Holiday frustrations

[JaySeeSkinny]

We've just been on our hols in UK for two weeks and as we were staying with friends we were rather dependent on them regarding the food situation. As part of my weight loss journey I have learnt to avoid sugar and processed foods and I am even starting to accept that fat is not really a problem. I found it really difficult to then be presented with packaged quiches, margarine, low fat yoghurts (full of sugar), toasted white bread and breakfast cereals. So what do you do? We managed to take a bit of control during the first week and had some great conversations about weight with our overweight friends. I think the seeds have been sown, as they saw how much weight I have lost and realised how much fitter we are. But in the second week with even more overweight friends we just seemed to eat crap and sat in the pub far too often. I don't want to humiliate them, these are people we've known and loved for 30 years who we don't see very often, whose company we really enjoy. They were delighted to welcome us into their home for a week, they showed us the area they live in with great pride - justifiably, it was really beautiful. They were hospitable, generous, loving friends and thought they were doing us favours when they were plying us with all the "good" things in life, the sweets of my childhood, the cakes and scones of the area, the afternoons in the pub etc.. So what do you do? How do you show them that your lifestyle is almost diametrically opposed to theirs without showing them up? I ended up skipping breakfasts as there was no healthy option, and I had a couple of days with a few stomach problems which gave me the chance to stay off the alcohol and generally reduce my consumption. But I got narky at the lack of exercise (but was still too lazy to get out of bed early and go running), felt bloated with all the "wrong" foods I was eating, felt I was a constant reproach when I said I'd skip the pub but would take another walk round town. My husband managed a few conversations about weight where he tried to point them in the "right" direction, but it's so arrogant, waltzing in and telling people what they're doing "wrong" and that's not what we are and not what we want to be! On the other hand why should I feed myself what I consider to be crap?

What do you do in these situations?

My damage minimization programme seems to have worked though - I only put on 1kg and am craving salads/vegetables like crazy!

[Hidden]

A week's abuse will be righted in no time. One kilo?! Well done! How much reduced is your alcohol? That is my nemesis. Not horrendous but steady. I suspect the final 7 to 10 pounds I'd like to see what I look like without will only really move if I stop the booze for a good while.. I am out with some friends tonight. Already checked the menu! Maybe I'll do a sparkling water night...

[JaySeeSkinny in reply to Hidden]

Fortunately I've never had a problem with alcohol and have never been in the situation where I drink every day, or reach for a relaxing glass of wine after a hard day at work. We drink socially at the weekends, but not every weekend and usually combined with some form of exercise beforehand. During the week I'm not bothered. But the drinking culture is different in Germany (where I live) and people don't go down the pub after work or on a Friday evening. So in that respect it's a bit easier. But there are loads of people who have their beer every day after work. And I know loads of English friends who reach for the G&T or wine bottle every day. My stomach rebels if I drink every day.

[Caz28]

I found your post really interesting. By the tone you have written it you are obviously very fond of your friends and rightly were trying to avoid offending them in any way. You have done very well to employ some strategies to avoid some of the undesirable food and situations. It just proves how much you have embraced your new healthy living lifestyle, so well done!

[albinohedgehog]

Well done for only putting on a tiny bit! Sounds like it was a challenge. Hopefully youve sewn some healthy eating seeds and it sounds like you were careful not to offend. Well done ☺

[slimpickings 2 stone]

You should probably work for the U.N.!! Managing to not tread on toes but having to compromise your food choices was admirable but you did have a lovely holiday with good company. Perhaps next time offer to take your hosts out for a couple of meals by way of a thank you could be a solution but make sure you Google the menu before booking so you know that there are healthy options. Could you offer to provide a picnic one day but include lots of salads etc. Tricky when you are a house guest!! Well done on a small gain. Xx

[moreless Administrator 7 stone]

I think you did remarkably well JC

Before going on our holiday and staying with family, I just informed them that I'd changed my eating habits and for them to please not go to any trouble preparing meals for us, or buying food in, because we would do that ourselves. I ended up doing the shopping and the cooking and everybody was happy

I still did my runs, before everybody else had got out of bed and didn't drink any alcohol either

We all thoroughly enjoyed each other's company, despite not indulging in extra food and drink

[DartmoorDumpling]

Well done for minimising the damage and for not falling out with your friends! That was a tricky situation.

My son and fiancee stayed with us recently and they know I have been following a calorie counted menu. However on this occasion, they told me that they too are trying to trim down a bit for their forthcoming wedding next year, and let me know in advance of their visit that they are following a low-carb diet - lots of protein, fruit and veg, with minimal bread, potatoes, rice, pasta etc.

By letting me know in advance, I was able to plan their meals accordingly so all went swimmingly. Advance communication is the answer, when this can be done, as most people love to please.

[JaySeeSkinny]

Thanks for the good ideas - I should have the courage of my convictions and advise everybody in advance! Will bear this in mind for the next holiday!

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to JaySeeSkinny]

Morning JaySeeSkinny 😊 I've only just caught this thread but it's a really difficult dilemma isn't it? I've been at both ends, made to feel greedy and rubbish for being hungry when others weren't, and vice versa 😕 I now use a combination of strategies, I inform people that "I need to exercise first thing for my arthritis" (true) and I need to eat fruit first thing for my digestive transit (also true) that sugar disagrees with me (blame the menopause!!) and I can't drink too much at the moment on doctor's advice/medication etc (slightly true) 😊

I also offer to cook 😊

But it is very difficult, I almost came to blows with my closest friend because she was very drunk and (I felt) had a go at me . . . We made up but something has changed in our relationship 😕 My losing weight and getting fit has made her feel insecure somehow 😕 Very sad.

Anyway, I digress, I think you did brilliantly, and glad you enjoyed your holiday with such minimal damage 😊

[MissisB 4 stone]

What an interesting post - it really brings the whole issue of food offering and food 'refusal' up for discussion. I find it very difficult to refuse food offered - it is such a cultural thing. Equally I admit to being guilty of ensuring that guests have food and drink (not necessarily alcoholic I hasten to add) available to them - although I like to think I don't pressure them to accept - but am I offering home made cake or the fruit bowl? Yep, almost certainly the former.

I am going to have quite a think about things next time I take people away for a holiday.

Many congratulations on keeping the weight gain to one kilo though.