So as some of you know from my Monday Weigh-in Post I am going to my sister's this weekend.
She has just phoned me to say that she has booked us in for a Luxury High Tea for Saturday afternoon as a treat and later that evening we are going out to the local Pub for dinner...
We are both trying to lose weight. I suggested that I could cook on Friday night and she has insisted that we get take-aways as I will be arriving to late for me to cook, I'll be tired, blah, blah, blah. I am not winning.
I think I can manage the Pub and can just about work out a reasonable take-away but I don't know how to handle the Luxury High Tea! There is bound to be cream scones, cake, cheesy sandwiches etc. and I can't sit there not eating anything when she has arranged this for both of us a treat. I could wring her neck - but I know she is coming from a good place. We don't get to see each other as often as we would like.
BUT What do I do? Weigh day is on Monday...
I was thinking exercise - I could try and go for a run (speedy shuffle) early Saturday & Sunday morning at her new house (this is my first visit but she says there is a tow path and pond/park near her) to compensate? It could spur me on to re-start (for the 3rd time) the brilliant c25k program.
But any other ideas would be most welcome.
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SVR28
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Well you could go for a run but it won't compensate much really. How long do you run for? When I go for a half hour run I burn about 350 calories. So an hour running (which is tough) will be 700 calories.
Personally I wouldn't go. I don't think it's very fair that your sister has done it knowing fine well that you are trying to lose weight. You have to be really disciplined and I know people will say, oh well it's only an afternoon tea or pub lunch. Well it might be, then next week it's something else and something else, then Christmas... it's never ending. You have to be strict if you want to lose weight. The question is, how much do you really want it?
Ask the venue for a doggy bag, then give them away or leave them at your sisters. She might be able to freeze some for future guests. Otherwise, eat half a finger sandwich and cake, and ask her if she wants any of yours. Your unwillingness to over-indulge might encourage her to stick to her diet. Good luck!
I'm sure that I'll be criticised for my advice but I would suggest that you go to your sisters, enjoy the treats that she has planned for you and her company and get back to plan on Monday. The plan is a change of lifestyle for life and we will always have holidays/weekend trips to face, enjoy yourself and catching up with your sister. As long as you get back to plan on Monday you will quickly reverse any damage caused.
No criticism from me mrsg - but then I love the sound of a Luxury High Tea
To be honest, I think you've hit the nail on the head. This is a change of lifestyle and we cannot always deny ourselves something special. The week before we went away to York, I was beginning to stress that I wasn't going enjoy myself because I was going to struggle to keep to my calorie count, and that would spoil the holiday for the family. In the end I relaxed, ate sensibly when I could, but had quite a number of treats and meals out. We ended up having a lovely time, I felt that I ate what I wanted, and to be honest the damage was so minimal in terms of weight gain that it was soon undone.
Obviously you can't eat what you want all the time, but I think that the odd special occasion is good for you (and it sounds lovely what your sister has planned )
Yes, lifestyle and mindset change for me! In the past I have been very thin and now I am very fat. I WAS an extremist but I could never maintain my, looking back now, rather ridiculous regimes.
I am tired of punishing myself and my body is quite clearly fed-up with me as well.
Now I am making small changes to my diet and my daily routines. I am not losing epic amounts of weight but I am really trying to listen to my body and do realistic things that I can stick to long term.
A slow burning lifestyle revolution that after a day, a week might not look like much but over a month, six months will be quite different from where I started.
This weekend is exactly what would send me into a spin and fall off the wagon and as you can tell from my post I was very nearly there.
Sorry I am rambling on. Thanks for your sensible reply, sometimes I need to panic less and remind myself to look at the bigger picture.
I think that I would probably consider the High afternoon tea as my 'main meal' of the day, and would choose a little of most things on offer, but not overdo it. Then I'd choose a very light meal at the pub - maybe a couple of starters or a light main meal - and I'd take opportunities to have a walk and do some exercises if the opportunity arose.
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you enjoy the visit with your sister.
Thanks for your reply. That is a good point. I will "save" myself for the high tea and then just have something light at the pub.
