Feeling guilty

[Kiran666]

This doesn't always happen but sometimes I'll eat really good through out the day. I'll have breakfast, lunch, no snacks and then I will have dinner. But just before I exercise I crave more food. So we have a little flat at the back of the house and I will go in there as then I will end up eating some cereal. But I don't know why I do it, i feel so bad doing it even though I will exercise after it. And I can't help but still think I am fat, I don't look in the mirror now and I try to avoid my reflection everywhere, even at home. I still think I am fat and I get really conscess when I am out.

[Zest Healthy BMI]

Hi Kiran666,

I was just reading a post by Jillian Michaels about 'eating before exercising' and having seen your post, I thought I'd copy the link for you:

jillianmichaels.com/fit/los...

It might make you feel a bit better about the fact you're eating something before exercising.

Sorry to hear you've been feeling self-conscious about your perceived size when you're out and about. I really hope you begin to feel better about yourself as time goes on, and hopefully you will begin to feel more confident and happier in yourself. It's great that you're not avoiding going out, as you should be proud to go out and about and enjoy your life.

Sounds like you're making good progress in terms of sticking to healthy eating most days - keep it going, and enjoy your exercise. I think Jillian has suggested some pre-exercise foods to optimise your work-outs. There are other sites that have similar advice.

Wishing you a good week ahead. Nearly the weekend already!

Lowcal

[Kiran666 in reply to Zest]

Thank you so much

[Salaisa]

Kiran666, sorry, but here's some tough love for you. Your first post was that you are 10st. Unless you are really short, that's not overweight. All of your other posts are about being unhappy with your weight, feeling guilty about eating, making yourself sick (chocolate cake at your brother's birthday), hating to go out because you are too self-conscious that people are looking at you. I honestly think this forum may not be the right place for you (I mean with respect to your problem; otherwise it's really great for support). 10 days ago, Lowcal replied to your post and suggested you visit your GP and share these thoughts with him/her and consider therapy. Have you done it? This sounds like you may have a real problem, just not the one you think. Weight does not seem to be it.

I think the following is not going to help, but here goes anyway: I am in my early 40s. When I was your age or a little older (early 20s), I fretted about my tummy, thighs, breasts, pretty much anything as girls do. Recently I did some work at a uni - a place full of 20-something girls. When I looked at them, I thought they were all beautiful. And I mean all. Young, full of energy, radiant taut skin... Even the plump ones and those with acne were beautiful. And I felt really sorry then when I had that kind of youthful beauty I wasted the time worrying about non-existent weight problems instead of enjoying what you only get from nature and will never be able to recreate with diet, exercise, cosmetics... Please do go to see a professional and hopefully soon you will be able to enjoy your sweet sweet 17 and feel like the beauty I am sure you are.

[Kiran666 in reply to Salaisa]

Thank you for that. I have spoken to my mum about doing CBT or going to a councillor but she says that I don't need to go, that I'm too young to see one. But sometimes I think I should and I know I have a problem but I can't go to one. I will tell my mum but she will say the same thing. She says that I am slim, that I am not fat but it doesn't register to me.

[Salaisa in reply to Kiran666]

Kiran, I think it is really really good that you yourself realise that there perhaps may be a problem. Admitting it is half the work towards healing. Can I suggest that you try one of the following NHS forums (here - find the community): Anorexia and Bulimia Care, Living with Anxiety.

I have read the first posts on the A. and B.C. forum, and I think a lot of people there have very similar concerns to yours. I think in here you are getting good support but some incorrect advice as people think you have a weight loss problem, which you don't! Try and tell us if those communities might be places where you feel better, e.g. is it easier to relate to the kind of problems people talk about?

[Kiran666]

Thank you for this