Shielding and Living with Someone Who is Not

[Galaxy2]

Hi All

I am in the extremely vulnerable category and I have been firmly sticking to the shielding rules and waiting to hear the next advice but I do have a huge dilemma now as my daughter's year at school is due back at the start of June and I really don't know what to do.

There are just the 2 of us, we live in a flat and I can't realistically see how I can be safe with her going into school everyday. I know there is shielding advice on what measures to take if you share your home with other people but in a flat and all the practicalities involved I just can't see it would work but its such a tricky one to make a decision on. She is very sensible, will wash her hands as soon as she gets home and probably clothes each day too but she could so easily catch the virus or be a carrier and how could I escape it. I think too that living practically separate lives at home she would find quite upsetting but then I don't want her education to suffer because of me.

I am thinking of delaying the decision until September but then question would much have changed by then anyway.

I would be really interested to hear if anyone is successfully shielding and living with anyone that isn't but any advice or thoughts would be really appreciated.

Thank you

[Benne09]

Hi, I am in the same position as you and not sure what to do the best 🤷🏽‍♀️. Hopefully others can help us out x

[Galaxy2 in reply to Benne09]

Thanks Benne 09

Such a dilemma for us all

[Devoid]

Hi just to say I think your instincts are the best thing to follow, I definitely think not spending time with you in the home would be more detrimental than a few very unsettling weeks at school, the very idea that they can make schools and the getting there safe at this time seems ludicrous to me. Lots of families who have a child in a year going back and other children that aren’t will probably keep them at home, so much is been driven by the economy but again not well thought through because of the childcare situation. Go with your gut and enjoy your time learning together

[Galaxy2 in reply to Devoid]

Thanks for your your reply Devoid, I too think its just too early all round to be opening schools

[Devoid in reply to Galaxy2]

Hi my daughter who works at a school said that the advice is if you are shielding children don’t have to go back, it appears they have made this information available to schools but not thought to let shielding people who could be worried know!!!! Today I’ve had a government txt to say ask a friend to walk the dog , not sure what they think has been happening for the last 9 weeks!!!!

[Galaxy2 in reply to Devoid]

Yes I had the same text last week, mine have been randomly sent and I've now had the letter 3 times???

Thanks for the information, I actually found some information on the gov.uk site today mentioning it but not exactly being conclusive. It advised for pupils in this situation to attend only if strict social distancing can be adhered too, personally I think there will be far too many instances where it is impossible, passing in corridors, walking into the toilets as someone is walking out etc, not to mention all the surfaces, door handles, desks.... I would think too that most pupils will be sensible but I only have to look outside my window somedays to see groups of teenagers walking past, no social distancing there.....teachers can only do so much to maintain this.

[Investigator1]

Hi Jenny, I feel for you I really do and I can’t even try and compare my own situation but I am vulnerable and my wife is shielding with me, she has a note from the doctor until end of June but is prepared for another 3 months, her bosses don’t like it but as she says........tough! My life is more important. For me there is no choice, a few months without money or a life! It’s a no brainier. So there you have it Jenny, that’s what we think, imagine the alternatives. Please take care.

[Galaxy2 in reply to Investigator1]

Thanks for your reply, yes I've been sticking to the advice so strictly, been out once and that was for a medical appointment and personally am very prepared to stay at home for as long as is advised for our group, like you say the alternatives are not nice to imagine. Its just so hard on my daughter the longer this goes on for to keep expecting her to stay in with me.

[2534]

Just to add to your knowledge before finalising your choice you may care to look at yesterday’s government briefing (17/5). Dr Jenny Harries talk about the risk for, and from, children re Covid 19. It is not categorical but nothing is at the moment. Good luck Jenny. Ajh

[2534]

Also today’s Daily Telegraph (18/5)

[Galaxy2 in reply to 2534]

Thank you for that, I will certainly have a look at both

[Condensation]

Hi there

I have the same problem but my son is perhaps a bit older and not due back till after the summer.I would not have sent him to school now.Just wait and see what will happen after schools open again. There might be a second wave or it will be ok. You have to do what you feel is right for you and your daughter and what is the least stressful for both of you.

I think the education is not so important in this situation and can be picked up but the social side and isolation is difficult in the long run for all of us. I hope in autumn we will know more ,at least the situation will be clearer. Hopefully it will have subsided.

I am not sure what is the answer, for my husband it is hard he says that he or my son will be the one to infect me. To put it extrem I guess would be for the children to live with relatives or good friends for a while to give them the freedom they should have as young people . The question is do we want that.

I would be very interested what other people think about this problem. There is no official advice or real guidance on this. I don't think it is possible if you live as a family to be separate enough to not infect each other.

I wish you both all the best and keep positive! Don't read all the bad news all the time, as I do, it is not good for you !

[Galaxy2 in reply to Condensation]

Hi Condensation

My daughter is a teenager, in the middle of A levels, she has found it really hard to motivate herself to study at home and found it far harder than me to be stuck in. I'd say where as my mental health is ok hers isn't great and so from every perspective for her point of view it would be good to return but its just the issue of like you say I don't think either if she became infected we could be separate enough for her not to infect me.

We have talked about her staying with friends but she is not keen and who can say either how long that might be for.

We talk about this situation a lot, she is 50/50 and ultimately doesn't want to bring the virus home to me.

For the moment the decision is no to going back next month and hopefully there will be some guidance on this by September.

Thanks so much for your reply.

[FeelingGreatNot]

Same here. I’m trying not to think about it and I think there’s a chance that the picture will change in the next two weeks. If the numbers climb I may discuss with school if my child can get the work to do at home. There’s no good answer.

[Wageners]

I think a lot if us are in the same situation and each one must make their own decisions based on what is best for them.There is just two of us at home and mine is in year ten, I have taken the decision not to send him back to school in june, and wait and see how things go out there.He will continue online learning so I can continue to shield safely..Hope this helps in some way..

[Cherishe77]

Hi Jenny, I’m Dutch so first of all my excuse for my poor english. I honestly believe your child will be happier with a mom who is there for her and safe than she will be going to school for a couple of weeks. After all summer vacation is almost there. I am shielding because I am a 24/7 caretaker for my 89 year old mom (and I have EGPA) and all I can think off is: Please dont let me give my mother COVID and I’m 55. So imagine the burden your girl will carry when she does give it to you. Don’t put that on her shoulders. She’s a kid she can bounce back from a couple of weeks without schooling or her classmates but she probably can’t deal with making her mom sick(er) so my advice: keep her and yourself safe.

[Galaxy2]

Thanks so much for all of your replies, it's really appreciated. I'm going to see what the update is for shielding at the end of June and hope by September we have some positive news. Take care all