Lady flu, Christmas parcel fuss, and a house full of stampeding wilderbeast!

I am extremely bad tempered and possibly have lady flu... I have slept very badly for the last week. Mild lady flu has sent my overactive immune system into overdrive, and prior to that my hormones did their normal merry dance. All my bones are throbbing and I want to kick something. I have not managed so far to go anywhere for Christmas shopping, as either I am laid up or one of the children is ill or both - so my energy has gone into some fairly sensible on line shopping, Most presents will be going clink clink this year - it is far easier.

However yesterday I answered the door to the po-faced postman, was duly given a large box.. which appeared to contain 35 pairs of 15 denier tights in nude. I don't wear them,,, as far as I know neither does my husband.. and I did NOT order them.. nowhere in my order history have I ordered these. However my daughter became diplomatic immediately stating that they were good for school in the spring, Most puzzling, a genuine order mix up which I am too tired to sort. It pleases me immensely to think that somebody somewhere in the UK, will be perplexed to have received some sort of foul smelling cement styled face mask promising them a full return to their former youth minus - their eyebrows, facial hair, blemishes and no returns if it fails to work before Christmas.

My friend dithers has continued to ring me with further stories of festive fuss and carol singing, the last epic version - another visit to an OAP home yesterday, involved heavily locked cupboards which once wrenched open, revealed a childrens' broken toy keyboard, minus any form of electrical lead and not at all looking like the electric piano promised - and a fuming and glowering friend - who had been roped in and hauled out of hibernation to play trad jazz and Christmas carols for the afternoon. There will be a least another week of these tales.. and I must make sure I do not miss any episodes.

I am currently beyond tired, everything has flared again, luckily tomorrow I am off to Glasgow to be assessed for LDN which I believe I need alongside my natural thryoid supplements, as three of my other diseases out of the five are being very badly behaved indeed... this is a final try of something sensible before being shoved onto methyletrexate... I have managed to convince all three hospitals that it is a very good idea the LDN route, and lots of reading has been done! by them as much as myself.

Meanwhile the children have been ticking over, but both very unwell, my son has missed so much school, due to how unwell he is - that last Friday I decided it was time he had a party. .Most of his class arrived, and stayed the night - nearly 20 teens aged 13 and 14 duly arrived and behaved as a well coordinated stampeding herd of wilder beast, migrating from one room to another. Boys taking the stairs three at a time, almost with the bannisters under one arm. Lots of dancing, singing and of course shrieking and at times all piling on my sons' bed when he had to rest. Lots and lots of girls with tiny legs balanced on enormous platforms with skirts smaller than my belts etc.

I made a mountain of food, and a dormitory in the sitting room. When we got to 5.30 in the morning and the shrieking had collectively peaked, (mine included), it became clear that no sleep whatsoever was going to take place either for them or us... I jacked the music up and put all the lights on and announced that sleeping was banned and they must all clean and tidy the downstairs - they did! A great result, a great party and a brilliant lift to the situation. My good humoured husband and I stayed in bed, bleary eyed being delivered sheepish cups of tea and coffee.. every so often four smoke alarms would squeal and propel me out of bed to check for kitchen fires alongside the furious teenage bacon cooking going on down there.

They were all very well behaved - ..a couple of amusing moments where three people developed cat allergy at the same time...so frantic rummaging for the correct medication which none of them had brought along... and a sudden bit of first aid for one of my son's best friends who had burnt his hand the day before... at some point during the evening when his plasters had got wet, his helpful friends had decided to make a new dressing involving only a roll of very strong gaffer tape... getting that off and something more sensible in place caused fuss for a while. I felt like a cross between Florence Nightingale and Nanny McPhee!

At one stage early on during the party my husband announced that he had some skype business calls to make... he was almost under siege trying to do these, but managed, and then much to my son's disgust a load of my mans friends turned up and duly starting having a band rehearsal in the middle of the things, which added to the mix of raving in the kitchen, various music further on inside the house and a live band in the middle. At this stage I had retreated upstairs to drink wine and watch crap telly... the cats also retreated on to my bed.. and adopted those huffy positions taken up during times of emergency when the house is in flux.. they sit bunched up like chickens with no sign of any legs showing looking cross and long in the neck and long suffering. They detest each other and only join forces to deal with a common disgust or foe!

