Somebody said something on the flu jab discussion about fear and placebo and that reminded me of my theory about health and life and everything. I wanted to share to see if anyone else agreed or related. I think that what we expect to happen to us inlife happens and that if we react fearfully to something or anything it brings about the things we most fear. It can also happen in a good way. If we expect to be loved or too have a great job, a nice home we get those too.
Health wise I think the problems we have are often brought about by fear often instilled in familys. I grew up fearful about my weight because both my mothers were over weight and it is my biggest health concern now in many ways. I have noticed that children of alcholics often fear alcohol but then go on to become excessive drinkers themselves. I also have a underlying fear of doctors and have had a life time of ill treatment from them. I am sure others who see them in a more positive light get better treatment. I noticed when psychiatric nursing that people before admission has a real terror of authoritys abusing them, typical paranoia but then found themselves dragged from their homes by the police,doctors and social workers and then confined in a locked ward where the nurses gave them mind altering drugs. Another example I can think of is an aunt of mine who got herself a pet dog.She breed spanials for years and had about ten of them but they were working dogs and lived in a caravan on the farm. This pet dog however was allowed in the house It was her companion and she was very protective of it and never let it off the lead when walking with her other dogs. She was fearful that it would run away. She fell one day when it was about 18 months old and dropped the lead. It vanished and never came back. She searched for weeks.Her big fear came true. Are our health problems really genetic or does the fear run in familys that bring them about. Does a breast cancer diagnoses fill the women in the family with an insidious fear that brings it about or is it a mixture of both genes and emotion.If Our problems are primarily fear driven how can we face them and overcome. Philosophical I know but might be helpful to think about.
I once met a woman who had three little boys. Their ages were something like 3 years, 18 month and six months. She was always terrified that her youngest was going to have a seizure - and I mean really, really panicked about it. I asked her why, and she had no idea. The baby was healthy, according to the doctors, and neither of the other two had had any such problem, and no history of it in the family. Then, one day, I got a phone call to ask if I could come round and take them to hospital because the baby had had a seizure - and he was in a pretty bad way! And, I wondered at the time if her utter fear of that happening had caused it to happen - even though the baby was so small and not open to suggestion.
In 2013 - the worst year of my life - I suddenly became convinced that my dearest dog was going to die. Although the vet gave him a clean bill of health (don't trust vets anymore than doctors!). And, in idle moments, I even found myself wondering what I would call my next dog! It was horrific thinking like that! And, then, in October, he did die. And, then, I though did I cause his death by thinking about it? Or, did I just have a premonition about the future? Did I predict his death because it was inevitable? Did my friend predict the ill health of her baby? I've never been sure either way.
On the other hand, I don't think I caused my Hashi's by thinking about it, dreading it, because until I was diagnosed, I had no idea what a thyroid was. It wasn't talked about in the family, I knew of no-one that had been diagnosed with it.
So, perhaps it is possible to predict the future, and perhaps whatever we fear will get us in the end. But, there will always be an awful lot of things that take us by surprise. And, for all my dreaming and scheming, I've never even met Johnny Depp, so… who knows?
Yes I have had similar experiences.I think I managed to deal with my fears re my child. Like you and the dog I was convinced he was going to die and even thinking about his funeral, making plan to bring down the BTA if he went and I was preoccupied. What I did in the end was write down a story of all my positive hopes for his future. How I imagined his life could be as an adult with loads of great ideas for things he would love to experience in life and I shared it with him. He seems to have picked up a bit, a bit more energy,doing star jumps every day and looking happier. He is far from well but I don't imagine that I am going to find him in a coma anymore.
Auto suggestion, if you believe a new med is going to give you side effects it will, if you believe a treatment is going to fail it will, that's the problem with asking advice, most people will focus on the negative !
