Feeling lost

Hi, been there, done that.  Lessons learnt?  Always putting others first.  My self-confidence is ok but work and life always seem to be a higher priority than me.  Know I need to do something but I know I won't stick to it.  This last 6 mths have been so stressful, I'm poorly as I write, even I thought I was done and I'm the strongest person I know.  I don't need a kick up the backside, I need strength, time and a hug.  Feeling lost...    

[Joannejuanita]

Hey i feel lost too.  I have been overweight for so long and have so many failed attempts to lose it.  

[Hidden in reply to Joannejuanita]

Maybe we can be lost together?  x

[Joannejuanita in reply to Hidden]

Who is this lol 

[kantara71]

Hi Greengoblin,

First of all i am sending you a hug (( )) 

It is difficult for those who are "givers" to take the time out to give something back to themselves you will feel guilty and selfish.

Life also has its takers too, those who are perfectly happy for others to do the worrying for them and to always be there for them. I am not saying that this is true in your case but in life there are givers and takers and the takers will take your time and emotions and can drain you.

You have to take a look at what is taking your time and energy away from you and do something about it, don't stop being the caring person you are but, identify where you can start to give that time to looking after yourself and to do the things that make you feel happy.

You are the priority and if you become so stressed and tired then you will be no good to those who you care about either will you?

Take a week off and devote it to yourself and try and learn to receive as well as give.

Have a fabulous week John

[Seuzan]

Plan time for rest and exercise and be determined to stick to it (put your work and other people 2nd for a while if you can!) so that you recharge your batteries and regain control.  Be assertive with others and kind to yourself.  Plan some treats (that are not food ones) - might be buying yourself a new book, or a day out somewhere nice.  Take the time to plan it and put yourself first.   Good luck and take things gently...

[Venusflytrap]

I bet you are so tired when you get home that you can't do much more than eat what is calling from the cupboards and watch TV.  Work pays you for a certain length of day, say 8 hours.  It isn't your work, it's theirs and you are giving them 8 hours of your wonderful input.  At going home time, go home.  Don't get in early and don't work through lunch.  Try to have a teabreak am and pm.  I always worked in pressure departments.  But I noticed when I came back from maternity leave, I couldn't get in early or stay late because the babe needed me.  I took my teabreaks because they were my only adult times.  Lunch time was the babe's again.  Lo and behold, my output not only went up, the quality of my work was better.   Because for once I had time to relax and do something different.  No I didn't learn for the rest of my working life either.  Workaholics don't.  But looking back from retirement, if I had learned, I would have been better in my life and even in my work.  John is absolutely right.  Take a break and get away if at all possible.  If you can't afford to go away, try planning visits to all your favourite people, who, I'm betting you haven't seen for a long while.  The ones that John has identified as the givers.  

[borderlass]

big ((((hug)))) greengoblin. Last year I was so busy looking after everyone but myself I hit a really really low point, my Doc offered counselling, and though I hate talking about myself I went.   You may have heard this before, but they used the analogy of being on a plane and putting the oxygen on yourself first, because if you don't, you won't be able to help others. I've been breathing in that oxygen for a year now, and now I am ready to tackle my weight.  (all my past weight loss 'fails' have been practice runs for me to learn what will work for me)....

You will be ok x

  

[Hidden]

Awwww thank you, at the moment I feel like I am treading water and drowning a little bit every day.  I know it will pass but when I am in that place, it certainly feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is a long way away.  I'm glad you've been breathing the oxygen, it really is good for you, and maybe we can breathe a bit easier together.  Thank you for your support x