I have made a spaghetti bolognaise (low fat mince etc.) that I am bringing with me for tonights dinner so no Take-away, hooray! I did suggest we could do cabbage "pasta" rather than proper pasta but my sister is not keen...although she has bought some wholewheat pasta so we are meeting half way.
I do actually like cabbage pasta!
She has also agreed to start c25k with me so Saturday and Sunday morning we will be giving it a go. I know this shuffle will not make up for the rest of the weekend but my thought is if you start you day off well with some exercise you are less likely to eat more the rest of the day. Also my sister doesn't believe she can run but having done the c25k to week 8 before myself I know that she absolutely can run if she follows Laura. It might just be thing she needs.
You can't live your life on a diet! As others have already said, this is a lifestyle change so we have to learn how to accommodate these obstacles that pop up from time to time.
I think you should enjoy your time with your lovely thoughtful sister and gently explain your new healthy eating plan, I've found it quite helpful to involve my nearest and dearest & get them on board.
Have a fab weekend and deal with next week when it arrives.
My sister came to visit me last weekend and we are both trying to lose weight too. We went out to dinner, drank plenty of cocktails and had a damn good time. On Monday, yes I had put on a couple of pounds, but a couple of days later they were off again. It's all about enjoying life but then compensating for overeating when we can. Try not to let this ruin your time with your sister and don't beat yourself up if you end up overindulging. Just don't fall off the wagon completely!
High Tea is normally served late afternoon, as you are then going out for a meal in the evening I think you can assume confidently that you don't need it from a nutritional point of view.
If it was me personally, and my sister insisted on going then I would go but I would only drink the tea and I would not eat anything, I would show the resolve of a Samurai, I would not make a fuss or draw attention to it, when asked why I was not eating I would be honest and proudly announce that I was on a life changing journey to my sister. I love the bit when serving staff take uneaten food away, especially when they ask if everything was OK and I say "yes fine, I'm just not very hungry", make me feel quite naughty, a rebel! As it goes against everything that instilled into us
At this point if nothing else your Sister should hopefully realise how "Serious" you are about your changes. It's not about not gaining/maintaining weight but more importantly what you'll glean from the whole achievement is a total sense of control (I've said to you before it's all about control) and you should then be in no doubt that you are capable of continuing on your journey. Each time you take control like this you'll become stronger and hopefully feel epic! Like I said this about "High Tea", no one really needs High Tea, certainly no one on a serious weight loss journey needs it. Things like this are not a Treat for people like us, make sure your closest and dearest know that, a trip to afternoon show, the cinema, swimming or ice skating would be apt.
Good luck, there is no reason why you should not still enjoy your weekend and I hope you do.
Hi, I think I'd have the high tea as my main meal and enjoy it. Then you can say you are too full to eat much in the evening.
Many people who are trying to lose weight go off the rails when they get together with family - my stepmother is the same, always looking for the next treat and always on a diet. Some are more focussed than other - keep your resolve but enjoy life a bit too
I'm not sure if I'm going to get slated for this, but my idea of high tea is, high quality, superb tasting food, served up in very small portions. The calorie intake may well not be as high as you think It's about quality tasty morsels, served up in luxurious surroundings in an unhurried style. It's about the setting and the experience. I wouldn't even consider trying to count the calories. As with every other day, it's more about eating until you are sated and then stopping.
I also would recommend you enjoy the pampering, the food, company and the day.
After all, you may well go over your calorie quota for the day, but for the month, you could easily be under. It's best to look at the bigger picture and not just one meal on one day.
That is a really good point about small portions but well made, good quality ingredients, the surroundings and the experience as a whole.
I am so looking forward to seeing her. She lives quite far away so we don't see each other that often. She does drive me mad at times but we have both said that if we were not sisters we would probably be best friends out of choice.
Your point of view has made me stop and think about this. Yes we need to lose weight and look after ourselves better but we also need to take the moments we are given to deeply enjoy our lives. Sometimes the losing weight thing can take over to such an extent that I get unhappy, miserable and fall completely off the wagon undoing all the work I have put in. Just thinking about the weekend, as you can see, has made me jittery before I've even left London!