I certainly don't believe in the Law of Attraction thing, whereby we are supposed to ask the universe, trust the process, and wait for our desired thing to land in our lap; so no I don't believe that expecting to get a great job means we will get one - I fully expected to get a massive lottery win in the first and successive draws, but never have. However, I do believe that prioritising study & the attainment of qualifications, working hard and effectively, & proving one's worth at work, stands a very good chance of resulting in career advancement. Whilst it's true that children of alcoholics have a higher chance of likewise developing alcohol-related problems, the reasons are complex, many and various, and are interconnected with associated problems such as learned behaviour, psychological ill health, poor educational attainment, self-harming, anorexia etc etc. It can't be stripped down simplistically if at all, to fear of alcohol. There is a story therapists use, about twin sons of an alcoholic father, one of whom is an unskilled alcoholic homeless unemployed man who says, well with a father like mine, how else would I have turned out. The other twin is a university educated successful teetotaller who says, well with a father like mine how else would I have turned out .... I don't think that the experience of those entering or re-entering the mental health system can be paralleled with those children - there are very different drivers to each - but of course, how we behave in any given situation, or what we expect our experience to be, especially if we aren't thinking rationally in any case, is going to affect our own behaviour and therefore the response of others to us, to varying degrees. But again, so many more factors than simply fear, come into play. That a person's dog ran off when released from its owner's hold can't be due to the owner's long held fear, in the sense of "I just knew it all along" prophetic sort of way. It may have been just bad luck, one of those things, and the dog may have been found and taken to kennels which prevented it trotting back home. Equally the constant mithering and anxiety of the owner may have impacted the dog's inborn sanguinity such that it led to the dog running off instead of standing still when the lead was dropped. The development of a disease is more than, or not even, genes or emotion - there's toxins, age, nutritional state, immunity, lifestyle etc etc. Finally, when someone fears or suspects an illness will befall another person, and it does; it's not through their wishful thinking, or fear, or second sight or some such, but possibly as a result of them unconsciously having been picking up signs and signals without consciously making sense of them - or just plain old coincidence.
Thank you. I agree that it is usually the behaviour that leads to the consequences, great jobs don't just appear, you work for them but you need to hope for them to inspire you to work. With fear it is the opposite we avoid rather than aim for something and it is in a way I think dangerous often to avoid. My aunt did as you say over protect her dog so it didn't have the training to function safely off lead. I find the best thing to do health wise is confront any anxiety and get a health issues checked out rather than try to avoid dealing with it otherwise you are left with nagging concern.
Yes I'd agree that worrying about an unknown isn't much help to anyone, and can of course, have all sorts of negative effects; so if you can investigate the factors attributing to your anxiety about say, a health issue, then depending on the outcome you can put your mind at rest, or be proactive about what needs to be done. But I don't think we should assume that for everyone, the driver/motivator is uniformly the same, or solely a single thing, for everyone. It depends on inate personality, upbringing, wider social and economic factors etc. Some people are motivated by the excitement of challenge or danger for instance, so deliberately look out for and welcome experiences which ignite fear etc. Then you can add to that, the aspect of their personality which thrives on the sense of success achieved against the odds. Conversely some people can be driven by the desire or need to impact other's views about them, such as their parents; and might work hard to achieve an outcome rather than a goal ie getting a good job because it's how their parents measure their success rather than wanting it themselves; or simply because hard work is the right thing, and arriving at the good job is incidental to that. If you add to that, that some people are naturally more process-driven and others more outcome driven; some content with little and others needing ever more; some more likely to be motivated away from things and others towards things, some preferring the mundane, routine & familiar and others preferring continuous change etc etc it shows that there can't be an absolute in defining people's response to life events.
I believe that these are signs, warnings or preparing you for what will happen in the future.
I once had an awful dream that
My brother was being beat up by boys. So bad was it, I rang in the early hours to check on him. My mother said he was in bed & fine, so I went back to sleep.
Next morning my mother rang.
When my brother got up he was black & blue, and indeed, beaten by boys walking home previous night. I don’t think things happen to us because we focus negatively, I feel they are premonitions
I wonder having done some past life and a little bit of between life regression if we do not already know what is going to happen in life, the big events. We forget at birth and then feel fearful at the thought of whats coming. I don't think it is written in stone though. I think we can overcome our challenges.
Ah, it's referred to as 'there's one'. If we believe something we notice when it happens, and we say to ourselves the equivalent of "there's one" example, confirmation. This way we strengthen whatever we believe and our theories appear to be correct.
That said, I do believe in premonitions and foresight!
It's an interesting idea, but I think for everyone who has a fear that comes true, someone else has a fear that doesn't. For example, my friend feared she'd never be able to get pregnant, but her baby is due in January.
I guess what we have to consider is whether that person would have ever really shared their fears with you, until the moment they came true. Or whether the fear of authority is because you've had to deal with them in the past. Or how many other fears you've held, that actually never came true?
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I needed that laugh thanks Grey.
To Share or not to Share!?
a talk I wish I could give GPs called 'magic medicine' given to me by my grandmother.
Private!
I have had enough (just ranting out of frustration)
Reply to a post from Tats which I wanted to share re., cardiac symptoms.