It must have been a very good party, as I did genuinely stick myself to the kitchen floor the morning after. Unfortunately during the teenage version of deep cleaning, a jar of almost completely full runny honey had been placed upside down in the cupboard with the lid half off..this had slowly emptied and oozed itself down two shelves and out of the bottom of the cupboard sticking together everything in it's wake, including the kettle below, the bread board and eventually the cutlery draw before it's final stalactite formation towards the floor. As I remained horror struck and glued to the spot... I was transported back to some sort of 80's hammer horror involving dripping ectoplasm.

The next day carried on as normal....and my man disappeared to do a wild Christmas gig, He did lots of flinging of equipment into the boot of the car, and disappeared in a screech of gravel with double base, accordian, mandoline and tons of electrical gear... amongst it all some cans of beers violently hurled into bags... which proceeded to cause mayhem... the whole gig was spent with him trying to hide punctured tins of beer spewing their contents at high velocity and unfortunately leaving a lake of evidence in the form of polish being lifted off the surrounding parquet floor... the gig went well... and he then went to visit my friend's party...at the dead of night and found her with many guests tucked away in the house in various beds, causing her to consider sleeping in a damp caravan with a collection of hot water bottles and a very handy new man. I really miss being well enough to be in a band.. and hope this comes back again.. those days of busking or performing are a bit distant currently and I want them back.

I am looking very much forward to Scotland.. and perhaps a more sensible approach to my multi disease profile which will fit with what Dr BDP has done so far... it is clear that my peri menopause is enhancing things further...so... I shall document all progress. I am still gluten free and have still lost those sneezing allergies... so some good news. May the LDN diaries commence..

and a big ps:

Mary F x

14 Replies

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  • Am running out of words to describe your excellent blogs! Brilliant! X

  • Ta, that's nice of you. MF x

  • You brave brave lady :-) all those teenagers!! I can remember when my son had his prom and I woke to a lounge full of teenage boys, all drunk and semi-comatose lol shudder. Not something I'd ever wish to repeat lol.

    Good luck with LDN trip and Merry Christmas xx

  • thanks xxx M x

  • Wow, that is what I have to look forward to in 10 years (mine are currently angelic 4- and 5-year olds!). I hope I'll be as calm as you clearly were. Love the blogs and do wish you all the best with the LDN treatment.

    Emma X

  • Thanks... it is my fourth round of this, as he is my youngest...and thanks. M x

  • The more I read your blogs the more I form a picture of you. You are unique and your family must think the world of you. A houseful of teenagers is most people's idea of a nightmare, but with someone with so many health problems it would be suicidal.Somehow making your son happy will also give you a much needed boost. Take care hope you feel a little better soon.x

  • Thanksx... they do... but I am rather 'awful' currently: M x

  • Hello MaryF

    You truly have an amazing gift, not only to write in such a graphic, 3D, funny way which has me giggling without fail. But also to not bury yourself in self-absorption, which no one I feel sure on these forums would blame you for with all the health challenges you have. I learn from you....thank you.

    I seriously hope you keep all the blogs you write, they would make a great book, 'The XXX Diaries of Mary F' . I am truly not being flippant here either with this suggestion. It is not so hard these days to get an e-book published. Thing is, many people on these forums mention they laugh when they read your blogs.

    What an Amazing gift that is to be able to write, cheer people up, make them laugh and be heart warmed. Maybe writing helps you too...........whatever the consequences I reckon your gift needs to be shared with a lot more folk, here endeth my 2penneth!!

    Look forward to reading your next Blog!

    warm wishes

    JLTsirius

  • Cheers, I am currently at Stansted Airport... which I sure will trigger even more! MFx

  • thank you so much again. I agree with the book idea. Recall those teenage parties and returning after a few days away to find a host of alcopop bottles stuck solid to the kitchen worktops which took hours and gallons of hot soapy water to soak off! One very full recycling bin!

  • Ta. Father Christmas may be granting this wish in the New Year x M x

  • I fear I am rather behind with the times on this blog lol, but delightful reading as always Mary. And that video is pure class! Happy New Year to you x

  • thanks, yes a few before and since I think x

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