I have just stopped with a cup of tea, en-route to the sofa I could not help notice in the large mirror in my lounge that my hair looks like it belongs to some breed of monkey - it used to be long and curly and nicely highlighted - as it has deteriorated in condition over the last couple of years I have had it cut shorter and shorter. The hairdresser has also refused to do highlights as the condition was so poor - so instead they have been using some all over dye which is now growing out and there is a large grey stripe down the top of my head.
Since switching from hyper to hypo I have gained weight and look so dowdy covering up with large sweaters etc. My skin is white and I have huge black circles under my eyes - never mind a bloody scar on my neck.
Anyway switching on the TV - I am confronted by 4 'loose women' all looking so glamorous and energetic, they are discussing the joys of being 40 or 50 and how women look so good at this age (I am 50). They are planning valentine dinners and romance. Don't get me wrong I have a lovely husband although the age difference of 10 years (he is younger) feels greater than ever at the moment. The poor man has so much to put up with this pathetic wife. A wife who does not know that the world exists after 7pm and is constantly moaning.
I want to be energetic again - I want to have a reason to look good and I hate the thought of my life passing me by. I find myself resenting these happy colourful women who don't seem to know what living like this is really about.