This time round balance is crucial for me to making lasting changes.
Have a good weekend and thanks again.
I agree with the posts talking about lifestyle change not diets. I would have a modest tea and a modest pub meal and enjoy the time with your sister. Life is for living.
Do you know where she has booked? If so ring them and ask for low cal items. Hubby booked a surprise afternoon for me and did it for my Sister. They were really supportive. Also try to focus on how fully you feel. I swear with a takeaway I seem to force myself to eat it all because it's a treat but end up feel way to full and uncomfortable.
Brilliant post...love the discussions. Have you noticed that the people who love us the most often are the people who inadvertently or subconsciously scupper our dreams
You're right - and I think the issue here is that they believe they are 'treating' us by offering luxurious comfort food. Of course there is the argument that there are plenty of other ways to treat someone - but not always something that can be shared together, in the way that a nice meal together can be. Which is why I guess 'treats' often come in the form of food or drink.
But if you are leading a good healthy lifestyle, then these treats should be allowable (not too often !) if you choose to want to have them.
First...well done on your commitment and will power!
Have a look at the menu and try to pre plan what you will have...and ONE cake won't ruin everything you've achieved (after all we have to live in the real world even after we are skinny!) I would suggest a long walk or bike ride. If you can cycle to the pub do it! Enjoy it and have fun. Just try and stay off the booze...it's full of calories and leads to poor decisions!
the high tea will not ruin ur diet its just one meal, maybe ask the venue for brown bread instead of white for the sandwiches etc and don't stop yourself from eating if you want to or are hungry but go slow and drink water so you know when your full
for the dinner why not check if they have a lighter option that you can choose? similar for the takeaway just choose sensibly
I have just came back from fieldwork and the whole table wanted big meals (we did earn it from walking all day) but I knew I would just eat for the sake of it so I asked if they were able to do a smaller portion for me which they did and I didn't miss out or seem awkward and didn't finish it all so maybe try that?
My tuppence worth, can you cook something and take it down with you on Friday a nice low fact chicken curry or somthing you can just reheat?, takeaways can be so calorific and not very nice, then enjoy the rest of your weekend - if you drink go for lowcalorie options gin and tonic over wine and alternate with as soft drink or have a couple of softies to start with - offer to drive if that helps but most of all enjoy your weekend
Thanks for your reply. I have made a spaghetti bolognaise from scratch using a Slimming World recipe that I am bringing with me for Friday dinner, so one less thing to worry about.
Heating it through and boiling some pasta once we arrive will be just the same amount of time as ordering take-away and waiting for delivery. My sister has agreed to make a salad for the side.
I did suggest we could do "cabbage" pasta rather than pasta pasta but my sister is not convinced...baby steps, although she has bought some wholewheat pasta so we are meeting half way.
Incidentally I do really like cabbage pasta!
She has also agreed to start c25k with me so Saturday and Sunday morning we will be giving it a go. I know that this small amount of will not make up for the Luxury High Tea but I reckon if you start you day off well with some exercise you are less likely to eat more the rest of the day.
Anyhow I love reading all the replies from everyone - thank you.
The word "sabotage" springs to mind! I say go to the tea, eat little and slowly. It's OK to be explicit about it too. You are on a diet. You want to lose weight. It's OK to have needs and have them respected. The doggy bag is not a bad idea too. Take what's left away and spread the love!
I would just have the high tea, have something sensible at the pub, google lowest calorie take-aways and then recoup the calories 100 a day next week to minimise damage! I have a similar problem this week as my birthday and nights out planned, but trying to be sensible and have lighter days next week. We all have to indulge sometimes, but just not all of the time, which is what I was doing to get to this state. Enjoy your time with your sister and don't feel guilty about it. Its only food! Good luck!
Thanks - have a great birthday and you are so right "It's only food"
I make it into something that has almost absolute power over me, sometimes I feel like "it" hates me. I really do need to take a step back and calm down.
Incidentally I had a lovely weekend with my sister, high tea and everything. I hopped on the scales this morning and I have stayed the same. Shew!
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End of Week 6 - So How's It Going?
