping my BP around 110/75 means I might avoid a stroke. Both my parents became obese once they left Scotland around the age of 40 and moved to the USA - this happened alarmingly quick. Both my mother and father developed type 2 diabetes my father died of a heart attack at age 64. Given my family medical history you can see my weight loss is not a vanity project it's a matter of trying to stack the odds in favour of not dying young(ish)!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I have not been vilified or patronised on this forum either and never intended to suggest I was. I was upset by a David Walliams book in particular and his offensive description of a fat person. If it were a black person he would be charged with hate crimes but fat people are expected to put up with prejudice. I do not want to lose weight for vanity reasons either. My hips and knee need replacing and I will be in a wheel chair before long if I dont lose weight. I take the health implications seriously but it is not a moral issue. I am not a bad or weak person because I am over weight. I do not deserve to be insulted or put down because of my weight and expect to be treated with respect like anyone else. Im sorry people dont agree and dont understand why. Hating yourself for being fat does not make you any thinner ( probably fatter in fact). Being hated by others does not help either.

[Cat33 Visitor in reply to Hidden]

I'm very sad that you are made to feel like it I totally agree if it was a black person it would be so wrong Discrimination of any kind makes my blood boil I have ginger hair and there is actually hate towards people with that colour hair and it's always joked about on tv Its so wrong it's the person inside that matters not the size or appearance

You keep smiling and anyone who has a negative attitude or puts you down is not worth your time you are better than them

You will always find nothing but kindness and support on this forum

You take lots of care of yourself we are all precious xx

[Hidden]

Hi Hidden ,

I agree with what you're saying. I'm a firm believer of a book shouldn't be judged by its cover.

If you're happy being overweight and I'm sure some people are, that's your choice, but the question I'm asking myself is, do you want to lose weight? If so, we are more than happy to help you.

I'm sure the way people look, is probably the main instigator for people wanting to lose weight, (it certainly was for me), but not to look good for others, but to improve my confidence and self-esteem. Being overweight always made me feel unattractive and ugly, despite being a friendly, warm person. However some people HAVE to lose weight for health reasons and I'm sensing if your knees are causing you discomfort, then maybe you need to do it for your wellbeing and to be active for your son. I have 4 kids and I know it's not easy, but once I started my weightloss journey I realised I was doing it for them as much as myself and hopefully by making the right food choices, it encourages them to be healthy too.

I think you're very honest and let us know if you want some support.

Have a great evening 😊

[Hidden]

Thanks for reply and maybe this forum is not the place to express frustrations. I cant see whether I want to lose weight or not is relevant. Are you saying I should only post to ask for support to lose weight and not discuss other weight related issues. I am not sure of bondries as new to forum.

[IndigoBlue61]

Good morning Hidden 😊

Yes, I agree with you, I think we are most definitely judged for being overweight, it is almost always perceived as lack of self control, greed and stupidity. I also agree if it was down to skin colour or religious belief it would not be allowed. 😡 It is obviously very personal and painful for you as it affects your son, and that must be very difficult, 😕

My bug bear is TV programmes that are supposed to help and inspire but always seem blame being overweight on over consumption of chips pies and chocolate.!!! Grrrr 😡

So rant away! But then come on here because you most definitely will not be judged, and just get honest advice 😊 Losing weight is not easy but it is possible. I doubt I will ever be really "thin" but after over a year I am definitely fitter and healthier 😊

Best wishes